her

Elara

It's not my place to tell the stars
their order's out of line.
Nor, tell them which direction
I think they ought to shine.

It's not for me to scorn the moon,
when she hides herself away.
Nor, direct her to the water
and tell her how to sway.

The sun of course, can't hear me say,
that every morning, every ray,
his light's too bright and scares away,
my shadow buddies, kept at bay.

My voice can't carry all that far,
to travel space and time to stars.
My voice of course, it knows it's part,
to whisper to your heart.

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Who’s It Going To Be?

Folder: 
2011

Now it has come down to the time
Yes, its time to decide, her or me
Your fuck buddy
Or the one that you say you love

I suppose you’ll pick her
But I need to hear that from you
I have never deemed myself
That good looking

But I saw a picture of her
And I have to say,
At least I don’t look like
A man cross dressing

So tonight, I am going to
Sit down and cry, so very hard
Get it all out of my system
So I wont have any tears left

Yes, I want it all out
So I can’t cry over you
Because that is the last
Thing I want to do

Show you any weakness
Even though my heart
Will tear in two when I hear
That you are leaving me for her

You don’t have to know that
Just like you wont know that
I have cried nearly everyday
Since you told me about her

I stuck my heart high up
On a shelf, to be forgotten about
Because I knew this would happen
I just knew that you’d leave me for her

~Chrystal
Written on
October 27, 2011

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I did see a picture the other day of her. Yes, she does look like a cross dressing man. So that made me feel better about Tom, about our relatsonship. Today however, filled me with a mixture of emotions. While I found her picture today, I also had the chance to talk to him in almost a week, but the depresssing thing was, he was going out with her to get drunk. No big deal however. I will get the chance to talk to him and when I do, everything will change. I hope it goes my way, but I have always had a very depressed outlook on life, so I know it wont. We will see however.

Your Toy

Folder: 
2011

Did you know that I am so
Very sorry that we met,
I wouldn’t have a thing that
I was addicted to,

But I did, do I want a change?
I think not; I wouldn’t want
It any way than it is already
Because I just love you

The way you are
I wouldn’t change anything
About you or the situation
We are currently in

That is how much I love you
Letting you keep her as a ‘toy’
Because you seem to want that
So that you will have

I wont let you know how much
This hurts me, cant you see it,
Right behind this fake ass smile
You want her, so you shall have her

But I cannot have it where
You leave me for her I just cannot
It would be like Gallagher
Smashing a watermelon

But instead of a watermelon
It will be my heart
Shattered into so many pieces
And I’ll just leave them

Exactly where they lay
So every time you come around
(Will you come around?)
You will see the hurt and pain

But that time isn’t now
For now I will have you
Right when I can have you
And we won’t even talk about her

~Chrystal
Written on
October 16, 2011

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written about Tom ___. I know I have yet to post his last name because of her. There will probably end up being a time when I go back and edit these poems, but for now I'll just leave it be.

Tell Me

Tell me what she is that i'm not.
Tell me what she does that i don't.

But if you give me a list and tell me to change,
I promise you baby, i won't.

Does she make you smile more than i do?
Does she make you laugh when you wanna cry?

I thought i did all of those things,
I thought we were on the same high.

Are you just mesmorized by her kiss?
And electrified by her touch?

I just wanna know, what you love about her,
And why i'm never enough.

I give you everything i can,
I give you every piece of me.

But i guess loving you, and you not loving me, has made me see,
That love has absolutely no guarantees.

I thought i knew it well

Love
I thought I knew I well
It can be romantic or a Kiss and tell
People say I don’t what it is
And that I’m too young and that we’re all kids
But you know what; I do know what it is
It’s the ups and the downs and the smile and the frowns
All for a girl, just a girl, but not any girl
She was my everything, and all I ever wanted, my first
But the feeling you get when she’s with another guy is just the worst
From the first kiss, to the thought of how did it end up like this
To this day I still reminisce about that kiss
Love, it’s so open, yet can mean so many things
It can go from a hug to looking for engagement rings
I’m not going to lie, I miss her
But no will care as much as I do
I wish we were little kids, so I could be your prince with your glass shoe
And I’ll break curfew just for you
But you have no clue
I’ll admit I’m a little jealous and even a little sad
That he is going to be the one, and it makes me mad
I know I’ve moved on but now I’m not sure
Is it me? Or am I still in love with her?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Boredem gets the best of me

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