Strength

The Bridge

There once was a bridge, such a pretty, strong little bridge.
it had vines creeping up the sides, flowers of red and blue.
delicate carvings, beautiful sculptings.
beautiful clear, cool, blue water flowed beneath.
tiny fish could be seen contently swimming
making their way down the creek.
each day, people take the bridge, not paying attention to it's beauty.
they run and trample across, crumbling peices as they go.
some take the crumbled pieces, throwing them over into the water below.
some have stopped for a while, to take in the veiw,
however, they never stay long.
some try to patch up the cracks and wear,
not many are successful, they aren't paitent enough to fix them all.
some stop for a while to fish,
removing the fish from the creek.
each day people take the bridge,
sometimes stopping to pick the flowers,
stripping the vines of their grace.
each day people take the bridge, no maitence is done.
the bridge has become fragile.
some of the beams from below are close to collapsing.
quite often, the bridge has become a target of vandalism.
hurtful words are written across it, and sculptures broken.
however, the bridge holds it ground,
using the last of it's strenght to hold up the passing people.

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Float Upwards

Folder: 
My Personal Faves

This that million billion
zillion other things
swarm like bees, thoughts do
I just can't decide

Stop! Just stop! I
Close my eyes
Then close them tighter
Images flash

Feel breath leaving, somewhat choppy
Never tears
I just feel numb
Til I see your face
It brings me here

Back to now
What i want, i love
It is always art
My life, my dream

I feel so weak
Misplaced
held down by waves that
Pull me under, I
Fight, I struggle
Im a child
Tossed and suffocating
Blinded by the bubbles and noise
Which way up
How can I find it?

Will I float towards sunlight if I'm calm?
Or must I deliberately and actively swim upwards?
Open my eyes and seek light, if it stings my eyes?
Or have faith in my air-filled lungs to make me rise?

how can I think myself
Out of this blind spot
When the reason
I'm so deep
Is my thoughts themselves?

Rabid vermon
Keep me in self-inflicted wounds
And punishment
Self destruction --such a force

I guess I am stronger than I thought
But I use my strength to hurt myself
Like I would hurt
no one else

Angry bitter; That is fine
But to take a chance on love again
Well that seems foolish

When it hurts inside
So badly you want to give up
Rather than face heartbreak again
I cannot fight it
I guess I'll just hope
to
Float Upwards

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Stay with me sweet nothingness

nothingness
gentle nothingness

wrap me up in your sweet arms
keep me warm
calm me

sweet nothingness
breathe me
remove my thoughts
take me to an empty space
dark vastness

i float
past chatter busy voices rumbles scattered
alone in the silence
enveloped by peace

stay withing me, dear
don't abandon me
when i rise from my bed
and enter the daylight
forget me not
and i shall try
to remember you too

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Son's Hero

Folder: 
Wulfman Adventures

All because my little Wolverine
Asked me to stick around
'cuz he wants his dad here
To be his Superman

I did it son, I was Superman
Against my demons, to conquer all
I know they will never go away
All we can do with addiction is tame

There are more victories now
Then there ever has been

When I feel weak, I remember you
When it is collapsing, I think of you
How you use to touch my face
Palms on my cheeks to give me a kiss

I am going to get my red cape
My Superman jumpsuit
To kick some ass
To make sure I keep my promise

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Character

Armour plated
Sword wielding
Grim determined
Heart beating
Friend and foe
Always leading
Is he man
Or God seething

Suited man
By clothes protected
He's the one
Best selected
Never losing
Unaffected
Fighting on
So well directed

One like either
Born to be
No conditions
Can set free
The making of
A man as he
No grasping straws
Create him thee

Patroclus in
A race to win
Was just a man
Of normal sin
He never knew
Mistake he made
To don the suit
In death he laid

What lesson learned
Too late to know
And not to be
A friend in show
But be yourself
And act no other
Even though
You be his brother

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Found Dreams

And in the realm of dreamscapes

Where water’s thick as oil

Dust coats the tongues of wanderers

Who earn a pittance for their toil

 

And a girl now twenty

Stood hanging out the wash

And with each grimy sheet she hung

She counted what was lost

 

And the gritty clapboard shanty

The one that she called home

Was empty and was hollow

She was all alone-

 

The horizon went forever

As they do only in dreams

The tears she wiped from her cheeks

Weren’t what they seemed

 

They came away as glass

She had cried priceless jewels

She gathered tears in her apron

To hide them from the fools

 

In the jewels’ reflection

She saw what was to be

Gathered up her courage

Determined to be free

 

And in the realm of dreamscapes

Where wanderers pass on by

She took hold of dreams she cried

And waved them all goodbye

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Fighter

 

I'm tired of fighting. 

Nobody asked me if I wanted to be a fighter.

I don't want to be selfish and quit.

But putting on this armor every day weighs on my body and soul.

I'm exhausted.

Just once, I want someone to help me take care of me. 

Someone to assist me in my struggles, not because I ask, but because they want to.

No judgements passed. 

Someone who will help me to remove some of this armor and put it on themselves and not fight for me, but fight with me.

Someone to help me carry the weight of my past.

With shoulders strong enough to hold the insecurities in my tears.

I can't fight anymore.

Not alone.

Bullets of reality hit my shields and deflect but always leave their mark.

A small dent or scratch.

My once new armor now looks worn.

Let me lay down my sword. 

I don't want to fight anymore. 

Let me press pause while I undress myself and stand up tall, fully exposed in front of you. 

If you would like to pick up my armor off the ground and wear it for a while and protect me, I would be forever grateful. 

But I don't expect you it. 

Although I spent so many years shielding you.

But that's who I am.

I'm a fighter. 

But nobody asked me if I wanted to be a fighter. 

So today...

I quit.

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