insane

What The Hell Am I Doing?

Everyday the same
Hypocritical shame
Reveling in pain
Spiritually insane

Saying one thing, doing another
Not being the man, student, brother
That I should be for each other
Because there won't be another

So confused
MY grace abused

All I know is: If I choose life
Then what the Hell am I doing?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just something short that came to mind one day... Hope you enjoy the randomness of it... I'm still not sure

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The Phantom

Folder: 
Love

It’s always there, watching me
I have nowhere to turn
Nowhere to hide
It’s always within sight
And when I think I’m alone
There it is in front of me
I cannot get away
Always chasing after me
I think I may go insane
It’s around every corner
Always on the horizon
Always out of reach
Why can’t I lose it?
Why can’t it leave me alone?
The shadows close in
My mind sways like the wind in the trees
A cold wind; deathly cold
Lives lost
What could’ve been
What has been
What will become
Why does it follow me so?
It’s a shadow, sticking closer than my clothes
Setting my teeth on ice
Putting out any flicker of life
What is this phantom you say?
Not what, but a remembrance of who
Here is a mirror, see your own face.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This just came into my mind after hearing the Phantom of the Opera.... kind of a weird twist on it's idea, where the real ghost is the Phantom's remembrances of Christine. Hope you enjoy and don't forget to comment!

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Inside

Gut wrenching, bloodcurdling,
Heart pounding, can't breathe.
A vice, it closes
Tighter, tighter
Round my
Throat
Lungs
Heart
Soul
Pain, pain
Like a torch in my stomach,
A fire in my veins,
An earthquake in my chest.
Whispering, hush hush,
Don't tell her,
She's a freak,
Quiet.
Screaming,
Wailing, in my head,
Voices that tell me...
I'm better off dead.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Thoughts/Comments appreciated.

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It's Just One Of Those Days

 

 

I cannot make the words come out.

I cannot translate these thoughts into a language that

anyone can understand.

Living in my head is a heaven in hell;

the one place I can't escape,

the one thing I can't hide from.

I feel like I'm trapped in this body and limited,

when I (we) just want to break out

and be set free..

It's a constant mosh pit of emotions,

rubbing and smashing into one another.

If I'm not, then there is always someone thinking in my head.

Always functioning...

Always wondering...

Always dreaming...

Always screaming...

Always begging me for my attention...

Always dragging me into its colorful pit of bittersweet confusion..

A whirlwind of insecurity,

A storm of questions,

    A yearning to know why...

Why can I not answer these questions based upon myself that I of all

people should know...

They say that no one can know you better than yourself..

But that's hard when you are more than one..

When "yourself" consists of many pieces to a puzzle that do not fit each other..

Thus, being because these pieces do not belong to one individual puzzle,

But to many individual puzzles with their own unique pictures, pieces, and thoughts..

When will all the pieces fit?

Do I really want to solve this puzzle?

Will I ever?

Or am I destined to remain scattered, unsolved, and abstract?

 

 

 

 

 

© Rachel Aleta Livingston

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(A Note from the Author, Rachel Aleta Livingston: I have to say that this "Word Of Art" is by far the most Meaningful Work of Art that I have ever Written. "It's Just One Of Those Days" is the most Personal, Deepest, Beautiful, and Meaningful "Words Of Art" that has ever come to me from Deep Inside of my Innermost Feelings, Thoughts,and Consciousness. This is my most Cherished Work of Art... Thanks for Reading...)

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My personal insanity

Insanity from pain,
Yeah, I know im so vain.
Its only for the fame.
If its not then its lame.
Not using my brain.
My life will never be the same

Author's Notes/Comments: 

listening to lady gaga

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Loony Bin

Folder: 
2010

If asked a year ago

What I’d be doing today

I would have said anything

But sitting around

And gathering dust

 

I have no boyfriend

I don’t have anyone

To talk to and I am

Slowly but surely

Going quite fucking mad

 

If this keeps happening

I’ll just sit around

Babbling my lips and

Looking for help in

A loony bin

 

~Chrystal

Written on

May 15, 2010

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was how i was feeling eight months after I woke up. And I am still feeling that way, even after being awake for a year and a half. I suppose I'll always feel this way, unless my life takes a dramatic turn around. 

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When Nothing Makes Sense

The sky fell today,
The clouds bled and dripped,
The sun cracked in half.

The darkness got me,
The terror struck me.
But I don't know what's going on.

Writing between the lines.
I'm not making any sense,
Or am I?
Speaking in the language of silence,
Reading minds, not lips.
The angels chase me,
The demons save me,
I just can't get to the big picture.

The world snapped like a twig today,
Cracked like an egg,
Ate me whole.
And I still can't make sense of the words I wrote down.
When the point is hidden,
When the story don't make no sense,
You have to write between the lines.
Write the story
As you would tell it.

We're all mad.
Everything's insane.
Repetitive.
Just the same thing
Over
And over
And over.
And I still can't make this poem make sense.
Maybe I just need,
To write what isn't in my head,
To read what I can't find.
To write
For the sake of writing.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Please ignore the fact that all the letters at the start of each line are capitalized, my computer was doing that for some reason and I couldn't shut it off.