after you (my life as a succubus)

After Death

our love was like the ocean that made us.  

huge, immense, beautiful, turbulent, raw, eternal.

our love was the binding of souls each to each

in turns brotherly, sisterly, dark, mundane, and maturnal.


our love was constant and proud as any king

unconditional and obvious, i'd give you anything.

such joy never lasts, and hope must be lost.

such love has a price, and it's a very high cost.


they say a minute can change everything.  they're right.

one phone call turned every daylight to night.  

if love must be tested i came to the call.

before god and everyone i gave you my all.


but nothing i did could sway lady fate. 

on the fifth day, the worst day, you became the late.

i'll never forget the day it all changed.

it was the day my whole life rearranged.


that's how i knew our souls had exchanged.

i lost in me something childhood had ingrained.

all that was left was a huge gaping hole

and tattered edges of what was left of my soul.


i was briefly psychic, a bewildered empath,

feeling the beyond of strangers in my path.  

but then i was empty and hungry and cold.

i felt myself eating other bodies and souls.


like a horrible monster i preyed on the weak.

decay and disease provided nourishment i seek.

the fetuses of women called to me most.

all that i fought still brought an unwitting host.


i stood on their weaknesses even as i fought myself.

i was eating their disease and stealing their health.

still the hole ached in its eternal place.

still even strangers saw the sorrow in my face.


i started sucking on lightbulbs to save the innocent.

jittery, electric, nervous, artificial, body dissent.

my soul craved the edge of life and death 

but artificiality left it tweaky and bereft.


then my monster took a much darker turn. 

love could steal pieces that life couldn't earn.

pharmacology and sex can take more than is given, 

and hell can fill anything left empty by heaven.


unwitting, unaware, i swallowed a piece of a soul.

i felt it, immediate, a salve on that hole.

now my soul is nothing but a patchwork quilt.

i suck at these creatures and yet feel no guilt.


there is no number, no amount could replace you.

and no matter what, i would never erase you.

but each of these fools who bows to my wit

erases the pain of losing you a little bit.


and knowing the cosmos as only witches do, 

i always think first, i know you and thank you.

and in the cycle of life and death, circles and spheres,

you and i are only us, right now and right here.


i eat of you and take you and will not give you up,

nor could you stop me if you knew on which i sup.

but all that which is given first must be earned,

then honored and cherished, loved and hence returned,


to each of you fools held under my sway,

take comfort in the fact we'll meet again one day.

and next time i will owe you a debt to the dark

to be paid in full til it erase any mark.


and i hope that, each to each, you reply in the time

you need it most, and it fills a need as deep as mine.

and i hope, in that moment, you stand a foot in each world,

and i hope in that moment the life's mystery is unfurled.


eat of my soul and know of my sorrow.

dissolve away what is in you that's hollow.

for these strangers i will give up what is lost,

for a debt is not paid until you know what it cost.


and a pain spent over lifetimes and very slowly eased

is the feeling of needed peace and demons being released.

it's the moment of giving and sacrifice that makes us.

and in life and death, it's the devil that takes us.

in the darkness before the dawn it's hope that forsakes us, 

but from the ashes only we can remake us.



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Alone in The Dark

I stood there alone in the dark

Wondering when did this sadness start

Was it last night when you said goodbye

Or was it last year when you took your own life


I stand alone in this shawdow that surronds me

lokking for a light i've never seen

I have hope, i know it's there

Cause it can't only be thos despair

I've looked so hard but it can't be found

It's so hard when your alone searching around


This light this beacon of something

better than this

Is what makes me know that happiness exists

That there is someone for me
All I have todo is break free


This dark room it holds me , chains me to the floor

I want to break free but my heart is still sore

So ill keep searching on this 3 feet of chain

Hoping that today my light will be in reach again

Two Extremes


Light and Dark 


I am living between two extremes,

Light and dark, you would not believe.

Though a dark mind, I am sweet,

With a soft heart-beat...


Please listen to me,

I want to explain, you see?

Evil and good, a dizzying flight,

Heaven O take me to the upper height.


Heaven is with Azathoth,

The mighty flutist God.

My Father in Heaven Thou art,

I do play my part...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Some thoughts about darkness and light - evil and good.

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Warhead - Part II




He was standing behind the door,

Grinning evil at me...

But he couldn't fool me,

I was not coming closer;

He was a total nightmare!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A dream I had about Warhead.

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What if all was beyond that,

Would there still be innocence?

I cannot live with such a thought,

It will surely break me apart.


Is nature itself innocent?

It's full of ravage and wrath.

But it is not evil nor good,

Being one with the Soul, not apart.


Magick is what once was lost,

To be discovered thereupon.

Magick is the key to knowledge,

To the Unknown and the Soul.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this once for a contest on another poetry-site.

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A Little Child


Have to be a little child from my father,

Have to obey Cthulhu evermore.

And all bad things turned into dust,

By my evil and good Father.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Some thoughts.

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A Little Child


Have to be a little child from my father,

Have to obey Cthulhu evermore.

And all bad things turned into dust,

By my evil and good Father.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Some thoughts about Father Cthulhu.

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Like blood running red

From a bullet in my head

I am my worst enemy

And I just lost a battle with me

See, it’s clear

I am the one thing that I fear

For I can only truly be free

From anything other than me

I want to do good, I know I can

But in the mirror is a man

I don’t recognize

Whom I despise

Because it’s me I’ve idolized


I’m sick of the lie

That I’ve been handed

That I’ve been branded

That the world revolves around me

It can’t be

Or else I wouldn’t be in this mess

To keep God God, I’ve learned is best

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angels don't play this HAARP

current affairs

Angels don’t play this HAARP

Angels play Harps and Lyres
Abject beauty to inspire
But theres a HAARP: Nazi
Not made from music wire

Angels don’t play HAARP
Have not done from the start
HAARP is in Alaska, Reading
Designed to effect your heart

Soul too, to suppress the truth
Disconnect from the divine
Negative frequencies disturb you
Remove a life so sublime

That’s not to say your happy
Angels don’t play HAARPS sadly
But life can be amazing
Better than the life your leading

HAARP on almost daily
Reading, main one in Alaska
Not forgetting one in Norway
All because our leaders don’t care

Restriction, any way they can
Prescription drugs, poison food
Another way to restrict; religion
Designed to make a puppet of you

No strings in this HAARP too
Just a mass of wire, electric
Ionospheric heater too
Can even manufacture earthquakes

Like Hadron Collider will break
Divine don’t trust any machine
Illuminate and the dark makes
By definition distinctly nazi

Author's Notes/Comments: 

please google LHC and HAARP for more info

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