Your love was like a knife
Driven deep into my life
But when you took it away,
I wished it could stay
I tried to be a shadow, unnoticed and unseen
And when I saw you, I didn't think you were mean
The most beautiful boy I'd ever met
I loved it when you talked to me, and yet
I was scared at your house
When you stared at my blouse
When you smiled it didn't reach your eyes
And that's when I saw all your lies
So I ran to the razor to cut my wrists
Now I'm a name on your ex girls list
.....(photo is of the Havasu Falls in Havasu Canyon, Arizona,
deep within the crevices of the Earth, in the United States Of America)...
.....................
Watching it all drifting away,
I am frozen, remembering her pain.
The rapists had come and gone,
Taking her beloved twins into the darkness forever,
Cutting the hearts from the children that were left,
The dagger of death,
Forcing them to witness, over and over again,
As the helpless babes tumbled into the earth from whence they came.
Dust to ashes, …ashes to dust.
And the words drift across my mind illusively,
Like a hologram,
Escaping from the crevices where the meaning of it all resides…
….the place where real freedom truly abides.
.............
Copyright 2002
......................
families gather in a place of condemnation,
weary, excited, downtrodden, in a 'fair and equal' nation,
look foward to a day, when they see the face of a loved one,
behind a plexiglass window framed in steel, with the aura of being 'under a gun',
little ones elated, of the day they see daddy's face,
it matters not to them, they must be in this place,
just a look, a glimpse, of so much time lost,
and mothers, sisters and brothers, all pay the cost,
arrive at the gate, the car is searched,
and in the distance, the attack dogs, hungrily perched,
the car is dismantled, and questions of interrogation,
what are these pennies for? (i didn't know i needed a reason).
reaching the entryway, a small piece of material is given,
we ask, 'what is this for'? (no answer--excuse me for livin'),
one woman steps up to be searched for the visit,
"rub that piece of material across you breasts, ma'am", (what? this seems illicit!),
she complies, without complaint, because the kids want to see dad,
and now, she too, has been made to feel she is bad,
the other officers gawk, they seem to be enjoying this,
some even appear they'd love to give her a kiss,
little ones stare, they don't know of mama's shame,
mama says to them "oh honey, the nice man's just playing a game",
he takes the material, and places in a machine,
the drug test comes up negative, his face gets mean,
he tells her, "no, wait, miss!!! you can't go!" (it's like a threat),
"you must now rub it between your legs, we're not done with you yet!",
the woman looks at me, her face is beet red,
we all feel helpless, in shock, we can't believe what he said,
she takes the piece of material, and rubs it between her thighs,
he says "no not like that! higher!" (and this poor lady begins to cry),
he doesn't apologize, or have any sensitivity that what he's doing is rape,
his fears have swallowed him completely,
our mouths are agape,
we all go through this process, feeling so violated, and psychologically torn,
then we force the smiles on our faces, we can't complain or mourn,
and this is just one ingenious scheme, an obstacle, one tactic,
that divides families who have someone in prison--(yes, you're right, it's sick),
had i not seen it with my own eyes, how these innocent people were made to sob,
why on earth do they have these obstacles and these people in these jobs?
so the one time these people get to see their loved one in a year,
they go through the entire visit, feeling bad, ashamed, and in fear.
9:36 AM 7/12/2013 ©
...................
♥
you say you love your god
but you murder him every day
you rape him
you tear the fingernails off
his loving hands
one by one, like lashes to your own back
and you 'know not what you do'
and destroy what has been given
so freely, and so lovingly
with your blame
you say he lives
his spirit is alive
you say he was a man
like yourself and your brother
a man that walked this earth
making footprints in the sand
and then you glorify his very death
over and over and over again
for the sake of your own unaccountability
do you also remember others
passed on
in this way?
i love you
and sometimes love is painful
but love goes on
jesus died and for me
he rests in the same peace he
walked upon this earth
and his love
lives on in us all
love lives on
and on
and on
and on
my god is love
and i...love you
and that is how i share my god
4:18 PM 7/5/2013
©
............
♥
For what reason did you think you had the right?
I said no and fought with all my might.
You didn't listen, for you didn't really care.
You laced your fingers around the small of my back which was bare.
Then pushed yourslf into what could never belong to you..
Your grip was hard as you told me what to do.
The more I tried to resist, the more it hurt inside.
All that was left to do was to sit, and wait, and cry.
