tears

Solitude

Is all around me,
like ice that cuts to the core,
shivers of emptiness,
so much love to give,
but only Solitude answers my call ....

 

We could of been so good,
I opened to you like a rose pedal,
and you cut me like thorns,
as if I had no meaning ....

 

These tears fall and wont stop,
my tender heart once again broken,
Solitude my only companion and foe,
You, you will never know ....

 

I see your eyes, hear your voice,
but only Solitude remains true,
I wish you truly knew,
how completely I could of loved you,
held you so close with a true heart,
Yet only Solitude remains steadfast ....

 

I wish you peace, joy and happiness,
all the treasures it seems I'll never know,
my constant companion Solitude,
my friend heartbreak,
my meal emptiness, my cup thirst ....

 

You looked past my beautiful rose petals,
never touched or smelled my true sweetness,
letting the thorns get in the way,
an excuse to run and hide from true beauty ....

 

When will this Solitude cease,
My pain stricken heart know peace,
my heart fill with gladness,
the tears no longer flow? ....

 

When will my hero walk into my eyes,
tenderly embrace my broken pain,
fill me with happiness,
quench my thirst, and feed my hunger? ....

 

Until then I walk in Solitude,
I awaken to Solitude,
Solitude my only friend and companion,
my sole banquet, my bitter cup of wine ....

 

2:01 PM 9/18/2011Copyrights 2011-2016
Chicahuac Necahuatl

Author's Notes/Comments: 

To all the men who never saw or touched the delicate rose, only seeing her thorns ....

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Lie

You love is a lie.
Why else would i cry?
Why do i try?
Your not worth my time.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Short poem

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tags:

No Pulse

Folder: 
1st poems

Rip my heart out already!
I can't bear the pain anymore.
I thought I was strong enough
I thought this misery I could handle
Yet, today I find myself completely wrong
I can’t endure a single hit of your indifference.

Kill me now!
Life without you is incomplete
Don’t hesitate
This is what I need, this is what I want
You two are soul mates
Meant for each other
And I’m just a piece of shit
Following you around.

You broke my world and my soul
You luxuriate in their flavor
At once ate the pieces
Yet they yearn for your company
Why does my love for you keep increasing?
I’m a masochist.

Are you delighted to watch me suffer?
Do you enjoy my screeches of grief?
Do you find pleasant the sight of my endless tears?
Thank you for your neglect,
Thank you for your dismissal.
My world swiftly collapses
My sanity level relapses.
I’ve lost my reason
And in exchange I’ve gained madness.
Where is my “Get Out of Hell” ticket?
You must have torn it apart,
And with it the pulse in my heart.

Stranded on the island of torture
Feeding on pieces of shattered glass
Drinking from the fountain of torment,
My life is living hell.

Compared to you I am worthless
I have as much dignity and gracefulness of a crawling rat
I’m just that pitiful wounded dog
That you keep kicking and can’t stop.

It’s been a long while
Since I’ve carried a smile
You robbed me it
And gave me grief
You lowlife thief
I was cursed to rot and burn in hell’s deepest pit.
That’s where you told me to go
But I’ll meet you there
‘Cause you’re mundane and wicked
Just so you know.
I keep having nightmares at night
When the sun goes down
And everything gets dark
I wake up in sobs
Turn to fetal position
And cry myself back to sleep
This hole you dug up, for me, is just too deep.
I can’t see anything down here
There’s no light
Or hope
Or life.
It’s just me
And my demons
Haunting my very being.

I’ve lost my will to live
I’m slowly letting go of life
Without you by my side
Is just impossible to survive.

My heart stopped beating
It stopped living
Then how can I still touch and walk?
How can I still breath and talk…?

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Tears of Blood

Folder: 
1st poems

I left and came back again
In a stupid way
I love the feeling of pain
I wait for my eyes to open someday
It’s something I need
To live without you
Otherwise my heart will continue to bleed
I’ve forgotten what’s true
By believing all the lies.

