Monster of a Man

My Mum was a barmaid and my brother was a clown

In a miserable dump of a mining town.


The harbour smelt like mould

and the houses looked like brothels

and the cats killed your dogs and the drunkards pissed in bottles.


My school was a dump

and the children picked on me

and the ceiling had a leak

and the teacher had no teeth.


But I didn't attend for long,

and I wasn't exactly sad

but my mother needed help

 because my brother had gone mad.

You see, my brother was a clown

In a shitty little circus

Which was paradise for prostitutes,

for drunkards and for perverts.


Plus, my brother a good clown,

but others were pretty crap

so the Circus lost their customers

and that was the end of that.


So my dearest older brother

lost his job and joined my mum,

serving ale to vulgar lowlifes,

taking money from the Scum.


Despite all this, there was no money

nor was there food upon our plates

So Mum told me "Nell, you're twelve now,

so you should start pulling your weight."


I didn't want to do this,

But I really had no choice,

And the Lord Mayor offered me a job

In a most remarkable place.


My job was very dangerous and I'm sure it was a crime,

to send a little girl into The Lilac Mine.


The Mine was cold and slippery,

not to mention rather dark,

But I had to hold the lanterns,

for the Miners' while they worked.


And you might call me crazy,

But I know what I heard,

A gypsy band was singing

Which I know sounds quite absurd,


So I tried not to dwell on it,

Because I had to work,

But I was sure that I'd heard songs

Similar to those before...


One night, I hid behind a pile

of coal and waited 'til

all the Miners had gone home

and I was sat in the darkness still.


I ventured down the darkest parts

of the Lilac Mine,

I could hear the songs and smell the scents

of meat and scotch and wine.


This is where my life began to disintegrate to dust,

I don't wish to continue, but really I must.


At the bottom of the mine, I found

A cold, colossal cave

Inhabited by people who looked like

A mauve parade.


Dozens upon dozens of them jumping around and whooping,

purple clothes and purple hair

They saw me and started smiling.


"Join us, little blonde girl,

come and eat some human scraps,

Boiled leg or skewered neck?

Perhaps some belly fat?"


I stupidly joined them for dinner,

which was absolutely strange,

for we were eating human brains

and the Purples were deranged.


The leader was a sprightly man,

They called him Olly Plum.

He sang the songs and played guitar

and was loved by everyone.


The others were his brothers

and his multitude of wives,

but his daughter Violet reminded me

of an old friend of mine.


One summer, when I was seven,

I knew a girl called Sally.

We were close companions

'til they found her dead in an alley.


The thing about Violet was

not that she was kind,

although she was, and funny and crazy,

but she acted like a child.


She danced when her father sang,

and her brothers played the drums,

Her family adored her,

but none more than Olly Plum.


Although I loved their music,

I was a little scared.

What if they wanted to eat me?

Oh well. No-one would have cared.


I sang with them until Midnight,

by which time I was very tired

I'd hoped my Mum would be sleeping,

but she was waiting by the fire.


"Where the hell have you been?!

I've been worried sick!"

"I'm sorry Mum, I just got lost,

took a wrong turn into a ditch!"


"That'll explain the state of you. Off you go to bed!

Be sure to come home early tomorrow or trust me, you'll be dead!"


I knew my Mum was angry,

but I couldn't have cared less,

because I knew the Purples

would have caused me less distress.


I decided I would live with them,

and play their music too.

In hindsight, it was stupid and I'm sure

You think it was too.


I went to work and returned to the cave

on the day I turned Thirteen.

I asked to join their band

and Violet gave me a tambourine.


"We'll be just like sisters," she whispered to me that night.

But as she came close, I saw in her eyes, something which gave me a fright.


The Purples' eye were purple too!

And that's what made me scared.

If I stayed here and my eyes turned mauve,

would my vision be impaired?


Apparently not. You see, I asked

 Olly Plum, who said,

that the colour of their eyes

was nought to do with their homestead.


"Purple" was a curse of hate,

the townsfolk were to blame.

They chased them into The Lilac Mine

to the Purples' utter shame.


"Why Purple, though?" I asked him.

And he answered: it's what becomes

of us people, who are pelted with

the stones and pulp of plums!


I took his word for gospel,

and lived happily with his crew...

But one day, I saw in my reflection

that my eyes were purple too!


"What is this?!" I cried. "What's happened to me?

