shadow

I Know How That Feels

I Know How You Feel
When Your Friends Ignore You
They Don't Even Respond To You
When They Have Some Free Time
But You're No Where First On Their List
They're Always Chilling With Their Other Friends

 

I Know How You Feel
When Your Friends Need Somebody
But They Just Don't Think Of You
They Go On And Ask A Different Friend
It Feels Like You're Not Worth Their Time

 

I Know How You Feel
When You Give So Much Of Your Time
But It Feels Like It Goes To Waste And Unnoticed
Overlooked The Shoulder And Ignored

 

I Know How You Feel
When They Don't Need You
But You Know They're Hurting Inside
Cause They're Afraid To Ask For Help
And When You Ask Them If They're Feeling Fine
They Tell You're They're Doing 'okay'
But The Misery Undeniably Shows On Your Face

 

I Know How You Feel
When You Feel So Worthless
But You're Worth Everything To Me
You The One Who Fixes Me When I'm Down
You Shine So Bright In The Dark
Like A Diamond Hidden In The Mines
But You Don't See That In Yourself, Do You

 

I Know How You Feel
When You've Feel Like You've Made No Progress
And When You Compare Yourself To Others
The Pain Deepens In Agony And So Much Distress
You Might Not Glow At All In The Day Light
But You Shine Brighter Than Anyone In The Dark
Radiating The Love Higher Than The Sun

Made To Share With Everyone

Folder: 
Miracles

I Know We're Not Perfect
And We're Aren't Ones To Judge
Sometimes We Make Mistakes
And That's Normal For Everyone
But When We Hurt Those That Judge Us
It Makes Us No Different
Cause We're No Different From Sinners
To The Saints Who Glorify The World

 

Cause We Are The Ones Who Feel The Suffering

We Are The Ones Who Feel The Guilt
We Are The Ones We Feel The Hurt
We Are The Ones Who Feel The Pain

 

But We Were Created To Love Others
We Were Created To Be Strong
So We Could Lift Up Others As Well
Though People Will Push You To The Ground
Knock You Off Your Feet And Crush You
You're Stronger Than Burning Steel
You're Swift Like The Drifting Sea

 

Cause You're So Bright In The Shadow And
You Were Made Shine Like Diamond
Perfect In His View To Boast In His Glory
You May Think You're Not Good Enough
But You're Made Exactly How God Wanted You

 

Cause He Made Us In His Own Flesh
That We Could Share The Grace Of The Lord
It Ain't No Lie Cause Its All In Full Truth
He Made Us So We Could Share His Love
The Love That Is Unconditional And Unlimited To All

 

There Ain't No Limits To Who Gets Joy, Delight Or Cheerfulness
It Was So We Could Share The Joy In His Presence
And Out Of His Presence
We Are United As One Spirit
One Heart Whole As One
One Mind Fused As One
One Body Combined As One
And One Soul To Blend As One

Intangible Gift Of Acceptance And Love

Folder: 
People

I Know How You Feel
I Know That Kind Of Pain
The One You Feel
This Ain't No Mystery
There May Be No Healing
It's Not That Easy

 

But I'll Be Here For You
Cause I Know They've Hurt You
But I'm Here Waiting For You
Just Come Here With Wide Open Arms
And I'll Heal Your Heart

 

Many Tears You've Cried
Sorrow Spread All Over The Ocean
But If That Sadness Stretched Over A Horizon
I'd Clear It With The Wideness Of My Love
The Unconditional Unlimited Love
Assured And Complete Safeness Forever

 

There's No Strings Attatched
No Danger To The Vunerable
Cause I'll Be Your Shield
The Security In Your Heart
If You Feel The Pain
Then Let Me Heal Your Heart
With A Lovable Soft Hug

 

Something That May Be Low Of Value
But That Underestimated Value
Of Giving A Definate Intagible Unconditional Present
The Wholeness To Give Ones Body
And Hold It Against One Another
To Feel The Warmth And Care

 

