SICK

PRIMAL INSTINCT

 

                              PRIMAL INSTINCT

 

 

      What more glorious ways to show my emotions….

                             

                                      MARGOT.

 

 

   Drink, drink till you tilt!

No booze, no alcohol but just mineral water, pure, crystal, rain, source, river, ocean, how big it feel tonight…

So I hold the plastic bottle and drink myself to despair!

I know that the ultimate confessional room is waiting for me. Small and pretty vulgar, I guess peoples would think of the act!

More laxatives, more pills, doesn’t matter what there are for…

No food, I have enough shit inside of me, waiting to explode, waiting to come off!

 

Drink, drink till you tilt. No booze, no champagne, any glamorous ways, juste pure water, the essence of the earth, the blue planet…

Can you feel the liquid shocking you? Pouring through your nostrils, no more place to swallow!

 

Time to confess.

Direction toilet, loot, w-c whatever you want to call it! Undressing each garment of clothes.

Naked I choose to be. No disguise, no jewels, just my flesh seating on the toilet.

I have been holding my bladder long enough, my bowels are the way out!

No flowers, no candles just electric light, aureole of a saint on top of your head…

 

First time, pissing down all the bitterness through my penis. Once upon a time, my best weapon, my escape!

Time stretch to eternity, the chanting noise of my piss flashing on the Thames water.

 

Time for the anger to get out, no need to push. Years of turds, memories falling from my intestines.

Smell the passing years, each ones, perfume of dead flowers…

Nature is done, mission could have been accomplish, but no!

 

I scream, while pushing harder. I can feel my colon bleeding, ripping of myself, to fall into a mixture of degenerated emotions.

The small intestine follow and the pain become even more execrating!

Funny noises, as I sense my stomach turning inside out, raping from my inside, squeezing throughout my asshole!

Once upon a time, the door of so many sinful pleasure…

 

Big splash! Liver, prostate, kidney, the all lot falling at once.

Breathing difficulty, no much longer, slow heartbeat, no way out.

Turning round, blood running all over my legs, twisted outside down pleasure…

 

Like an aborted child, I stared at my organs floating, still connected by some pinkie flesh.

I grab firmly the handle of the loo and with what I have left of my strength, push my head into the Carnage Ocean!

Stuffing myself with my bladder, biting hard, bursting between my teeth, and swallowing the poison!

 

My last gesture, flashing it all, wastes all waste….

Drowning peacefully as I feel my last remains suck into the hole, to finally disappear into black tunnel, finding my restful place into the gutter!

 

 COPYRIGHT@H.NAUDET.2000.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

HOW DISTURBING IT MIGHT SEEMS, I NEVER FIND A BETTER WAY TO FLASH YOURSELF IN SUCH BTTER WAY!!!
WELL OF COURSE, TO BLOW YOURSELF BUT APART THE MESS, WHAT IS BEAUTIFUL, NO, IF I COULD, I WOULD RATHER SHIT MYSELF INSIDE OUT...OF COURSE, I NEVER HEAR OF SUCH A CASE + THIS WAS WRITTEN IN 2000 AND I THANK, FUCK, SINCE I LOVE MYSELF A LITTLE MORE.
ANYWAY, EVEN AT THE TIME, IT WAS SIMPLY METHAHORES, BUT AS DISTURBING TO MANY WHO READ IT, I FIND SOMETHING, POWERFUL, 1: I NEVER HEAR ANYONE KILLING HIMSELF BY SHITTING HIMSELF OUTSIDE DOWN!
AND 2 , THE METAPHOR AND VIOLENCE OF THIS PIECE, EVEN ME, DISTURBE ME, I MUCT HAVE BEEN ON SUCH CHEMICALS!
STILL...POETRY IS THE FREEDOM TO LET ANYONES TO SAY OR EXPRES IN THEIR WAYS, HOW THEY FEEL/FELT AT THE TIME, THEY WROTE IT. LUCKY, I MUCH HAVE BEEN CONSTIPATED IT THAT DAY!

View margot's Full Portfolio