helplessness

Empty

The empty space is what fills the hole inside my heart. Funny how others success brings me down to a beaten level where I wander forever aimlessly on the paths inside my brain. I doubt everything I’ve ever done and everything I do because what am I worth, what am I even needed for if I can’t even tell the success story of any of those who matter.


I’ve become a dementor of sorts, but rather than suck the positivity out of them, I wrap my mouth around my heart as it weeps the blood that once motivated. I viciously suck it out with every gasping breath. I don’t want to live a life of being told by others what someone I love has done. Don’t think I want pity for knowing there is not even presence in my absence. If the one who succeeds understands my helpless cries of devotion, then they alone should know each song that will need to be whispered in my ear to stop making me feel like the empty bottles in the road that get run over and burst, eventually flattened into useless trash.


I had a dream last night
That I needed you
As I do every day
Funny thing is
That this time
You tried to pull away. 

I Wish I Could Help

Folder: 
My Love

I catch your eye
Across the room;
I see you want to cry.
I cannot help
But feel that I
Have caused this deep inside.

It never was
my intent
to make you want to die.
Who knew
that all of this
could come from one small lie?

There was a time
so long ago
when you thought that you could fly.
But now my lie
has broke your wings
and made you want to cry.

Your freedom's gone
so is your song
but malice ne'er had I.
So I'll break my wings
to give to you
so once more you can fly.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem I wrote in about 2 minutes.... just practicing rhyming at first, but it led to so much more. Enjoy

From the Depths of an Aggregated Mind

I want to crash out from inside this bubble;

Have at the walls untill they're just useless rubble.

Eviscrate myself and save all of you the trouble

Of burying me deep with a rotten rusted shovel.

There's no reason for me to try my best.

I've deduced to a blabbering blubbering mess.

I cradle my head in my hands on my desk,

Whilst judgement is in conspicuous arrest.

Please, tell me my test

So i can accomplish it;

Finish off the quest

And slit the dying wick

From the pupils i caress.

Slice out the rotting carcass fruit thats been decaying in my chest.

I can't take any more of this.

I have nothing left,

Just this dark damn emptiness.

Why the fuck do i exist?

I am the living dead.

I creep and slither drenched in red.

The cavalcade of thoughts that rapes and violates your head.

I don't bring salvation,

I destroy mentality instead;

Posioning it with led.

Waking morbid curiosities untill all logic has fled.

Until you're drained of blood and all is calm and sted.

Peace in the bathroom that you bled

Where nothing matters, nothings sped.

I'm torn;

In constant uniform thats worn.

I heave.

I'm all alone.

How can one breathe when their minds so violent prone?

Forced to choose sides

And subside when evil arrives.

At birth i wish i'd died

Cause all i dream of now is constant suicide,

Maroon oceans, life juice tides,

Endless falling and sweet riptide.

Could end it all now and just say that i tried.

Feel the breeze of the night in my hair swish by.

Land in the cold forgiving eyes of fright in the flight;

Truly enjoy all the rest that i had denied

Almost each and everyday that i had in this life.

Before the crippling pavement's face,

I'll feel the silent weightless glide.