#acceptanceandlove

Dear Father

I'm still the same like before with a heart of youth
I haven't changed at all.
The only thing that has changed is you knowing the truth.

I'm glad I came out the closet 
but at the same time your actions are taking up space
Making me feel like I'm a guest in my own home.
So I don't care what label you slap on my face
I will make them disappear like flying foam.
I was born this way 
And I will stay this way until my hair turns grey.

I think its sad how my first loves can’t accept who I am because of religion.
You made your decision
So I guess I'll have to deal with the collisions.

If saying the truth every time will get me into trouble
then I might as well keep quiet 
and keep my thoughts in my own bubble.
Open up your eyes and stop denying it,
and you can end this whole struggle.

I was so scared of telling you but not because I was ashamed,
but because I didn’t want to hear the same things mom said.
Hearing I was a disappointment and a piece of sh*t
Just made me even more afraid.

I wanted to tell you,
but I didn’t want to hear the same thing twice.
I didn’t want to say something I couldn’t undo,
but once I told you it felt nice.

When I told you I was waiting for another reaction,
but it made me happy the reaction you gave.
You didn’t judge like mom you went on a different direction.
You listened and asked which made me feel brave.

I wasn’t scared anymore
I felt like I could trust you a little bit more.
I knew you weren’t going to accept me,
since what I told you is something you forbid.
Since eighth grade I hid,
and when I finally opened my lid
I thought it was the best thing I did.

The following is what you might think of me from my point of view: 
You may think what I’m doing is a sin
because it's not the environment I grew in.
You might think I’m confused
because you don’t want to accept so you refuse.
You may think I need help or treatment
because you don’t want any family judgement.
You might want to fix me
because it wasn’t your hope for me to be this way.
There are so many reasons why you don’t want to accept me 
and that’s fine with me, I just hope it's something you don’t regret.

I feel differently,
I believe people can love the same gender.
But there’s always negativity
that will never surrender.
Judgement will always be there
no matter where, you can feel it through the air.
You can restrict me to not go out
but I will be me and follow the same route.
I know there will always be disappointment
but I will live life with such enjoyment.
You can send me to church everyday
but I will still be gay.
You may wish terrible things my way
but I’ll make sure to break them away.

Not having your support hurts
but we can’t have everything in life.
I expected worse
but all that happened was strife.
All I can do is give you wholehearted love
and bring peace like a dove.

I’m sure you need time to process
and I do too.
So if I don’t talk much, 
don't be worried I just don't want to be misjudged.

Actions speak louder than words
and your actions are losing my trust.
Your actions are not showing love
so your words will fade away like dust.

A parent’s love is unconditional
and the love your showing me is fictional.
Before you knew, I was your perfect daughter
now as a father, you think you are failing
and you are doing everything even praying.

If you really love me you wouldn't want me to change.
You'd say its okay instead of making me feel all strange.
You should have known how hard it was to open up
just like its hard for you to accept.

I wish you guys could see me as the same 
instead you see me as a shame 
Just know the future is near
and I leave in two years.
Make sure you’re not acting out of fear
because once I’m gone the distance will be real.

So father, I ask 
Is it better to love a daughter or leave her to be slaughtered?


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9/12

9/11/2001 

a day filled with sorrow, filled with anger…filled with regret

9/11/2001

A day many of us will ever forget…

 

For that is the moment our world lost its innocence…

So many tragedies inflicted that day…

And we knew the heartache we all were feeling…

Neither our tears…nor the passage of time…could wash away.

 

But as horrific as 9/11 was for all of us

There’s a subject into which I'd like to delve…

It’s not what occurred to cloud the beauty that day…

It’s what happened…beginning 9/12

 

9/12 we came together as one country…

One country for all the world to see….

No divisions, no discord, no disharmony…

one people…united through tragedy.

 

9/12 reminded us how fragile is life

How capricious and fickle is Fate…

We once again learned that life is too short

And we have no time to loathe, scorn…or hate.

 

It’s been 16 years since the towers fell

A day catastrophic and misbegotten…

But as I look around our country today

I wonder if some of it’s lessons have been forgotten…

 

We have allowed hate to perch in our country

We are inflicting tragedies in what we do and what we say

We are divided and we are allowing that hate

To cloud all our beautiful days…

 

I hope we bring back togetherness and love

I hope hate we one day can shelve…

Perhaps just as we did 16 years ago

 

We can begin again…today…on 9/12.



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