#depression #selfhate #hated

nothing

i mean nothing to this world
i cry just thinking about it
getting no attention 
no love
no recognition 
just floating like dust in the sky 
its a never ending tornado of pain 
living each day unnoticed by the crowd 
i wish i could receive at least one gesture to show somebody loved me 
but i know its just a useless wish that wont be granted 
i care too much about my social life
too much about pleasing people 
i wish i could say that ill stop but i dont know if thats reasonable 
living this life is as painful as it sounds 
no friends 
no family
no one that will actually care to admit that they know me 
im a mistake
im an accident 
im a living example of unwanted and now i cant handle it 
its too much for me 
but at the same time its too little
im this way for a reason
its because i am nothing
its harsh but true 
no one sees me
its like a dont exist
but ill get over it 
theres nothing i can do but wait
wait and wait until someone comes along
who loves me for me
who notices the good about me and not my flaws
someone who takes me just the way i am 
i wish, i wish, i wish. 
i wish there was someone out there who could be that person for me 
but i dont think itll happen 
the only one i care about
the only person in this entire world who's attention i want the most
ignores me entirely
the worst part is
he knows how i feel
ive relayed my feelings to him 
but its like i disgust him 
he has to be desperate to come to me
to talk to me
to hug me
im in love with him but i cant do anything
its hopeless 
maybe one day he'll see me
but that day is unreachable by the human race
physically impossible to get to
whatever though 
im good
Author's Notes/Comments: 

The contents of this poem are real things that I, as the author, feel on a regular basis. I am not clinically depressed. Just a little sad.