Inspirational Theft

Useless speech from my burdened mind,

Through these sorrowed lips which now curse your name,

I no longer have need for words, for I speak no more,

You stole my inspiration for life.

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Alone In Love

Sitting here with my eyes wide open I finally can really see, the world so still and time rushing by with people you love and people you hate around you where ever you are. The worlds full of hate, hate is what we fear and fear is what people feel when you walking down the street at night. The fear of a hater coming out of no where to try to make you feel low. What the fuck for? Do they inturn fear rejection of themselves if they become less domiant in the eyes of there peers. Interesting they can feel fear, so why can they not feel the pain they inflick on there victims. The hurt, fear, sadness, and anger they cause one person to feel. This madness could cause self-mudalation, depression, or suicide. A phobia of unreasonable fear of a situation or person. The obsession to feel excepted is what we all suffer from. A delusion of perfection that you can't snap out of. Get over it, no ones perfect. The way to happiness is exceptance of yourself. But don't worry I understand, I know its hard to believe, when criticism is all around, you were rised around and it won't go away with suicides and perfectionists you have to see it for yourself, like I have seen it here and now. Open yourself to your true feeling and be prepared to find yourself.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this because this is how I feel about immature pricks who think they are the shit. When they are really selfish bastards. Written 9/8/03

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Alone In Love

I hate you and by the way, fuck you!

I don't care if you hate me too.

In fact I hope you do.

I wish you were dead,

just rotting in bed,

because you wanted to be left alone,

and now I hope you die on you own.

I hate you, GOD, I fucking hate you!

I hate you and all the stupid things you do!

Your selfish and childish ways well get you no where.

But you probably don't even care!

So I leave you alone with these words

even if you don't care.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 9/19/03
This was to my ex, who I write alot about, but I was pretty pissed off when I wrote. This can you tell? I wrote it to make sure he knows I REALLY hate him.

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Love Isn't This Way


You're supposed to be on my side

No matter what

Tell me you love me

That's a lie

Love isn't this way

You've got it all wrong

Love isn't this way at all.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem about Alex. I was very mad at the time, and crying too.

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Goodbye Erin

Fuck Off

So what,

Maybe I want to die

And if I do

You could try

But you don't want to

You get sick

Everytime I cry

It's like the dialy dose of your


Well what the Fuck about


Don't you give a Fuck

About me?

I'll never deny you

But now I defy you

And since I've been lied to

Now I'll imply too

We both go

Our own separate ways

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this for my friend who allowed her boyfriend to disrespect me and my family.

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He loves me for who I am

Love Life

Draw the blanket up around my shoulders,

Lower my head, hiding blushing cheeks away,

He couldn't understand why, I guess he never will,

But I know that I will always be this way.

He loves me for who I am, for who he sees me to be,

But I wonder if he'll notice that I'm not really me.

I shy away from the camera, make excuses for the day,

Bite my lip and smile a little, in hopes that he won't ask,

Take a picture here and there, but long to tear it up,

Just looking at myself has become the hardest task.

He'd raise my chin and smile into my eyes,

I'd lower my head and want to cry, but try to hold it in,

He never understands why I get so embarrassed by his touch,

These feelings have gone deeper now, deeper than just skin.

He loves me for who I am, for who he sees me to be,

But I wonder if he'll notice that I'm not really me.

I'm pretending to be happy with what I am today,

Looking in the mirror and smiling at myself,

But inside my stomach churns just seeing my own face,

Longing just to change, to be somebody else.

He'll never understand it, why I am this way,

He can tell me that I'm beautiful and hearing fades away,

I'd like to believe it, maybe I will someday,

But for now, my self hatred is here to stay.

He loves me for who I am, for who he sees me to be,

But I wonder if he'll notice that I'm not really me.

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I scratch your back with my words.
And you don't even notice the blood running
    down the middle.
I guess I don't have to tell you.
You can look like the fool you really are in
    front of your friends.
Come on baby and give me a laugh or two.
Tell me another one of your stories where you got
   screwed over.
Make me dream about the time you beat me.
Make me dream about the time you cheated me.

I stab your back with my eyes.
You don't notice the gash.
I don't want to tell you.
You look like the fool you really are in front of
    all the girls you fantasize about.
They don't want you anymore because you've                    
    found another whore...
Killing Me.

I scratch your back with my words
Yet you can't seem to realize that you're

Author's Notes/Comments: 


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A dark hearts beating, longing to beat free

A dark eyes watching, watching just to see

A dark lungs breathing, breathing for me

A dark hate hanging, hanging from a string.

Hopeless life, you have no pride

Lifeless hope, you must coincide

Strangled joy, dead as dawn

Chessboard of life, I’m just a pawn

You hate me

Du hasst mich

Tu me deteste

Usted me odia


Du... du hasst... du hasst mich....

Kill me now, while you have the chance

Take my life, before I advance

Why do you hate?

Why discriminate?

Why deteriorate?


Decorate my walls with the red of the dead

The blood of my life, thickly spread

You hate me

Du hasst mich

Tu me deteste

Usted me odia


Tu… tu deteste… tu me deteste…

Elimination, a deadly game

Cat and mouse, it’s all the same

Let’s play another, quite simple game

It’s called respect, don’t place the blame

From the confines of hates dark lair,

From the palace of all despair

Lurking deeply and ready to pounce

In a deadly game of cat and mouse.

You hate me

Du hasst mich

Tu me deteste

Usted me odia


Usted… usted odio… usted me odia…







Author's Notes/Comments: 

Inspired by Rammstein's "Du hast", even though properly translated in means you have, not you hate.

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Hand in Hand

Hate and Love walked hand and hand,
Side by side they go,
Who is in the right and who is in the wrong?
I guess it just depends where your life has gone.


Hate says to Love, "Pain is all I know."
"Sorrow is all I feel,"
"Without it where would I be?"
"Lost in the night?  Washed to sea?"


Love says to Hate, "Trust is all I know."
"Kisses on a sunset beach."
"Without it where would I be?"
"'Cept Bitter and lonely"


Hate replies, "As long as I can feel my pain I know I'm real."
"As long as the tears fall, I can be me."
"Love can come and go in the night,"
"But I'm always here and always right."


Love replies "I think you need help,"
"If that's the life you see."
"There's so much love that can be given,"  
"And even hate can be forgiven."


So here Hate and Love parted their ways,
They walked hand in hand no more,
Hate went on hurting,
Love went on loving.


Then one day Love Passed away,
Died without a reason or cause,
While Hate remained in the world today,
Always teaching those who seek out Love it's way...

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