Hate

Perfect Sense

I think hate comes from ignorance,
They say ignorance is bliss,
But I think ignorance comes from a lack of joy,
And anger turned inwards onto the self.
Joy comes from connection to the Divine spark
In all living things, so it would make perfect
Sense that there is so much depression,
Anger and ignorance in the world,
Because it is clear we have somehow
Lost respect for all living things as a species.

Sorrow can come from a lot of different
Conscious and subconscious places, I think,
But if we are neglecting our source of joy,
Then it would make perfect sense that
We would feel a deep sorrow as we watch
The world as it falls apart, and know,
Deep within us, why it is happening,
Even if we wear a mask to hide it.
When i say 'joy' I do not mean simply
A smile or a fleeting thrill from a gift given,
When I say 'joy' I mean a lasting flame of inner peace
And contentment that carries us past any
And all upsets and conflicts we run into.

I do not know of any children who are taught
These things. Are they important to anyone anymore
In our busy lives where there is so much
That is more important than ridding the earth of hate?
I am only one person, but I just do not agree that
Ignorance is bliss. Years ago I may have said yes,
Because years ago I did not know what bliss was,
But now being familiar with bliss, having experienced
Deep depression, having learned the ways I have fallen
Into ignorance and anger turned outward ,
I am more sure than ever about these things
As far as myself goes, anyway.

Saying 'ignorance is bliss' may just be someone's way
Of saying 'I'm too depressed and angry to care',

And, 'I don't want to admit it because it's just easier

To be in denial about the whole big mess'.

Sound right to you?

 

Have a great day.

 

8:41 AM 5/10/2013

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The Lucky Ones.

Folder: 
Pain and Heartache

I watch them in the park,

The Lucky Ones.

Whose parents hug them tightly,

and wipe faces with thumbs.

I am jealous of them all,

with their happy little smile.

I wish that I could take their place,

and have them be me for a while.

I watch aghast as they get angry,

staring dumbfounded as they scream.

"I hate you, Mommy. Go away!"

all over being denied ice cream.

I wince inside myself,

braced for their punishment they'll get.

But it never comes done,

nothing like the pain I've met.

I watch as they cry,

screaming I don't want Burger King.

I wait for them to be hit,

smacked or kicked... SOMETHING!

But it never does,

and I feel sick inside.

Why does their happiness grow,

as mine slowly died.

I love to watch them be dragged away,

finally treated like me.

All the while complaining

and saying stop I have to pee.

Then they disobey again,

and run off towards the swings.

Slipping away from their parents

and jumping off of things.

Then finally they get caught

and I watch them cry.

Their parents pick them up

saying tell your friend goodbye.

They bound over and hug me

I squeeze back a little too tight.

Wishing all over again

that I could be them for one night.

Too have mommy hug me

and daddy shower me with love.

Bedtime stories and warm cookies

for their little dove.

But instead I must go home

to face my papa's fists.

While momma drinks to ignore my cries,

and cigarette smoke settles in like mist.

Then I wish anew and once again

that I was like other daughter's and sons.

That daddy and mommy would change,

But i guess that's just for the Lucky Ones.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Its about children who are abused looking at other "normal" kids and wondering why they can act out without being punished and wishing they could lead their lives. Basically its about being grateful that you have parents who care enough not to beat or mistreat you

Ruthless Monotony

I'd love to write a poem of hate right now,
But hate only brings the same,
I'd love to tear the walls down,
And paint everything black,
My soul is crying out with rage
Like an animalistic scavenger,
Seeking the blood to tear the guts
From the bellies of demons who created this disaster.

And inner peace speaks softly
All the while beyond this fury,
I cry not only for the anger,
But I cry because of this beauty,
A spark that's lived within the thrawls
And clutches of such untold deceit,
I'm weak as a lamb and fall down in mercy
...and bow to love's defeat.

 

7:45 PM 4/17/2013 ©

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a poem about the silent spark that pummels through our rage. 'Be still and know that I am god--this too shall pass'

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broken beyond repair

broken needing help

i faint i fall

crying, dieing

heart snatched Ripped from my body

u dont tell me sooner than what you did

you lied to me i forgave you you begged me not to leave you

i stayed all for what you to leave me

i stood by you i wanted to stay by you forever

You begged me to stay with you forever..

this wa only 2 days ago ... feelings fades within 2 days

and you break up with me .. with no second chance

i gave u chances ...

you cant give me another

i can change who i am ...

i wouldnt of cared what people thought

but that times gone

my chances gone

your gone

myself im alone frustrated

hurt suffering

this inferier pain

and yet im broken beyound repair

Author's Notes/Comments: 

broken :'(

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suicidal thoughts....

