jealousy

"Just A Girl"

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Hmm..I wonder...?

I think I saw you before,

At least you look just like her

I would tell you more,

But the memory just hurts.

I remember this moment,

As it's happend before

Thought it was heaven sent,

But I see now it's more.

An over reactor,

"Just a girl," they reply

But then add in the factor,

That silence is his lie.

Now you give me access

Now you give a thought

Whatever the moment passes

Leaves my insides in knots.

"Let it go," says her body,

Though she's been here before

And knows what step is next

And she knows what's in store.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

"Oh damn these psychic powers!" she mocks.
Ever see something coming, and they laugh at you for thinking it?

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She's what

She's what laughs at all his jokes.

She's what makes him smile.

She's what gives him faith and hope.

He praises her like an Idol.



She's what makes everything for him ideal.

She's what taught a man to feel.

She's everything that a man could want in life.

She would make the perfect wife.



She's the soul that he lost, then found.

She's the girl that picked him off the ground.



She is his prize possesion,

and it cuts through me like a knife.

She is what he obsesses.

She is his guiding light.



I guess they're meant to be.

She was there when we fell apart.

She's what took him away from me.

She has stolen his heart.



She's what dreams are made of,

and he swears she came from above.

I'd give anything to be her again.

For he, has fallen in love.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is about a girl who went out with my man right after we broke up.

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Why Am I?

Why am I the window?

the one that you look through?

to the girl whos beautiful

who doesn't look at you



Why am I the wall?  

That stands in the way

of seeng that beautiful girl

while you think of what to say?



Why am I the extra?

in the movie of your mind

while the beautiful main character

is there for you to find?



Why am I not noticed?

as you walk by?

If she doesnt want you

why do you even try?



Why am I judging you?

having no room to speak

because while she doesnt see you

and your the one I seek

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THE GREEN EYED MONSTER

Oh my GOD,look out,it's the green eyed monster again.

Run,hurry,be quick,it's trying to suck all the power from your brain.

Oh dear, what can we do? I don't know if I can get away fast enough.

It is chasing me, the monster wants to steal all of our stuff.



Have you ever seen this green eyed monster up close before?

If you look close you will see from the boat a missing oar.

Don't you think it is sad to go through life this sad and alone?

We could hear the cries for help better if it would only use a megaphone.



I am glad that I don't have to act the way the green eyed monster acts.

Striking out in anger, seeing through eyes covered with cataracts.

If there was any one thing I could do to help, I wish it would articulate.

Maybe then the green eyed monster would find me more affectionate.




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"Empty"

by Jeph Johnson

 

I found out at work today
from her best friend, through the vine...
They've eloped- have it all together
and she sure is doin' fine.
He's got some family down south of the border
that speak a different language than me,
Might be movin' there in a while now,
when the both of them can agree.
Guess they communicate with gestures;
she smiles big and he looks tough.
He's got a good job in construction,
likes her kids and that's enough.
Oh, I'm sure that he does love her,
for she's loveable as can be,
I just know he can never give her
the same amount as me.
For I've exhausted my endearments,
vanquished my charity
and emptied the love I had saved for her
from my heart's capacity

Author's Notes/Comments: 

for Teresa, circa 1999 

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"It Could Have Been Me"

by Jeph Johnson

 

Last night through the fence
I heard your secret conference
I felt you hold him close and tight
And tasted you kiss him good night
I know they say it could have been me...
Like yesterday walking the beach
When your stroll on the seaside
Evenly paced my every stride
And when cold waves met both your knees
Mine were the ones feeling the freeze
I know they say it could have been me...
Like today under the tree
When your whispers in his ear
Were deafening shouts that I could hear
And your stares into his eyes
Blinded me with such surprise
I know they say it could have been me...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

circa 1986

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"Did He?"

by Jeph Johnson

 

Did his voice make you wet?
Did his look drive you wild with excitement?
Did your body dance in unison with his?
Did he finally make a cold woman warm?
Tell me, did he buy you a drink?
Did you sip it slow or down it quickly?
Did you refuse to leave...
His place or yours?
It's hard to believe...
Was his hold on you too strong?
Or was his touch just never wrong?
I need to know because I care.
I must tell you he's nowhere.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

circa 2000 

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"Envy"

by Jeph Johnson

 

My beard has been through six 5 o'clocks.
The muscles I use to smile are broken.
The turtledoves and nightingales
hide from the starlings, crows and ravens
that pick through the garbage
outside the dumpster
I call the view away from you.
When you were mine, my beard was trimmed
and the muscles in my face ached
from the smiling kisses
I gave your soft lips.
All sorts of beautiful birds
sang in the trees.
Now you kiss him...
Yes, trees grew above;
Above me green leaves.
Now the only green is envy.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

for Teresa, 1998

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"Another Man's Prose"

by Jeph Johnson


I keep busy writing

scribbling down anything
that comes to mind
hoping she looks towards me
to notice me ignoring her

 

she speaks:

"passionate"
she calls it
"his poetry"

 

but she's speaking of another man's prose
for she hasn't ever read my words
(at least not)
in the order I set them down

 

I've no doubt she's read them
re-arranged by another man's pen

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2001

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