dying

Cutting (Epilogue)

Pain scorches my mind

As I peruse the novels

Of my recollections

Every night is identical

Read, reminisce, agony

So I incinerated the library

Of my long kept memories

And their embers seared a hollowness

Into my soul

The ashes of my past

Floating away into the blood-red of the firmament

Or is it of my veins

I can’t say

I can’t remember

I don’t care

The stars sing tenderly to me

Their mournful cry from afar

Helpless to relieve me

Powerless to help

Incapable of aiding

A dying man

A vanished cause

A solitary shadow

I’ve given up the contest

There is no longer a challenge

No longer the next battle

Just eternity at my fingertips

And the doorway in my hand

A slit across the open earth

And I fade into nothingness

Perhaps they will miss me when I’m gone

Funny how they listen

When you can no longer speak

Yet, perhaps they will forget me

I do not know

Another life aborted

Gone into I know not where

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Note: I do not cut now, this is just a story.  Written after the end, therefore subtitled Epilogue. I won't say to enjoy this one...

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When Death Feeds

Folder: 
Light and Dark

After the thunder

Comes the rain

After a blow

Comes the pain

After it’s done

Comes the shame

You shouldn’t have done it

Brother Cain

 

Did you not know

That death is hungry

Did you not know

It always needs

Did you not know

It’s never full

Didn’t you know

It eats him who feeds

 

Cursed are you

For killing your brother

Start life anew

Far from another

Marked is your forehead

So you’ll never forget

Your feet feel like lead

Death feeds on you yet

 

Why does the sky cry

When I’m crying

Why does the wind howl

As I’m dying

Why do the animals whimper

As I bleed

Why is it so cold

When death feeds?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

The story of Cain, the first murderer, who killed his brother Abel out of jealosy. This is written as Cain's point of view from his death-bed many hundreds of years later.  Enjoy

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We need to take a stand

Screw all the dumb teenagers who use the term "YOLO"
While you're at it screw Drake too and the song "the motto"
I can't tell if the people are dumb or just simply confused
I reckon I should give a lesson on when and when not to use
You've got inspiration born from dedication from people who live once
then you got the stupid born from society deciding to eat a worm for lunch
Its gives me little faith in humanity seeing how people live their lives
I know it isn't mine but I think its a waste for the many soldiers that have died
We've been given freedom and equality I'm sure they'd be ashamed
The overdose of poison injected in our ear, The doctors are to blame
All they talk about is a messed up life and exaggerate the truth
Between listen to the nonsense, I would rather loose a tooth
Its time to make a change society need a new leader
We need someone who will make a change and be a good preacher
Cleanse the delusional minds of the modern day "Hip-Hop"
Its the same as a Chinese made Iphone, they're both rip offs.

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Our Love Is Dying

You’re miles away from here
Unable to see me shed a tear
Facing this cold night alone
Hoping you’ll answer your phone

Where is the man I adore?
Who makes my heart soar
He’s disappeared from home
And left me in the dark to roam

You say that you’re the same
But he didn’t care about fame
Love was something cherished
Not something we let perish

You wear your uniform well
While I’m left alone to dwell
On the days of our past
When everything moved fast

We would slow dance in the night
But now we just scream and fight
You would whisper poem in my ear
Now it’s your voice that I rarely hear

But don’t worry Lovely, I’ll hang on
With only memories to think upon
I’ll be brave and stay by your side
And in my writing I’ll confide…

…That our love is slowly dying

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is a small thought progression poem that I had while trying to talk to my boyfriend who is currently serving in the marines.

Dying Breed

Follow me now, down into the abyss,
don't turn away, its just a simple kiss
Follow me now, down into the dark
Don't fret that sound, its just the beating of your heart.

Come now, walk across the shards of glass, an ocean of lies from your past

Step across the hills of shattered bones, broken promises from long ago

Come now vanity fades away leaving humanity a simple stain
As you follow the facade you see, know its only a dream to be

For I am part of a dying breed, part of humanity rarely unseen,
reveal to you these qualities i hold,
to do that would seem unjustly and bold
Beauty is broken by the sands of time, but like Dorian Grey my portrait I hide, for its unmarred and perfect the visage you see, yet aged and decayed hidden in me.
The pains and horrors taking their tide.....
Stealing away such foolish pride.
It was never my choice to feel so alone
yet grace upon me, its become more like home
.

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My Dear Dead Brother

Go ahead and cry for me
But if you really wanted me
You wouldn't have come back
You wouldn't have haunted me

I don't need you here
I need to move on
But I can't do that
Unless you're gone

I buried a part of me
when I buried you
That part has to die
Or I won't make it through

Rest in peace, little solider
But let me alone
Can't see you see
I'll do just fine on my own

I love you dearly
but I'll never see you again
So rest in peace
All good things must end

Author's Notes/Comments: 

'A dream. All a dream, That ends in nothing.' thats all death is.

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To Know You More

Folder: 
Christianity

To know you more.

To love you Lord,
by actually caring
for the poor, the sick, and despairing
and those who are dying
each and ev-er-ry day.
To heal the hurt and love the unloved
of the land where love is contraband, hands
full of guilt not free, fully engaged
in saving their souls, hearts enraged
against wrongs done them but closed to grace,
closed to the King of Kings, closed to the very One
who changes everything.
(Stop living in
battles won and lost)
Doesn't matter the cost for the lost are out there
and they don't know you.
So this is my prayer.

Lord Jesus -
To know you more.

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Dying In The Land Of The Lost

Folder: 
2005

I once was lost

Left to wander aimless and free

Always looking for something

Something I couldn’t see

 

BRIDGE 1

Why can’t I find what I need?

Why does my soul bleed?

 

CHORUS

Even when I’ve been found

I’m still in the land of the lost

And when I feel most alive

I’m still dying – in the land of the lost

 

Blindly I begin to run

And stumbled into him

At that moment I knew

My search found an end

 

BRIDGE 2

Why did I find you?

Were you lost to?

 

CHOURS

 

With my eyes closed

We leaned in for a kissed

How was I to know

This kiss invited deaths bliss

  

BRIDGE 3

No physical death for me

That would be too easy

 

CHOURS

 

I know can clearly see

As I lie here in my bed

I once was lost

Now I’m just dead

 

CHOURS

 

BRIDGE 1 2 3

 

CHORUS TO FADE

 

 ~Chrystal

Written on

September 4, 2005

  

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was a song I wrote about inviting death.

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Surrounded

Folder: 
Old Poems

vulnerability seems to have her stripped and wilted in a corner;
moaning like a morner

slowly dying
like tiny stars in the speckled sky,
they are far above her head; she's better off dead

nowhere to hide the shame; no one left to blame
those feelings forever burned in her skin

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Any comments, good or bad, are welcome. Please leave a comment and let me know if you liked it, how it made you feel or what you didn't like about it. Thanks for taking the time to read my work. :)

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