I can't dance and I can't sing.

I can't dance and I can't sing.
I will teach you anything.
From fix a flat, to hula hoop.
To sewing hats and how to shoot.
I will teach you all these things.
It's better than searching on Bing.
I can teach you anything.
In your home, or down the road.
Learn how to taxidermy a toad.
All of these things that you can learn.
Like skipping rocks or growing ferns.
All of these lessons in just one spot.
Sell any skill you think you've got.
Yes, I will teach you anything.
So take a look, come on in.
I can even teach you how to swim.
There are no limits, yes it's true.
All of these things, I will teach you.

Tree and Bird

Tree and Bird


Tree lets bird play, without shooing away

not taken by convulsive throes.

Like a primate, in a vegetative state

who wishes to scratch his nose.

Tree has a need, to spread his seed

so he welcomes little birds toes.

He offers a bribe, to be carried inside

and removed from my car with a hose.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

set to music here

View donjezza's Full Portfolio

What Poems Will You Read?

Just a thought!

What poems will you read?

Short waves


Endless words


Ripple down



Repeated fits of furry, with ridiculous rants and raves?

Letters with no will to live, threatening to end it all?

A lost love, waiting in the wings, hoping they will call?

We all tend to pick the one's, relating to our own life and time,

I read the one's with a humorous twist, and end with a little rhyme'

  by Barry Anderson



Author's Notes/Comments: 

"What Poems Will You Read?"

O'l Captain


There once was a captain named Ben

he loved to gamble with his men
he lost his money
and his honey
Now he's broke again 
View scotty's Full Portfolio



There once was a girl who would run

She ran cause it was fun
she became a star
And ran so far
All the way to the sun
View scotty's Full Portfolio



There once was a man with a beard

Everyone thought he was weird
He rolled around
All over the ground
And now the field is cleared
View scotty's Full Portfolio

The Record Store, flash fiction story

The record store


It started with gray, gray everywhere. But it wasn’t in any sort of literal way; it was just a really rainy day that most of the room was turning gray. Two girls were lying at the floor with no motivation and lipstick smeared all over their chins. “This Is killing me, man” “Yeah, I know, but you were the first one who wanted to wake up early y’know?” “So what should we do?” “Well, it’s rainy, and we ate most of the food between yesterday and today, do you have any money left at all?” “As a matter of fact, I do, you know I’m very good with my savings” “Yeah? What about last weekend” “So? Do you want the money or not?” “Let’s go to a record store” “But it’s far away” “Your parents aren’t home anyway, and we have no electricity in this place, we might as well just stay here and it won’t change the fact that there’s nothing else to do” “Fine” one of the girls sighed “But if we do go to the record store, I’m not leaving that place until I find something of The Strokes” “Yeah yeah, hurry”. So they left the house and went to the nearest Record Store, and it was still gray everywhere. Gray, buildings, gray sky, gray people. They Arrived. And although it was still gray, it wasn’t empty at all. They entered, and assistant boys with black shirts were stacking everything really fast, because discounts of New Year ’s Eve were getting near.  “You go that way” pointing the alternative area “And I’ll go that way” pointing the oldies but goldies area. The girl at the oldies but goldies was mostly searching for gifts,  but she actually found very good ones by 80s artists such as Robert Smith, Morrissey and other, and of course, Glam forgotten artists. “There are so many” she sighed again. One of the boys with blue shirt arrived “Is there anything I Could help?” “No thank you I’m actually pretty fine” The boy, although he looked tired and as if he didn’t had a shower in 2 days still smiled with kindness “I see you’re holding a The Cure and The Smiths records, do you fancy 80s music?” “I Like it, yeah, it’s ideal for this weather” “I totally agree” “Thanks anyway” But the Boy still smiled and got closer “You know, tomorrow we will have more discounts than today, you should come back tomorrow, too” “Ah, you’re just saying that to help you get more money to your company” “You caught me”, the boy laughed, and leaned towards a stack of vinyl’s “You know, my mother introduced me to The Cure when I was little, I never thought I could like them so much, sometimes I’m very impatient with music, I like it or I don’t, and there’s no in between,  for example” and he took a bunch of albums very rapidly “Out of these ones (They were  New Order, Poison, Pulp, and other) “Do you think I could like them?” “Uh, I don’t know” the girl started to worry but remained calm “Probably, if you listened them” “Yeah I guess you’re probably right, but still, I hate it when bands change their style completely, like the Monkeys, do you like the Monkeys?” “Arctic?  Yeah, they’re good, I have most of their albums” “Well, their new one is terrible, it arrived really early in here, and I got a free sample” The boy started to get closer but still he was getting a childish-like anger. “…And It was terrible, don’t get me wrong, I love them, but I just can’t dig it, it’s not good music to me anymore, and my last girlfriend, oh my god, did she like ‘em, she was just a pain in my butt, always talking about them, not that I don’t like girls that like the monkeys, it’s just, I like more care-free girls, or maybe that’s just me, you know, they say, boys and girls look people who resemble to their parents, I think that’s psychology, not sure, but I’m studying a masters in politics so I’ll have to search for that ”