I've caught the Purple Curse!"

"Relax," said Violet, "Your eyes are purple,

your life could be much worse!"


She couldn't have been more right, you see,

For things began to change.

We'd eaten lots of townsfolk,

so the Mayor had a Search arranged!


One night at eleven,

Us Purples tried to be quiet,

but one person who could not sit still

was my darling Best Friend, Violet.


She stood up and danced and we begged her to stop

But her feet and arms kept going.

Then, the search party found us all

And the next moment: we were screaming.


The Townsfolk were ruthless and hit the Purples'

on their heads.

I begged a Gentleman to stop,

but he arrested me instead!


My brother Clown, restored to sanity

Bought me from my cell.

I was relieved, but then he told me

that the Purples were condemned to hell.


At their execution, The Magistrate roared:

"These cannibals now shall  hang!"

 But I screamed and I cried and I yelled at him:



The first to meet the gallows

Was my darling Violet, who smiled.

"Don't worry, dear Nell. We're both going to hell,

so we'll only be apart for a while!"


The rope met her neck and the townsfolk rejoiced

that this monster would soon be dead.

A masked man pulled the leaver and the whole world could hear

the "snap" which had broken her neck.


I live with my mother, and whenever she hits me

I can hear poor Violet's neck snap.

They have closed Lilac Mine, but whenever I see it,

Part of me wants to go back...





Author's Notes/Comments: 

Reviews are most welcome!

Failure in a glass

sad but true, shame on you... all has come unglued..

i'm swimming through this ocean, tide pulling me over & under, just to try & make it back, without blunder..

I'd rather dig a thousand pins into my skin, or burn a billion holes onto my back, then hurt you unintentionally..

can't you see, I'd much rather strike myself...

I don't want anyone to be an object of my pain..

so please refrain from stepping any further.. 

you don't know what goes on in my brain...

these chemicals are mine to control.

so stand back while I get a-hold..


ashes to ashes... everything collapses.. piece by piece, coming apart.

nothing ever felt right, from the very fucking start..

sometimes I cannot convey the thoughts in which my mind is stirring up,

or the feelings that cause my heart to silently bleed..

if only I had those wings, I would of flown away long ago..

& saved you from the inevitable hurt..


not being here.

sometimes I wonder if that's the only real dream in which i've truly conceived through out this life time..

nothing special, but it sure seems realistic..

she screamed at me, "it's all just a fantasy!" .. inside I went ballistic..

twisting & turning, face to the floor, squirming..

staring down at the shriveled remains of sanity... 


your eyes expell such melancholy.. do you see the same in me..?

am I just a tree for you to chop down..?

to carve your name in..?

to climb..? to rest up against..?

no longer will I walk along such a thin frail line..

no longer will I stand out of the shadows to be seen...

for these shadows are all that will vaguely cover me..

offering faint protection.. 


sometimes you can't avoid the rejections, the experiences, or the lessons..

when you drink that water, check the bottom to make sure it's clean..

though it may appear transparent & clear..

you could end up swallowing a ton of nails...

choking on how much you've failed..

shame on me, too.

Author's Notes/Comments: 



Think twice~

Overthinking, sinking, falling, crawling.. damned.. 

why am I stuck in this abysmal black quicksand..? are we nothing but a pitiful man..?

I know you don't appreciate this form of expression...

but my life isn't over until i've learned each of the lessons.


drained, crippling, cracking & hyperventilating..

pathetic vacant melting disgrace..

I can see the smile wearing off your face..

hot wax spilled into my eyes today..

part of me knows better, then to believe in such a mundane reality.. 

there's much greater sights to see, in my 8 dimensional fantasy.


Slit, slice.. need to free myself from this vice. 

we all need to constantly think twice.. I wish you were still around..

wish you could be a healthy piece to my life, but I had to try & make the right choice... 

you bare that empty stare.. like a glare..

were you ever really there..?

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September 19th in College Algebra

He did that thing with the button on his shirt again today.

It was purple.

Mind perplexed by his magnetic aura,

That smiling coy mouth moved, but my thoughts went astray.

Even the darling freckled frat boy next to me went

Adrift into time and space;

And he stared into these eyes

Oh, those piecing brown eyes

I understood the assumptive look on his face.

Disoriented, perplexed, and satisfied, that flirtatious moving mouth

Paused for but a moment;

Furtive words returned masked inviting and tantalizing

Some thought registered, and he withdrew to his means.