To Feel The Pain And Sorrow
If You Could Feel The Emotions Of Others
Would It Feel Rough
Could You Feel The Agony
The Aches That Injuries Their Mind
The Throbbing Torturous Conscience

 

You Wonder If Theres Anyone In The World
If Someone, Just Somebody At All
That Would Definately Care For You
You Just Gotta Know That I'm Praying For You

 

Cause I Know The Words They Throw Will Hurt You
Words From Bullies, Enemies And Traitors
They Throw And Yell In Your Face
And All You Feel The Pain Thrown At You
Wondering What Can You Do To Escape It All

 

I Know It Ain't Easy But Its Worth It
You May Feel Worthless But You're So Important To Me
I Know Theres a Reason For You Living This Way
But Don't Give Up On Me Just Yet
CauseI'll Take You As You Are

 

I Don't Care How Broken You Are
Or What Has Happened In Your Past
Cause In A Way Everyones Broken
And Messed Up Somewhere In Their Life
Whatever The Weakness You Have
I Don't Need To Know

 

But For Sure I Love You From My Heart
Telling You Words May Mean Nothing
But From The Purity Of My Soul
I Couldn't Give Anything Else
Then This Conditional Love I Was Given
This Love Christ Has Given Me
Where In The World Could I Possibly Obtain
The Only Thing I'd Ever Want In Return
Is You To Accept The Love I Give
No Need To Worry At All
Cause I've Loved You Since The Beginning To Forever

The Love That Hurts And Heals Us

Folder: 
Miracles

I Know You Said Love Was Fragile
It Was Created To Give And Take
Sometimes Hard To Receive
But It Hurts When Our Hearts Are Rejected
The Pain The Is Strained By Tenseness

 

Lord You Say They're Someone For Us
But I Don't Have Anything Good At All
When I Feel I Was Worthless
I Was Valued As Nothing As Important
But You Loved Me Like No Other

 

I Know Dreams Are Perceived  To Reach
But On The Way Towards Our Dreams
Sometimes We Find Better Ones Anyway
And When We Find Someone In Our Life
Dreams May Disperse Into Many Directions

 

When The Love We See In Someone
Causes Our Hearts Beat So Rapid
Could It Possibly Be Destiny
That The Lord Made This Person For Us

 

That Even Through Experiences We've Faced
Cause Us To Falter And Stumble To The Ground
Knowing The Mistakes We've Made
The Wrongs And Troubles Cause Us To Worry

 

Knowing Love Is So Fragile
But With The Lord On Our Side
Anything Is Possible Through Christ
Was I Trying To Find Happiness
Possibly In Someone Other Than Christ
Or Was I Trying To Fill It Common Issues

 

When We Face Rejection
Is Our Hearts Broken To Bits
Scarred By The Broken Pieces
The Pain Causes Us So Much To Forget

 

Cause Even If We Attempt To Fix It Up
Do We Pick It All Up By Ourselves
Torturing Our Hearts To Misery
That The Glass Cuts Our Skin Wide Open
It Hurts Like A Bleeding River

 

But If Love Is So Strong And Powerful
Why Does It Also Cause The Effect Of Pain
To Think It Was To Give And Take
Maybe The Friends We Made Through Childhood
Was Not Enough Affection To Our Hearts Attain

Love Was Made For You

Folder: 
People

Love Was Made For Free
Made Free To All
To Share And Give
To Take Or Receive
To Offer And Send

 

I Was Made To Love You
I Was Made To Give Freely
I Was Made To Share Generously

 

What Ever Happened To Hearts So Wide
To Hug Like No Love Could Ever Do
Setting You Free Everlasting Joy

 

To Be Shining So Bright
Flashy So Much Light
You Can't Even See Love
But There's No Need To See
You Feel It So Much
It's Everywhere
Here And There
It's All The Time

 

Love Was Made Here To Stay
Here For You Share With All
No Need To Hold Back
Nothing Held Against Anyone

 