If you are the devil
Then steal my soul
For you I’d happily burn in inferno’s deepest hole

When people tell me you’re a mistake
I tell them not to correct me
Because all I ask is for you not to neglect me

I’ve followed your path
So don’t tell me to go a different direction
When all I ask is for you to give me all your affection

Have you ever loved something that isn’t yours?
It’s harder than it looks
It’s something you can’t learn
Because love isn’t a subject found in books
You have to experience it
And enjoy it
And then suffer and cripple
Get back on your feet
Wait, rinse, and repeat.

It hurts just to think
I see your face in my mind everytime I blink
I can’t help but to hide in the dark
Not wanting to be talked to or seen
I put walls around my heart
You don’t know how hard it’s been.

In the corners,
On my pillow
I endlessly cry
Shedding tears of blood
Wondering if the pain I carry is strong enough to die.

Yet, I keep making the same mistake
When I was already replaced.
I keep wanting more
Your face I got to adore
And I don’t want to let you go
I wish I could forget
To have never known
What it’s like and how it feels
To love an addictive person like you

But one day I won’t love you anymore
I will have moved on
And let things fall where they belong
Because although we seemed right
We are different in the things we do
And one day when I sleep at night
A single tear won’t be shed for you.

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Downpour

Folder: 
2011

Tears come so easy
Everyday we don’t talk
And I know the reality of it
I know they’ll keep falling
Until we next talk

You know that I love you
As you do love me
But my tears come easily
Till we see each other
Until you see me

So until that day comes
It will be a downpour
Of my tears that is
Until that day you see me
Then I will soar

~Chrystal
Written on
May 13, 2011

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one is about my boyfriend Brian Marshall. We haven't spoken since March 5, 2011. I have been finding it hard to keep holding on, not because I want to be with another, just because we haven't spoken since then. It's SO hard for me to keep with the faith when we don't talk. Yet I know that as soon as we do, we will be insepratable again. :)

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Tears that tore

Tear me apart from limb to limb
For thees tears are tearing my heart apart.
So many day,week, months and years we havebeen apart.
Lost to each other
But still there in each others hearts
Unspoken and untouched
Left to be foregoten but never lost
a deep desire
That brings tears and tore hearts apart
Throughout live I yearned for you
Seeking your touch, you wisper in my ear
A simple good moring my dear
But this love eludes me, us in every way

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tags:

Scared

Folder: 
2009

And there you are

My love my life

You found me in hell

Want me to be your wife

 

But we can’t seem

To float let alone swim

But why not

I always did it with them

 

I fear I’m dying

Drowning in unshed tears

Shivering and scared

Unspoken fears

 

Why can’t we make it

Why can’t we fly

Why when I find love

Am I doomed to die?

 

~Chrystal

Written on

February 2, 2009

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Again this one was to Eli. Asking why we cant make it.

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Through The Tears

Folder: 
2004

Looking through

Unshed tears in my eyes

I finally see the result

Of my cheating and lies

 

He’s walking away

On the longest walk of his life

The stretch between me

And were no longer husband and wife

 

The wound created by mine own hand

Runs straight through my heart

To know what I’ve done to you

It literally tears me apart

 

I would give my life

For true forgiveness

Yet death would be to easy an end

No, let me live with the pain of all this

 

~Chrystal Swallows

Written on

October 6, 2004

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written To Steve. We didn't break up at this point. The final break up wouldn't happn for a few more weeks.

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The Lost Heartbeat

Folder: 
2007

When I met you

My heart skipped a beat

I knew right then

There was no retreat

As I loved you

You took my breath

 I knew if I lost you

It would be my death

And now I’ve left you

You weren’t the man for me

I can run now

And finally be free

My heart hasn’t stopped

Its never better-kept time

I know it’s okay now

I can write this rhyme

I can breathe now

I know I won’t die

If your not here

But I might cry

I trusted my heart

Only to you dear

And you crushed it

Never shed a tear

But it’s okay now

You’re not here

To hurt me anymore

I don’t need to fear

 

~Chrystal

Written on

July 23, 2007

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written to Steve. Unfortunatly, I wrote some of my best to him. That is going to change, however. I am going to end up writing my best poems to my current boyfriend. Some of those have already been written. You can see them from Feb. 28, 2011 on. smiley

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