The past few weeks had been hard on us

harder and harder

the bullying

the suffering

everything

just the raw pain

the emotions going through my  head

caving in

im sorry ...

u wrote beutiful things always for me

loved me ...

now.....

Bam you ended us like that \

A stabb to the heart Shattering it to millions of peices

after everything... this

a bullet wound to me

nothing

i just want death

i deserve death, let me die, no one can help me now

no one...

moon light falls apon this earth

but i stay awake

im going to leave this world soon

i cant bare the pain of everything

the bullying this our break up its to much ...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Im sick of life ...

 

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Fear

If i say i fear my mind

You will think i'm mad

But why won't you take time to understand

For my mind plays tricsk on me over time

 

It always just starts off so sweet

Until the fear keeps creeoing in

Its also some memory or thing i've locked away

That my mind keeps bringing up each day

Each day i sit there and fear some more

Wondering why does my mind opend these doors

 

You begin to fear love
You begin fear joyz

Soon that fear becomes law
And then you you sit and sink deep

Into parts of your mind of which you do not speak

 

So fear is such a strong thing

But you need to control it

Cause without fear
You have hope

And without hope you have fear

So if you fearing your mind

Think of this line

"if fear fears hope then hope is the light , the light that will shine through the dark

The BDSM Girl

The knife cuts and the holder bleeds
All for love, but it's respect she needs

The stone eyed men foster madness
In their prey they nourish a seed of sadness

Black and blue is what they give
They care not for her soul to live

The nymph can't see colors, she craves more pain
Pleasing and pleading is her most walked lane

At night she sleeps and her bruises weep
But the cravings are wounds even more deep

Beauty stained with a Spanish whip
The beholder holds her reality's grip 

She wakes in chains
Standing up to gods
Thoughts so vain




Author's Notes/Comments: 

Please comment. 

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Alone in The Dark

I stood there alone in the dark

Wondering when did this sadness start

Was it last night when you said goodbye

Or was it last year when you took your own life

 

I stand alone in this shawdow that surronds me

lokking for a light i've never seen

I have hope, i know it's there

Cause it can't only be thos despair

I've looked so hard but it can't be found

It's so hard when your alone searching around

 

This light this beacon of something

better than this

Is what makes me know that happiness exists

That there is someone for me
All I have todo is break free

 

This dark room it holds me , chains me to the floor

I want to break free but my heart is still sore

So ill keep searching on this 3 feet of chain

Hoping that today my light will be in reach again

Well of waste

I want to drown myself in coffee.. I want to melt into every part of you.

beauty lies within the eyes, so what you expell is what you put out, & in turn recieve.. 

& in those times you bleed, & feel ugly, know it's all a part of being set free.

 

crippled, I stand.

shaking, my hand.

waving, goodbye... I let out a sigh.

why bother to ask? alone at last.. comfort in this clasp..

the suffocation of myself. 

 

breathe, be, clear my eyes with water, in attempt to better see. 

I can't bare anymore to feel the black shroud of this clouded memory..

my heart cries out for clarity..

envisioning the future, I climb..

but we all tend to fall a little short in the grasp of time.. 

 

how I wish to call you darling.. & stroke your hair..

caressing the sides of your face, & playing with the jewelry in your ears..

i'm sorry I couldn't of done better.. for my family has the tendency to fight & fetter.. 

 

another sunny day, wasted away.. I kind of wish I could lie down in my grave, & rest eternally..

maybe so many of us are unhappy because we never stop searching, we never let our heart or mind get a rest..

we always push ourselves further, & wonder why it seems like a test.. 

why haven't my eyes bled out yet...? why am I still here..?

this fear is parasitic.. consuming your insides.. till it's all that's left there... 

 

if I were to die, i'd hate to know he got the satisfaction of my silence...

the suffering I endured, creating massive hurricanes of inner violence.. 

i'll try now, to bring up a well of pity... just for you.. maybe i'll even throw in a penny, or dime..

but not a quarter, cause you were never worth my time.....

 

if you continue.... I hope you fall on your face someday, & land on my grave...

when you do, i'll be sure to pull you straight through, down under, to burn in hells fire..

this is one of my many darkest desires..

Author's Notes/Comments: 

3.4.13