# emotions # self-esteem # expressing feelings #selfworth #toxiclove

Feelings

Feelings for well being being even when it's good it's like achieving but when it's bad it's like so close to heart that's leaving a needing call feeling. Not dealing with looking up at the ceiling thinking of hurting and stealing someone meaning in life. Feeling that we develop these inside of us it builds the trust it build joy it create loyalty it feel like royalty. My feet are off the ground cause of the feeling. I look down no more but I look at you and feel happy but so I'm construed and yet so blue why do I deserve you because everyone treat me different in my opinion. Feeling what an emotion. It can be calm as the ocean or erupt like a volcano even hail violently like the stormy rain. It infect brain from your whole body to your heart and it a damage risk to becoming a scar. Each battle scar can either hurt you or make you stronger it depend on how you use it and approve it. Trust me I know it is a war that is not easily won so of course it is not fun if you ask me I think it's dumb. Feeling, be careful because your feeling become you more then you being yourself ^_^.

Hello

“Hello” -it’s no longer a greeting

“Hello” -it’s no longer a question

“Hello” -an attempt, a desperate invitation, a sacrifice.

“Hello” -that’s me trying


I stare at the bridge between our two worlds

Hoping you’ll finally keep your unspoken promise

You never do


The blame is mine

I expect too much and give too little

I’m a burden


I am the doll you can’t throw away

The beautiful guitar with broken strings

A thing you once adored, but now hate to be reminded of


And sometimes I bring myself to hate you

And sometimes I just can’t bring myself at all

Because it’s impossible to run when you’re struggling to walk


“Hello” -it may seem empty to you

But for me it is also goodbye

Goodbye to another shred of my dignity

Goodbye to another piece of myself you’ll never give back

Goodbye to possibility

Goodbye to you


It must come to this

I can’t say I miss you

Because there came a point where this suffering eclipsed all else

And now I love to hate you


“Hey”-There you are

Forever later

But never too late

Intruding into my life once again

“Hey, sorry” -You suck me right back in

An endless cycle of lust and spite


I will never give up on you

And you will never completely let me go

But I know the truth

It haunts me with every syllable spoken between us


No matter what I do

You’ll never get the clue

Because that’s the thing

People never do what you want them to


But I will stay

And play your toxic game

The one I always lose

Because you write the rules


But still I play

Hoping one day

You’ll get bored of it

And finally just win


Because I can’t take this anymore

You are the doll I can’t throw away

You are the beautiful guitar with broken strings


I used to enjoy the music we once made

I’d even say I miss the music more than you

Because it wasn’t your music, it was mine

It was me

Not you

It was the way you got into me

Made me feel like someone who could win

 

Someone worthy of your “Hello”