You pound my body and go deeper.
You had become my innocence reaper.
With every passing second the pain didnt go away..
The panting in my ears, you whispering for me to stay.
You took without remorse.
You gave me no choice.
I will never forget the pain I heard in your voice.
When you were finished you left me there alone.
You took the only thing I had left, and could ever call my own.
Wake Up! Wake UP! No more sleeping in bed
Little Peter is crying he needs to be fed
Angie is failing she can’t even read
This problem exists because she is poor- that’s what her teacher now believes
We are failing our children while we lie asleep
Our family structure is failing and is proven to be weak.
Wake Up! Wake Up! Mother while Peter is being raped
By the same man you love and claim it’s you that he dates
Wake! Wake Up! Dad your daughter is growing old
She needs a man in her life – so she sleeps with the addict who treats her cold…
Wake Up mom and dad no more thinking about you
But instead of our children whose thoughts are misconstrued
The alarm clock has gone off- No more sleeping in bed
Let’s save the children we have left
‘Cause half of our children are already dead.
Wake Up!!!!
I yawn and turn over in bed.
Can't sleep.
Again.
Downstairs the TV is on
And I can hear you calling names
Of players in your never-ending game.
You cheer and wake up my brother
But you don't realize it.
The TV is up too high.
So I stand to take care of the child
But he falls silent
So I return to bed
And pull the blanket up over my head
And curl into a tight ball
For protection from my dreams.
Your heavy footsteps outside of my door
Drag just enough to tell me you're sober
But not enough to tell me whether you
Plan to take my innocence again,
What's left of it, anyway.
Slight fluctuations in your breath that I
Pretend I can detect.
My mind flashes to the clock on the nightstand.
Red blinking numbers that tell the time
Reliably.
Readily.
I can feel the cold knife of air pass under the sheets
And back up to clip the back of my neck and intensify
My shaking, which was caused by you're presence in this room.
A thousand frozen needles cutting my flesh
As you pull back the red blanket and
Lie down without a word behind me.
For a moment you wait, calm fluttering in my chest turns to acid
Running through my lungs. Your hands are gentle at first, as they
Peel me out of my enclosed shape. You smile and leave saliva on my neck
As if I was your wife, and not your daughter . Am I your daughter? I might as well not be.
Lying in your arms I used to be safe, when I was small and would climb in beside you
After a nightmare, when the memory was fresh in my mind of being shot through the chest
And you would always hold me and tell me everything would be okay. Did you believe yourself?
Hands all over me, like raindrops or a shower running over my skin. You might as well be made of fire.
I can't help but feel like this s what I want. Can't help but feel like sex with you isn't that bad. Is it
Because I'm used to it? Used to you? I used to go somewhere else in my mind but now I
Stay here mentally with you as you find what you were looking for between my legs
And move your hands back and forth over it, preparing me for what you'll do.
I can't do anything but stare at the clock and be glad it'll all be over soon.
You line yourself up with me and it doesn't hurt anymore, I just feel
A slight pressure as you press your hands to my hips to hold me
Steady. Your body rocks sideways, I'm amazed you can do
This in such an odd position. Usually we've flipped by
Now. Now? Now you swallow hard and I can feel
Saliva running down your throat and my neck
And other fluids running from lower places
Onto the sheet; it'll stain slightly lighter
Than the blanket originally was....
You grunt and moan as you hit the brink of
Your moment in the sun, and as you step away
There's a glow coming from your body. Leftover
From when you finished your task.
You leave me to clean up,
To pass out even though I'm
Covered in both of our sweat and
Saliva and blood from where you bit me,
Semi-white liquid left for me to dispose of.
But I don't clean up.
I'm too exhausted.
I can't move, really.
As I catch my breath,
Exhaustion
Puts
Me
To
S
L
E
E
P
.
original poem by: Katie Menzies
(c) 2011-ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
That’s the dash,
That dashed that day,
That that dude dowsed Dan.
Dan, dazed, dove deep down;
Down that dam that drank deaths.
That dash did daze those days,
Those days that those Danes died.
Those Danes’d dug deep down,
Down that deep damsel’s ditch,
Doing those deals that dazed them.
That ditch doubled her dam,
Double-double, drilling did them dull.
Duck deal doled deep down…
Damsels doled dick’s doze,
Dan’s dudes drilled deep down,
Doubling that dash did them dull,
Dane death those dudes thought;
But French death Dan’s dudes done.