An inquiring expression left a mark in my mind today

His eyes are so brown.

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Spoken muse at evening's edge,
given its voice from long ago.
A view in place - outside the reach,
forever spawned by twinkle's glow.

Awing wonder-- presented by night,
a voyage beyond dream filled eyes.
Threshold leading past the moon;
through the door, to endless skies.

Ride along on a falling star;
whisking by the facets of light.
Chase the flow of stellar winds;
a wish upon - taken to flight.

Shining pebbles within the grasp,
worlds displaying a sun in rise.
a will-o-wisp taken in hand,
an elusive lure becomes the prize.

To lands in lights of pondered glints,
oceans awash on new-found shores.
Horizons discovered in leap of night,
abreast with heaven--the dreamer soars.

To boarders of the clustered field,
sees a height of sparkling showers.
Crossing depths without moment's loss,
a witness to paused sweeping hours.

Come touch the face of father time,
for journey--his stance so still.
Far in distance he patiently waits,
once again--a venture so real.

© C.E.Vance




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A dream of death

A mere whisper ‘pon my lips,
and lo, as in a dark festal dream,
under horned Diana she comes forth
parting the leaden mists near the frozen stream

‘’ To thee I shall weave my song,
Alas! Let the wine of Bacchus flow,
The moon itself bears witness and stars become aware;
As we dance ‘pon the virgin snow
Young and unfulfilled ‘neath the cedar’s stare…’’

With the merest brush of her lips on mine
She renders me powerless- a serpent’s kiss
I slip into her cold caress
To be crowned in eternal bliss…

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Take on death as a female figure.. The ever mysterious, yet the one to whom some of us oft yearn when all hope is lost.

View edgars's Full Portfolio

Makeshift Lanterns


Upon the glimmer of eve's first sighted twinkling star,
wishes for treasure, including fireflies for the jar
Asked wonders and trinkets, which awe with delighted swoon,
sincere whispers whisk past the face of a smiling moon

Viewed sparkling tinsel and makeshift lanterns that glow,
beckon eyes to surrender with radiant trove’s show
In sweetened slumber, gatherings of wished treasures stream,
with sprinkle of dust from sandman comes a time to dream


Aloft on fragile wings through fluorescent rainbow skies,
realm of the journey lies in conjured mystic guise
Sought tinseled fields shine beneath night’s swaddling shawl,
makeshift lantern’s bright amber magic surrounding all

Across the yard swooping on wings made of finest gold,
fond dreams were placed within a jars safe hold
Asked wonders and trinkets, which awe with delighted swoon,
throughout the years whisk past the face of a smiling moon

© C.E. Vance


















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Songs Serene

Songs serene arrives with entrance's waltz,
likened to willow's swish in swell of breeze
Leisurely grace defined by shimmery sight,
image is host to sweeping gown's melodies


Allure of jasmine surrounds sauntered wake,
visage passes with a charm filled wile
Showered light mirrored in sequins donned,
jeweled radiance gleams from a lovely smile


Within haloed mist lies beauty shed of veil,
guises of pretense paint no assuming shades
Ambrosia is savored to beholding eyes,
forever in memory, a scene that never fades


Gentle caress to petals splashed in early dew,
bathe flowers beneath sapphire colored skies
Favored each day with blossoms moistened kiss,
dawn greets presence with another sun in rise


Holding you closely in morning's embrace,
Heaven yields surroundings of paradise to you
Succumbed to the sight as your presence nears,
a wishful peek into Eden's garden comes true


Songs serene arrives with entrance's waltz,
draping of a gown wisps the willow's song
Refinement of grace displays a shimmering view,
in my fondest dreams the melody plays long

© C.E.Vance











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I don't want to wake up,
I don't want to wake up from this image
I see in my head.

If you were to see the beauty I've seen,
You would be blinded by the imagery,
And blinded forever with fantasy.

I wish dreams could become reality,
If my dreams came true,
I'd be set free from society.

Set free from the
State of mind of slavery,
Free from poverty,
Free from racism,
Free from violence,
Free from my slumber of silence.

For these last words,
I envision a dream,
A place for others like me,
Who see the guiding stars,
Who aren't blinded by luxury
But happy to be heard once again.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Poem speaks for itself. Comment if you can relate!

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