 “I need to listen to it. And, I guess, wasn’t that a Freud theory?” “We have it right there, but buy these ones today, and If you come tomorrow I can make you a great discount” “Sounds great” said the girl trying to keep up with the boy’s temperament “So, I know this will be me rushing too fast, and It’s illegal, don’t tell anyone, let me buy you a coffee, Starbucks, yeah” “As in, today?” “Or whenever you say” “Okay, okay, let me go back tomorrow” Sounds excellent to me” “Thank you, so that’ll be it, I have to back with my friend” “It was nice meeting you” the boy was still smiling with kindness but it was noticeable the lack of sleep he had “He probably had a lot of coffee” the girl said to herself to calm herself down of the amount of experiences she had with just one person. She went with her friend. The other girl was smirking almost laughing at her face “So I see you had fun ehhhhhhhhhh?” “Shut up” “Oh, come on! He’s not the craziest people you have met, and you know that, he actually looks nice, without that, caffeine, not-showering-in-days-look” “He talked about his mother and his ex-girlfriend with me, and other stuff I can’t remember” “Keeper!” the girl shouted “Shut up!” the other one blushed and gave a little punch to the other girl “Hurry up, please” “No, no, maybe I should talk to him too, he could become part of the family soon enough” “You’re terrible, I’m not buying you albums” “Alrighty, it’s okay, I got everything let’s go, I see you’re suffering” The Girl, still red took the albums and paid for everything.  They went out of the store, the boy was looking at them, but he was attending some other people. “It’s over now, let’s go and eat” “Yeah”. It was still gray, the buildings and people were still gray,  but even though it was gray, they gave the girls something to talk about on a gray day.  

I Sued Because I Couldn't Be A Nun

Everybody is shocked by my lawsuit and because I won.

I sued a Convent because they wouldn't let me be a Nun.

They said that I couldn't be a Nun because I'm a man.

I kept begging to be a Nun so much that I was Banned.

When they rejected me, it really hurt my feelings and one of my problems is my vanity.

A Funny Farm put me in a straight jacket because they said that I suffer from insanity.

I was told that I can only be a Priest or a Monk.

It was sexual discrimination and it really stunk.

I'll be wealthy when the Convent pays me.

Why does everybody keep calling me crazy?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a fictional poem.

View randyjohnson's Full Portfolio

Rubber Check

You make me so mad that I want to wring your neck.

You think that I'm stupid enough to take your check.

Your checks bounce so much that they should be made out of rubber.

I won't take your check, I don't care how much you blubber.

Stop that damn crying, stop acting like a five year old kid!

I won't accept your stinking check but sadly, I once did.

I took your four hundred dollar check and it bounced.

I was so angry that when I saw you again, I pounced.

Your lousy check bounced so I decided to make you bounce too.

You regretted giving me that rubber check when I was through.

But here you are again and you think that I'll take your rubber check.

When I get done, a doctor will have to put a brace around your neck.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a fictional poem.

View randyjohnson's Full Portfolio