tears

*Silent Melody*

September.8.2000 
Trisha M Barrek Hopkins


Only i can hear this silent melody 
So loud and clear 
So bright and true 
So lovely i shed a tear 
Nobody understands what I'm going through 
No one understands this fear 
That's trapped inside 
Nobody wants to hear 
So i just stay to myself i just hide 
No one yet has told me for me they care 

 

My heart hurts every night 
When it's time to go to sleep 
This pain inside i try my hardest to fight 
But all i can do is weep 

 

No one wants to listen 
In my eyes 
There's no shine 
They don't even glisten 
All I have are my midnight cries 
And my silent Melody 
Sitting there right along my side 
Watching as time flies by 
I'm trying my hardest, my best 
Not to let the rest of me die 
Mean while with my tears no cares if i hide 

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*You're*

 
 July-8-2001 
 Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins
 
You're my shine 
After the rain
 
You're my water 
When the ocean runs dry
 
You're my tears 
When i can no longer cry
 
When I have not one friend
You're my peers
 
You're my courage
 When i can no longer try
 
You're my protection 
When i run into fears
 
You're my strength 
When i'm weak
 
You're my tissue
When i cry tears
 
You're my repair 
When i have a broken heart
 
You're my sound 
When i can no longer hear
 
You're my way 
When i can no longer be found
 
You're my day 
Before the stary night
 
You're my eyes 
When i no longer have sight
 
To me sweety you're: 
My everything 
Because together 
We have something 
We have eachother 
A special bond that'll last forever
From here to the moon
As long as we have each other 
Our Love will always bloom
 
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*Heartless*

November-5-1997 
Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins

Deep in my soul 
It is all empty 
Never reaching my goal 
There is no beat in me 
My heart has fallen apart 
Knowing no one really cared 
Knowing from the start 
To get to know me no one dared 
I mid as well become heartless 
Get rid of my tears 
Want to change my inner mess 
All i got are my fears 
Trying to tell someone that im depressed 
Its useless no one cares 
Feeling all the pain 
Wanting to disappear 
Showing that i care isn't a game 
All i want is someone to hold to be near

All i do at night is cry 
My love i want to share 
But i rather just die 
With me no one wants to start that flare 
Wanting to lay by the fire 
Holding and loving someone is the desire 
Wishing someone would look my way 
Wishing they would stare 
I love you is what i wish they would say 
Heartless i am 
You care too much people say 
All i want to be is your precious jem 
Wishing i am strong enough to see the next day 
Im sick of feeling hurt 
You are beautiful I've been told 
I've always known that from the start 
But no one ever sees the tears on my shirt 
But all i want is someone to hold 
But all i get is a heart torn apart

Close your eyes and dream 
And you can be with me 
Love me with all your heart 
Let our hearts be free 
Stick together lets not fall apart 
Inside builds up all this stress 
Feeling all alone and afraid 
I don't want to be heartless 
All inside the pain is made 
One day i will be dead 
Because of a broken heart 
No on believed on what i said 
No one can put the pieces back from being apart 
Im all alone 
All by myself 
My heart has turned to stone 
Put me back on the shelf

Where i belong 
For everyone to walk by 
It wont be long 
Before my soul will die 
The tear falling from my eyes 
No one wants to pick me 
Why cant i have bluer skies 
The hurt building inside why cant people see 
Is everyone as heartless as me 
All alone and blue 
Why cant the hurt set me free 
On how much i really hurt i guess no one knew 
So i remain as i be 
Stuck with this painful mess 
No one will ever see 
That i will always remain heartless

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The Tear

Folder: 
human beings

whether in angst or sorrow or bliss,

our tears are like the ice

that melts off mountains

to form new rivers and streams.


the sound of a symphony,

the wail of a newborn baby,

the anguished weeping heard

in between church prayers

at a funeral service,

the dreamy fixed gaze

in the eyes of a woman,

holding her great grandchild

for the first time.

 

reading the handwritten

love sonnet from a beloved...

and sometimes,

just the perfection

and sychronicity felt with

the sight of a mere sunrise or sunset

that touches the heart

and reminds us of what beauty is....


or the remnants of a life...

even a death,

after the fury

of mother nature has spoken

truth of powers

that we mere human beings

know nothing of.


It is those things

and those things only

that we continue on this journey for.


the journey we call life,

that is welded and weaved 

with the tears

of all human beings

who ever walked the earth.


all human beings 

who have cried the same tear,

in moments of happiness, sadness....fear,

an inseparable kinship, 

an anchor between,

it's that "something" we reach for,

that's there, but unseen.

 

the human experience, collectively,

shares many emotions while we're here,

and this fabric called life weaves it's tapestries best,

...with its invisible thread of "the tear".

 

 

 

*****


2015, January

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just about life.

