Well of waste

I want to drown myself in coffee.. I want to melt into every part of you.

beauty lies within the eyes, so what you expell is what you put out, & in turn recieve.. 

& in those times you bleed, & feel ugly, know it's all a part of being set free.


crippled, I stand.

shaking, my hand.

waving, goodbye... I let out a sigh.

why bother to ask? alone at last.. comfort in this clasp..

the suffocation of myself. 


breathe, be, clear my eyes with water, in attempt to better see. 

I can't bare anymore to feel the black shroud of this clouded memory..

my heart cries out for clarity..

envisioning the future, I climb..

but we all tend to fall a little short in the grasp of time.. 


how I wish to call you darling.. & stroke your hair..

caressing the sides of your face, & playing with the jewelry in your ears..

i'm sorry I couldn't of done better.. for my family has the tendency to fight & fetter.. 


another sunny day, wasted away.. I kind of wish I could lie down in my grave, & rest eternally..

maybe so many of us are unhappy because we never stop searching, we never let our heart or mind get a rest..

we always push ourselves further, & wonder why it seems like a test.. 

why haven't my eyes bled out yet...? why am I still here..?

this fear is parasitic.. consuming your insides.. till it's all that's left there... 


if I were to die, i'd hate to know he got the satisfaction of my silence...

the suffering I endured, creating massive hurricanes of inner violence.. 

i'll try now, to bring up a well of pity... just for you.. maybe i'll even throw in a penny, or dime..

but not a quarter, cause you were never worth my time.....


if you continue.... I hope you fall on your face someday, & land on my grave...

when you do, i'll be sure to pull you straight through, down under, to burn in hells fire..

this is one of my many darkest desires..

Author's Notes/Comments: 



Can’t you see it rising
The waters of your emotions
A great wall of your depression
Take care that you don’t drown in the flood!
Rising above your head
Pulling you down into the torrent
Down into it’s watery grave
Why don’t you swim away
Can’t you see yourself supplying the water
A great ocean of apathy
You’ll drown!
Swim away!
You have the strength
I will help you
But don’t try to pull me in with you
Take my hand
We can do this together
Don’t drown in the puddle beneath my feet
The weight of your emotions are merely rain
Don’t be so weak as to succumb to it

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When revenge is what you desire in your soul
Anger and hate have taken control
be careful not to call upon the one named Samael
for he brings only suffering and death and none shall be saved
even those who call him from hell,
even those will suffer a fate worse than the grave
the price of revenge is set very high
for the soul of the caller must take his place
to bind and be bound to walk in torment and never to die…

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When the fire of life and passion burns out


The dead roses of december lie at the foot of the grave of our love
the passion rots away in the cold dark earth of anger
the bones of sorrow remain long after the flesh is gone
and forgotten in the fog of time, is the union of life and youth..

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To deny the father

"I am your god...your father...I came from heaven to create you in my image, to bring light to this world!"

"He are aboninations...brought back from death to serve an unholy purpose, to exist as slaves, nothing man under heaven was meant to wake from the grave, and he is no god!"

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