I always knew that there was something odd,
Something off, but brushed it away.
Now that everything's clear of the misty fog,
My feelings are no longer astray.
I still feel the same, though,
But just a little weirded out.
And even though it's been awhile ago,
I'm not filled with doubt.
It was really shocking,
but I kind of expected it.
It explains everything,
And yes, I even choked a bit.
It was hard not to,
seeing as I adored you.
I always thought that you were who you were,
But I'd still be your admirer.
It's not that bad,
It was just a little strange.
The truth is just a little bit hard to stomach,
A little bit out of range.
It doesn't change anything,
although it might feel a little awkward,
It will take awhile to let this sink in,
Because it's still a little disappointing.
~
By: RaiLiet_lurvs_BL
He's walking.
I recognize
His hair.
My heart starts pounding.
It won't calm down
Even though he's
Already passed by.
I'm frustrated.
Keep my mind off guys.
Focus on myself.
I can do this.
My ass.
I'm awestruck
By his beauty.
His young, handsome face.
His undeniable voice.
Were he to let me,
I'd melt in his arms.
The only thing separating us
Is age and a piece of steel.
One thought…
sought over for what seems eternal
flourished raised in ways so maternal
it grows.
At incredible velocity,
thrusts through the open area contemplating some philosophy
that seems too complex to be done within the hour
the thought that grows with incredible power
keeps mind and soul awake for hours at a time.
A thought so vast and great a thought so sublime.
Creates confusion and frustration and in some ways it's an addiction
though the thought expands causing incredible affliction
its a battle between thoughts political positions, religious stances
as the copious thoughts dance to the music which so enhances.
The feeling
of the thought
fills me with
fortitude
and the thought continues to grow with greater magnitude
until a small moment of peace, composure and silence
till the thought erupts once more with incredible haste
and it stems out in directions with a manner so violent
until it quiets down... and a new seed is placed
and once more begins the process a new thought is revealed
and once more the solemn contention on the lonely mind field
I ain't never felt like this
It wasn't suppose to end like this
You was my queen, u said I was ur first kiss
But time changes all, and I'm still waiting for ya call.
Pride made u leave, when i hoped for u to stay. Too many tricks up ya sleve, too many demons to pray.
I miss the lipstick on my collar, ya purfume on my sheets. I would make u holla, then u would hit the streets.
I would follow u down the avenue
Searching for that revenue, you did something I would never do, so i had to get rid of you.
I just wanted us to be together but you ruined our plans
Now they will never get clean to much blood on my hands
So now you lay where the sun will never show. It was just too hard for me to let u go.
I got a sick and twisted mind
I got this need, this obsession
So strong I’m filled with extreme aggression
I want you there's no doubt
I need you so bad it destroys me
When ur gone I can't think right I can't feel right
I'm empty and cold
No heart in sight
It's not natural this obsession
It's unhealthy I need an escape
Even If there was one it's not the route I wanna take
Your my everything and I need you now more than ever
I've never needed anything more in my life
I want us to be together
You are my life, my heart, my soul
Yet I push you away with my anger
You are the one person who makes me feel whole
Like I could never be in danger
You are my everything
My one extreme obsession
I didn’t expect to become a fiend
But I do have one confession
I need help
I know it's the truth
But there is none for me
I'm all alone, with my dark thoughts and dreams
I'm just waiting for the end to come
so I can be free
Of my sick twisted mind and this obsession you've become
And finally be the real me
His scent,
The feel of his arms wrapped around me—
As I sink deeper into the curve of his body.
So comfortable, am I,
That I never want to leave.
The minutes tick by,
As I watch the clock—
Three hours until we need to be up,
So he can drive me to my car.
We’re still curled up together.
He turns the other way,
With his back to me.
I turn that way too;
He backs into me,
Takes my arm,
And wraps it around him.
He nestles into my body,
His fingers intertwined with mine.
I can feel him throbbing into me,
As he spoons me once again.
If only I had the nerve to turn around,
And kiss him.
I do turn around,
And put my arms around him,
He does the same to me.
He rubs his nose with mine
And we giggle.
I don’t sleep with him that morning—
I want to, but I don’t.
It’s now 10 A.M. and we’re still lying in bed.
I know if I get up,
It ends—
It will never happen again.
I have to settle for what I have.
We both get up,
And he changes.
I see every ripple of the muscles in his back,
Chest,
And arms.
I wish I could see more,
But I won’t.
It’s time to leave.
We clamber into his Rodeo;
There are empty bags all over the floor.
I thought my car was bad.
I remember commenting on it the night before,
When we got into his vehicle.
My head is pounding,
But I know I have to see my brothers today.
It’s my duty as an older sister.
We part,
Without a kiss,
Without even a hug.
This is the last of the intimacy.
I will miss it.
I’m obsessed with just a taste of heaven
I want him more than anything
From the feel of his arms,
And his breath on the back of my neck.
I could curl into the curve of his body,
And hide away there for eternity;
Never to see daylight again.
To feel the security,
And his fingers intertwined with mine;
The way he nibbles on my ear,
Sends chills and thoughts ablaze.
Comfort me, sweet nothing;
Lay upon me, his presence;
And never steal him away.
Keep his memory fresh with me,
And never let him slip my.
The polar bear, the polar bear
He has a handsome coat to wear.
But, while it's thick and warm and white,
He has to wear it day and night.
And when the summer comes, poor brute,
He wears it for his swimming suit.
Although his coat is thought so fine,
I'm very glad that it's not mine.
The polar bear by being white
Gives up his camouflage at night.
And yet, without a thought or care,
He wanders here, meanders there,
And gaily treads the icy floes
Completely unconcerned with foes.
For after dark nobody dares
To set out after polar bears.