Never To Late To Say No To Love Again
So Get Up Get Up It's Free From Me
You Can Steal My Heart
If You Hurt And You Can't Feel Love
Let Me Pray For You And Hug You
All I Want For You Is To Feel Loved
Cared For And Cherished Deeply

 

So Why Not Give Love A Try
If You're The First
Then It's Not My Last
It'll Spread Over The World
By The Clouds In The Sky
The Rhythm Of The Snow
The Softness Of The Dripping Rain
If It Hurts You So Much
Then Let Love Set You Free

Throw It All Out For You

Folder: 
Miracles

Why Are You Asking What I Came Here
Hope Just Broke Right Through The Door
Come On And Turn Out The Flame
I'm Not Just Some Person
Who's Just Here For Fame And Games
But The Glory Of The God

 

You Step In Play It For Fun And Games
You Make It Feel Likes Its Real For Right Now
But You're Just Here For The Misery
To Give The Hurt And Wounded
Lots Of Pain And Crying Sorrow

 

Because Words Are Weapon And A Disease
Throwing Pain Like Its Bullets Of Rain
I Know You Think Its Funny
Cause Of The Tears That Are Shed
But That's What You Want
You Don't Feel It At All
I Don't Know What You're Aiming For
But I Know You're Going To Throw It All Out

 

I Can't Back Down And Just Give Up
I All I Know Is I Can't Turn Back
Cause I Gotta Leave It In The Past
The Road I've Only Ever Known
Bring It Out And I'll Start Again
Drop Out With The Fears
And Start Breaking It Out With Tears

 

I Gotta Turn In My Sins
Cause I Know I'm Not Perfect
Christ Died In The Cross
For The Sake Of My Soul
To Cleanse The Impurity In Me

 

If I Ever Get Scared I'll Pray For It
If I Ever Get Worried
I Give All Of My Worries The Lord
Please Get Me Out Of The Mess
I Can't Do This On My Own Lord
You're The Only One I Could Ever Count On
Nor Any Friend Nor Family Or Any Human
Could I Possibly Count My Soul On

Resisted Afflicting Bitterness

Folder: 
Miracles

Will I Be Covered Up By The Remains
Being Thrown And Shattered All Around
You Left Me Here Like Pieces Broken Grass
Whats Left Behind Is A Hurting Wounds

 

You Took Me On A Ride
Just To Make The Pain Less Hurtful
I Can't Always See What You Mean
The Actions Of Underrated Meaning
I Should've Known Better
But If It Hurt You Far More Than Me
Who Would've Known Any More Than This

 

You Were Suppose To Be Coming Back To Me
Rinsing The Wounds And Erasing The Rain
Curing Far Better Than Any Measly Medication
Bleeding It Out You Couldn't Return The Favor

 

Can You Show Me The Path
Changed Me To Believe
Trying To Feel A Little Higher
Raged Fighting Looked Wiser
Crossing Hot As Fiery Incensed

 

You Keep Saying You'll Be Back
But Whats Here Is Increasing Pain
Increasing Pain Sweeping Away My Happiness
Standing Here All Alone
You Feel So Far Away
Is It Really That Meaningless
I Used To Feel You In The Air
But I Don't Know Anymore
You Used To See Me All The Time

 

I Lost Everything I Don't Have Anything
I'm Still Holding On
That's Why I Still Pray
You Say You Feel My Pain
But I'm Feeling Too Empty
I'm Losing So Much Of My Mind
All I Got Is The Faith Left In My Hands

 

I Was Told For Christ To Rule
All Of My Heart, Mind, Body, And Soul
Cause All I Got Is The Faith You've Given
There Was Isn't Much I Could Do
But I Can't See Outside Of This Fog
Through The Muddy Eyes I've Go

 

I Told Myself I Would've Give Up
But I Know I Really Can't Trust Myself
I Know I'm Not Fooling Anyone
Cause I Know My Pride Will Crush Myself
Christ Come Save Me Of All I've Done
I Don't Remember A Dime Before I Met You
Since I Was A Mess Before You
Thank The Lord God
Christ My Healing Savior

