I am a shadow, long gone
I am forgotten, disappointments spawn
I am the weeping, in nights silent hour
From society, who savors the sour
I am the dark, stuck within my fears
I am denied, to them and all who hears
I was a dreamer, now hiding within my sleep
From the all of the promises that I can not keep
I am a shadow, long gone
I loved, and I loved you well.
Even after you challenge me hell
I remember, she parted us, you and I
She kissed your cracks, promising you lies
She left you broken, by the dead
But me, I wanted you by my side, to cherish instead
~~~
the glistening dew upon
the petals of a rose,
and the
mourning sun
<¤>
the caustic yet subtle pungency
of sandalwood twirling past my nares
and
the forest leaves underfoot
<¤>
a newborn baby's wail
and walls
and walls
of silence
layers
and layers
of denial
and
shame inflicted
love constricted
*
tightly wound
to cover the
pain of the past
ironically
making it last
<¤>
now,
here
i
sit
with dimestore favorites in an old shoebox
my kept treasures
after your funeral
and memories that you left
it feels so senseless
bereft
<¤>
your burning passion
LOVE
LOVE
love of country
that was
that gaping bore,
carved into the very core of your soul...
...from war
<¤>
the depth of compassion in the heart
of a nine year old
waking in the night
to the sound of
weeping
¤
sneaking down the stairs
peering through the railing
the clenched fists pressed tightly to eyes
desperation overflowing
overwhelming feelings
of sorrow
of shame
of anger
of helplessness
*
torment
*
teardrops
that brandished holes
upon my heart
to watch you
hide your turmoil
in the darkness of the night
...alone
¥
and now
you are gone
.:-'*'-:.
you never knew...
I saw!
you never knew
I felt it too!
~~~~
She saw his arrow pointed directly at her heart.
Teasing, she ran with a serpentine start.
Then she darted off through the woods.
Leaving a trail behind as she moved.
He followed her scent when her trail disappeared.
She was hard to find. He lost her, he feared.
But then she rustled within the brush.
He picked up his arrow and aimed with a hush.
She stayed still. Not a movement was seen.
And he, moved slowly, surveying the scene.
As soon as she thought it was safe to run.
She darted off toward the blinding sun.
Poems hide inside.
There are ones I may not find.
Ones I may not mind.
And ones I must deny.
Ones may be mundane,
and ones be profane.
Some may be plain.
Some may be from pain.
But some I must restrain.
mask cracked.. tear spills out.
sudden shock as world turns real..
flash as wave of substance washes out..
echo as awareness of reality bounces back..
reminds me that you are leaving me..
hearts once met paths now taken in other directions
still a friend to me..
memory carried
coloring everyday
with lessons learned from
our meeting and divide..
mask carried to speak to a blind world
cracks as shape of society
falls away in the dust..
only my own voice to
be spoken
only own actions to be
carried out..
hands await the embrace
of a body
they are already destined to touch..
but today
i watch mask crack
and fall away
Get out
I dont want You
I dont need you
Youve messed my head
one to meny times
Over and over You break my trust
and you you have done the worst
best friend lost
i want you gone
out of my life forever
youve interfered with my realationship
drove me to a point of no return
your evil soul should banish to hell
ur heart should sink
ur body shall crumble
you dont deserve ur place in my life
you dont even deserve her
thats right you dont deserve
deserve nothing
not even your life
Isn't it strange
That people think
That they can hide
If they close their eyes?
Somewhere in the deepest
Darkest parts of me
There resides a well
I tried to board it up so no one could see
All of my feelings, my eternal hell
Everything I feel becomes hidden there
Not to ever be felt again
Yet every time I think I’m fine
The trouble always does begin
And I find myself crossing a line
I have crossed many lines
Burnt so many bridges
So now I am lost in my own confusion
All in the maze of a heart within
That I know I am losing
~Chrystal
Written on
July 4, 2002
Face covered by mask
You cannot see me
For that is the way
I wish it to be
We all dance
‘Round and ‘round again
We do what we do
And wallow in our sin
Always with faces covered
As we dance at life’s ball
Were we all play
And chance the fall
Shrouded in lies
As we play our part
Leaving to chance
A broken heart
Not trusting to lose
Our personal space
We timidly remove our mask
And show our face
~Chrystal Swallows
Written on
September 27, 2004