basics

Odd Man Out

Sometimes, I realize how different I am.

 

A shape that doesn't fit into any one particular place

 

Odd man out

 

When I look back on how versatile I've always been

Lots of different cliques, not a singular type of friend

 

Expending everything I have to be someone people want to talk to

 

But for what?

 

What am I searching for?

 

 

I can identify so many beautiful things that I have

In real life

 

A short few people who actually love me, for me

 

When I need them, they come through

 

In depth long conversation

 

Or just a simple cup of coffee because they're near

 

These are tried and true relationships

 

 

Sometimes I realize how different I am.

 

The tallest tree in the forest, towering above those who directly surround her

 

Or the tiniest grain of sand, undifferentiated, lost in an endless desert

So much the same, but uniquely separate in perspective

Nothing better, nothing worse

Just different...

 

If I had the choice to be somene else, in another place, another position

I wouldn't think twice before turning it down

I realize this isolation is an opportunity to turn myself around

I was once lost, and once again I will be found

I know I won't find myself in the struggle of another

So, I'll stop attempting to drown myself in the company of others

The silence, the absence, the willingness to be with me

The effort, The choice, The solace

It's become my sole necessity

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm in a weird space within right now.

Trying to find the strength to go radio silent and let the true friendships surface.

Trying to find a true friendship with myself, and rebuild my connection to my spirit.

Distance and space are hard to do when you feel like you'll be missing out on others.

But, it's time.