   

Insecure Heart Collides With Weary Faith

Folder: 
Miracles

Oh God I Haven't Felt You In Forever
I Know I'm Hurting So Much
I'm Caught In My Own Sorrow
I'm Sorry If I'm Not Strong Enough
Forgive Me Of My Bashfulness

 

I Wouldn't Trade A Moment With You
But I've Been Praying Like Crazy
Breathing Is So Exhausting
I'm Trying To Cry Out The Pain
But This Bitter Sorrow Is Causing My Skin Cold

 

You Just Gotta Know I'm Struggling
Jesus If It Weren't For You
Where Would I Be
I Was Lost In A Storm
Depression Was Cutting Into My Soul

 

I Can't Even Find The Words To Say
My Arms Are Tired As Broken Hearts
Wondering If You Hear My Words
Do You Feel My Heart
Even I Can't Feel You
I Just Can't Give Up

 

You Died For Me
There Aint Nothing To Compare With Pain
To This Amazing Grace You've Given Me
And You Waited For My Existence
I Know When I Woke Up Light
It Was Because Of You Christ

 

I'm Not Perfect
But Sometimes I Feel Worthless
Just Trying To Cover Up These Wounds
But There Must Be A Reason
Why I May Be Living This Way

 

Why Does It Feel So Hard
Sometimes I Just Want Collapse
And Fall Into Your Arms Jesus
This Exhausting Body Cries For You
These Tears Weep To Feel You

 

Sometimes I Complain
I'm Sorry I'm Not Patient Enough
I'm Tired And Weary Of Feeling Alone
I Know I'm Not Alone
But These Demons Keep Reminding Me

 

I Don't Know Which Way To Go
Why Do I Worry So Much
How Will I Be Able To Serve Others
When I Can Barely Take Care Of Myself
Jesus I Long To Be In Your Arms
I Wish For The Affection That I Lack
To Be Able To Spread The Love You Give
I Can't Compare This Comfort
The Safety You Provide For Me

 

I Feel So Invisible At Times
But I Know You're Here With Me
When I Can't Feel You're Here
I'm Desperate And Tempted To Give Up
Though My Insecurities May Control Me
The Salvation And Redemption You Gave To Me
I Can Never Forget The Feeling When You Saved Me

Failure in a glass

sad but true, shame on you... all has come unglued..

i'm swimming through this ocean, tide pulling me over & under, just to try & make it back, without blunder..

I'd rather dig a thousand pins into my skin, or burn a billion holes onto my back, then hurt you unintentionally..

can't you see, I'd much rather strike myself...

I don't want anyone to be an object of my pain..

so please refrain from stepping any further.. 

you don't know what goes on in my brain...

these chemicals are mine to control.

so stand back while I get a-hold..

 

ashes to ashes... everything collapses.. piece by piece, coming apart.

nothing ever felt right, from the very fucking start..

sometimes I cannot convey the thoughts in which my mind is stirring up,

or the feelings that cause my heart to silently bleed..

if only I had those wings, I would of flown away long ago..

& saved you from the inevitable hurt..

 

not being here.

sometimes I wonder if that's the only real dream in which i've truly conceived through out this life time..

nothing special, but it sure seems realistic..

she screamed at me, "it's all just a fantasy!" .. inside I went ballistic..

twisting & turning, face to the floor, squirming..

staring down at the shriveled remains of sanity... 

 

your eyes expell such melancholy.. do you see the same in me..?

am I just a tree for you to chop down..?

to carve your name in..?

to climb..? to rest up against..?

no longer will I walk along such a thin frail line..

no longer will I stand out of the shadows to be seen...

for these shadows are all that will vaguely cover me..

offering faint protection.. 

 

sometimes you can't avoid the rejections, the experiences, or the lessons..

when you drink that water, check the bottom to make sure it's clean..

though it may appear transparent & clear..

you could end up swallowing a ton of nails...

choking on how much you've failed..

shame on me, too.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

3.2.13

-sigh-