The Artisan's Throne

I think that just beyond the deepest point

Our souls can reach, 

There lies the place where 

Our children wait to incarnate,


And in the darkness, 


Actuated through voluminous walls of air,

Gravity sucks them into it's vacuum,

They enter into slimy saturation, 

And flesh and bone begins 

To imbue their being.


They permeate this budding existence 

Without defense, or knowledge,

Propelled by the force they left, 

Where they circled in space,

For thousands of Earth years.


Now a human, living love essence,

Bound to slice the charred debris

Of our sometimes too well thought out plans,

A step ahead of us they plow their way

To mold us, sometimes scold us, 

Scar and control us.


As they journey to become born, 

While seeds of this innate knowing

Burrow deep within their subconscious,

Our eyes, gazing upon the miracle of birth itself,

Project us into blissful delight at their presence,


Comforting us as we spar with the hand of mortality,


Reminding us in our deepest repression,

The space from which we came,

Taunting our moment of utter euphoria,

A subtle elusive gnawing query, 

Starved, by and through our own ignorance 

And trepidation of who we are.


So our retort to this vexatious notion 

Becomes an obsessive adoration 

Of these fleshy creations which do not even belong to us,


They are the squires of our purpose,


Like projectile bits of sawdust and splintered wood

From a carpenter's saw,

Remnants of the artisan's aspirations,

And humanity's desperation to fullfill the promise of 

A life well lived.


I used to love to watch my grandfather in his basement,

Carving fine artistry from rough edged pieces of wood,

As I rocked in the small rocking chair he made for myself,

My siblings and cousins, each taking our turns,

At the artisan's throne.





1:47 AM 6/25/2013 © 






Author's Notes/Comments: 

A human experience

I Die - February 15, 2012

I'm drowning in this ocean of pain,

And burning in this acid rain.

I'm falling through memories;

Slowly killing me, is this disease.


Every night I try to change,

What thoughts run through my head.

But I cannot help,

To what events this may have lead.


It kills me every time,

I have to say goodbye,

To the times with no pain;

No suffering in vain.


I die from bleeding inside,

The blood pours on the floor.

I die from fatal suicide,

I couldn't take it anymore.


I took a kitchen knife,

Or a razor and a lighter.

I ended my life;

I was never any fighter.


I've given up on life,

I've given up on me.

I've given up on everything;

Said it cannot be.


I've ended my being,

All so you could be free.

I want you to see,

As I end all of me.


Now that I'm no more,

My corpse lies on the floor.

Now that I never speak again,

Will you have the strength I never gained?


My end, though,

Was a group contribution.

It was thanks to me, and to them,

That led to my execution.


Our hearts, our love, it never bends,

But this is how my story ends.

I understand if you cried,

If you hurt when I died.


But listen to me now,

You still have time,

Before the pain overcomes

Your whole being, like mine.


Run away from it all,

Run away from your past.

I may be dead,

But you will still last.


Everything will be all right,

I promise you that, dear.

I'll be in your heart every night;

My spirit will lay near.


For the rest of your life,

For the rest of forever,

I can't ever let you forget,

When we were together.


Every once in a while,

Will you think of me?

The memories will last,

They will always be.


It was not at all your fault,

That I don't live anymore.

I was my own and others;

You I'll always adore.


Many years will have passed,

And I will be forgot.

You'll live a better life,

Now that I've died and rot.

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Just poems

Take my hand when my eyes weep,
hold me gently in your arms.
Stroke my hair while I sleep,
capture me with your charms.
Provide to me time and space,
listen closely as I speak.
Secure in your life, my place,
support me the times I am weak.
Cherish all our time together,
appreciate times we're apart.
Mean it when you say forever,
let my absence gnaw at your heart.
Celebrate my joys with me,
feel my sorrows, as well.
Be the pages of my diary,
know my secrets, but never tell.
And I beg you we seldom fight,
let our differences exist in peace.
With a kiss for every goodnight,
let our passions never cease.
But above all these, my love,
swear that you'll always be true.
And it's not you I ask these of~
they are my promises to you....

Author's Notes/Comments: 

feeling all lovey dovey (=

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The Real You

My Love

Promise me you'll never change
Never disguise who you are
Don't pretend to be someone you're not
Always be yourself
Because I want you to be happy
I want to know the real you

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I promise, i swear

My heart hurts every day for you.
I love you, i need you, there's nothing i can do.

But soon the tears will stop and i'll be okay.
I get restless waiting more and more every day.

I promise you you'll miss me when i'm gone,
I'll play over and over in your head like a catchy love song.

You'll remember how great i was to you,
You'll think, 'Fuck, what did i do?'

Come on, try to find someone that loves you as much as me.
Go on, i dare you, this i'll love to see.

We may fight and i may bitch,
Sometimes even more than a lot.

But dammit, i swear,
That doesn't mean i don't love you with everything i've got.

So go ahead, go love her if you want.
But when some guy makes me happy,
I swear your dreams it'll haunt.

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sitting on your perch

Unburried roots

saw you watching me 

from your safe little perch 
outside my window
I know what you are doing
you haven't fully let me go
I see you out there feasting
on my despondency
watching as I wallow
drowned in my own tears
I wish you would come closer
say you want me near
wish I could amend this now
wanting to be clear
you feed me lines 
you suck me in
my heart goes out
you won't let me in
I never meant to hurt you
you took me the wrong way
always I've admired you
I only wanted to play
but playtime turned into a fight
I never wanted to incite
now I grieve and mourn the loss
self created muck and dross
I watch you sitting on your perch
as you leave me in the lurch
admiring how you play your game
wishing I could do the same
I miss you and your musing heart
wish that I could still take part
hoping you'll come back to me
I write this now informal plea
I feel your hate, I can relate
you made me see I did create
this chasm that's between us now
I want to fill but don't know how
will you help me find my way?
is there anyway I can repay?
I want to re-earn your respect
find a way to reconnect
you did not deserve my wrath
I now follow a different path
please forgive me of my sins
meet me where the path begins
leave what's happened in the past
no need now to feel aghast
tell me now what I must do
for you to trust I'm being true
a piece of me just died last week 
a part of me that's proven bleak
I've entered back into the light
I promise now to be forthright
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Volume One






I will push you away,

Scared to death of what you might say

afraid of what lurks inside my mind

like a bad dream, it always follows close behind



"I would promise you the world, but it would be a lie

for my heart now; could never reach that high”



I cried myself to sleep tonight

by this lonely candle light

I cut myself to drown out the pain

but it all hurts just the same

my emotions so unstable

loving, hurting and so unable



"I would promise you anything,

Just so as long as my heart could take it

but this is the closest to love as I will ever get"



I hope this is enough

deep down you make me happy

because I would promise you






Author's Notes/Comments: 

(Updated; From Psycho- Confessions)

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