me

Self Reflections - a poem collection by CM

Me

Spider webs of deceit
A shattered mirror
Lays on the floor
Millions of reflections
Each one a copy
All of them a lie
Judgments made
By an invisible jury
The verdict comes in
Before a statement can be made
In self-defense
Can you fine me
Beneath all the artwork?
Can you fine me
Beneath all the poems?
Can you find me
Beneath all the facades?
Can you find me
At all?
You see a million reflections
In the mirror
That was shattered
In anger
Shattered with bare hands
Broken like my dreams
Broken like my body
Broken and buried
Six feet under
Only to keep things quiet
To make sure
The lies still exist
Can you find me
Beneath all the spider webs?
Can you find me
Buried underneath all the blocks?
Can you find me
Buried in this wooden box?
Can you find me
Behind the mirror?
Looking in on someone
I once knew

-

Nothing

Nothing holds for more
Than a moment
Constantly churning
The quiet noise
Walking along the shoreline
I almost forget
It’s there
I almost forget
Why
I’m here
The breaking waves lap
At my toes
I feel at peace
Centered
I can continue on
Again

-

Does it make a sound?

And sometimes we fall into ourselves
It doesn’t happen suddenly
The walls that are our defenses
Crumble inward
And sometimes silently we fall
Trapped within our own defenses
Unable to get out
And sometimes we breathe
And it hurts
For no apparent reason
Other than in our own minds
And sometimes we’re rescued
Before it happens
But sometimes we fall
Like a tree in the woods
When no one is around

-

Tainted Canvas
He greets me
With the same sly grin
I know his intentions well
Letting him play
The game
He thinks he knows
Letting him assume
Letting him believe
That he is the only
(he is for the moment)
My conscious tugs at me
Wanting me to tell
The ugliness that is my truth
Beneath the beautiful lies
I know it would hurt him
To know
I know it would kill him
Inside
So I let him believe
I let him run
With my beautiful lies

-

Jumbled Thoughts

Just breath
Feel the sand between your toes
Breathe in the air
Watch the sunrise/set
Watch the cars drive by
This is not the last
But watch as if it were
Soon it will be the last
The ocean will no longer crash
In the distance
Instead the peacefulness
Will be replaced by
Cars packed onto streets
Like sardines
The quietness comes
Driving down the canopied roads
That are quietly disappearing
As the bull dozers make room
For the next housing project
I will miss the sunrise/set
On the gulf
I will miss the sand
Between my toes
Trading my sandals, shorts and shirt
For something else entirely
Just breathe for now
It’ll seems too overwhelming
Otherwise

-

Cat-like State

Attitude
Yes I’m giving it
Because what’s what I’m getting
If you don’t want it
Then go away

-

Clam

You withdraw
So violently
You’re like a claim
When things
Aren’t going your way
When sand rubs
Against your shell
You collapse
Into your own
Little world
It’s a shame
You don’t open up
And let the
Sand in
You could possibly
Make a pearl
Something beautiful
Coming from you
Heaven forbid
You’ld let
Anything
In

-

Reminders

You will never
Be like the others
Pretty and well-liked
Your scars
Will never
Fully heal
They run too deep
And everyone can see
You’re only fooling
Yourself

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was the hardest collection to put together because not only is it more personal than the rest of the poems, but there was a lot to go through. There are a few poems raw with emotions and others more peaceful, but I wanted them together to create the different sides of me, sometimes angry, sometimes peaceful and other times reflective. Comments are welcome as always.

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i'm lost

want to feel myself
want to know myself
Or its like i lost in myself
want it back
what i don't know
maybe my soul
which is act like a stone
cause it is not here anymore

I'm totally lost
in the bright sunshine
everything pass consume
in a burning fire
theres nothing left behind
only left ash behind

I don't know
where are my mind
where i can only feel attraction
here i can only feel distraction
where i can only smell reaction
here i can only smell wrong reaction

i'm lost
somewhere, in any place
want to feel myself
want to know myself
somewhere, in any place

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this poem is about me

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tags:

If You Only Knew Me

If You Only Knew Me

 

I'm not an athlete, and I'm not a genius.

I'm not a guy who finds it easy to trust,

but if you take the time to figure it out I think you'll find that my love

is like no other...

 

I can't run five miles straight,

but Im not a man who likes to run away.

I can't believe...in something I don't see,

but I don't always look with the eyes on my face...

 

If you only knew me then you'd see

just what kind of man that I can be.

If you just take the time then you will find

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a work in progress...