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Lost to Sea

light a fire just to watch it burn
Sit across the street with empty hands
Behind a tree unnoticed, so it's not my turn 
I have infinite thoughts, but empty plans

Ending up only to be pretty hollow
Ideas only stay for portion of a second
Echoing through the empty walls. and then comes nothing
Diffusing into the air, to become a forgotten particle
and nothing comes to follow


To set the ominous breeze,
Over the most vibrant sea, that suddenly lost color
and the skies are now gone and dull
They paint the picture to not excite, but simply appease


To be trapped inside this now and empty void
With nothing but everything destroyed
To say that we are fine, and simply avoid
Now we sail, swift onto the large sea of contradictions
Too lost within, that we forget our own convictions
Letting loose the anchor of anxiety, and thus become the restrictions

 

But this is not the end,
A man aboard throws over his only friend
And a storm rolls in, and then our destination is not known
As realization becomes the new sun, and hearts are turned to stone
A daughter now deserted by her parents is overwhelmed in strife
She whimpers, but can not help wonder what makes up this sickly life
A world where people phase in, and phase out
and thoughts become ideas, and ideas become a shout
and how long does a day go on to stay out and last,
Before awesome expectations become invisible, straight into the past?

 

Will the ship find it's way to land, or sink in despair?
Great ideas no match for the roaring waves of Negativity and ignorance?
Those striving so long for a real sun, to only be in vain, deprived?
And those hopelessly waiting for relief, to be cruelly concealed, unaware?

 

The masterpiece of a book now weathered to nothing but scribbles
A great idea now hidden and destroyed by life's cruel riddles
Will the hands be strong at ease to create another inspiration?

Or will it fail to swim over the simplest waves and forget it's own foundation?






Blues For My Man

 
 
I don’t wear
A gardenia in my hair.
But baby,
I still sing the blues.
Thank you for the heartache,
And a special thanks, for the attitude.
 
When you first laid eyes on me
You were like Billie Dee
(And I Miss Ross)
Swooning for your dizzy charms
So thank you for that sweet gesture.
(short and sweet)
And thank you very much for my song.
 
How could I ever resist,
Your honey suckle kiss,
Tumbling down my bare spine?
(you know I loved it when you kissed me there)
Baby, thank you for those tears I cried.
And thank you for the dry bitter wine.
 
Good morning heartache
Hear I go again
Good morning heartache
Can’t no other song spin
 
 
Me and Billy got this thing
And it’s more than the swing that I do when I hear her croon.
“I cried for you” She sings!
And baby,
I cry for you.
 
 
Finally someone gave me something to pout about,
Something to shout about
Something to wail out loud about!
 
You put the b flat
In my tune
So thank you for the heartache,
 Yes, I thank you for the heartache!
I said, I love you for the heartache!
And a special thanks for my new attitude.
 
 
Can’t you hear me singing the blues?
All of me
Singing the blues,
Why not take all of me
Singing the blues?
Can’t you see
Blue.
I’m no good without you…?
 
 
By Ayesha K. Faines Copyright 2010

Sugar and Cyanide

Feeling alive,

sugar and cyanide,

bursting into flames,

thoughts twinkle

and teeter on the edge,

crashing all the walls down,

collages formed,

pictures of us catch

fire,

faults start to form,

appears like cracks in mirrors,

screams scorch anything

you every said,

the I love you's,

the I will be there,

was lies,

not taking it I

try to stop the tapes,

try to stop

the memories,

pressing stop

I take out the film,

wanting the end

I cuddle up to you,

looking into your black eyes,

I take out a match,

igniting the spark I light your body on fire,

not even feeling I walk away without

looking back,

no more of the I love you again,

grow up,

when a heart

break it never breaks even,

never do a women wrong,

don't play with fire if you can't

 

handle the bright fire

Then I met “Me”

 

I have been building my place of hiding, my shell, since I was born,

At first the sole purpose was purely for safety from a possible storm

But as years progressed, my shell became tattered and torn,

So, I rebuilt my shell so indestructibly that it can always be worn

 

I was always “me”, but never for the world to see

My shell became my permanent home, where I found my safety

My tears were always my own, never to be spilt or shown to anyone not even me

Decades later, I came to realize that I’ve hidden “me” so deeply that I lost my very own identity

 

“Who am I?”

“Who am I supposed to be?”

“Panic stricken! I might as well not be…..”

I Raced my car, aimed - just so that I could “accidently” crash into a tree..

But then……, I met the “one” and I met “me”

 

A Total stranger whom I met coincidentally,

Who uttered only a few harsh words, and ended with a cold glance.

A man who stabbed my soul so intense and deeply without even giving me a chance

Little did he know, that he would be the one who brings me back to reality

 

 

 

 

Written by 

Dlr

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Did You Ever Care

Ever gotten that feeling where you wanted to die?

Felt like nothing was left of you,

And you just wanted to say goodbye?

Tired of the sorrows that reign in your heart too?

Thought about the blade in all of its shine

And the regrets that buried in time?

What happens when all you have is hope,

But that leaves you too. How can you cope?

Do you begin again,

Or do you put it to a final end?

What happens when all apologies have left your heart?

How could you ever forget that feeling, so tart?

Resolutions seem too far past

To reconcile the love that was meant to last.

Maybe hope is too much to ask for

Even for the love that we promised to adore.