Disappointment

Jaded

I'm starting to understand, starting to think
The way this industry works has got me to think
You only have friends if you have something to offer
Once your used up you are just a lowly pauper
In this microbial world, the real world is faded
The people aren't real, just enamored succubi
They'll take what they can and leave you curbside
To rust in the rain, while they gather their fame
The only thing that matters to their name
However not a single fuck is given any more
They can all burn with the rest of their fame whores
If this whole industry crashed I would be quite elated
Cause this whole experience has left me quite jaded.

Take A Look

When you take a look at me, do you even know what you see?
A father, a husband, a provider?

Take a long look, your throwing it all away.
Can't you even care what you say?

You don't even look my way.
On the 6th of December you will not even remember.
The promises said never to keep.
You look down from your mountain but its too steep.
To see me calling your attention.

Take a long look, your throwing it all away.
Can't you even care what you say?

This will someday just all fade away.
Your trailing too fast, it just won't ever last.
The things what were said were just things of the past.
But this is raging my mind just like an infection.

Take a long look, your throwing it all away.
Can't you even care what you say?

All of this shit is just bringing me down.
I wear my sympathy just like a crown.
I won't put it on and be your bloody clown..anymore.

Take a long look, your throwing it all away.
Can't you even care what you say?

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Leap Year

LEAP YEAR

It took a leap year
To fill this void I held so dear
Yet it felt like yesterday
We were standing here
Unprepared for goodbye as I moved far away

It took a leap year
I still remember when we wiped each other’s tears
I sat and reminisced, then I realized
As hours turned into months and years
How cold I’ve grown after every disguise

It took a leap year
As I walked away from another wrong
With my head held low
I found out where I belong
While I poured out feelings I once was afraid to show

It took a leap year
As my dreams took me to new heights
I’m moving south, but I need to see you on my way
Before I hit the city lights
There are a few words I’d like to say

It took a leap year
But all it took was just one more night
To find the smile that was missing from my face
Cannot believe we are under the moonlight
Together in that very same place

It took a leap year
I’m ready to take your hand
Shield you from all the things I’m about to go through
Finally, I’m amongst the stars, I hope you understand
Even though I’m everywhere, every night I’m still thinking of you

Copyright Demetrias Park 2011

Author's Notes/Comments: 

You can ask me the true meaning of this poem. This one is very personal, as it took me through emotional highs and lows. Read more Demetrias Park poetry at http://www.mattbible.com and http://www.cloudninepoetry.com, where you can submit your best work as well!

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At Least One

At least one of us gets to be happy I guess
One of us always seems to get happiness
That’s not the problem I have here
The problem I have is this ever growing fear
That the one who gets happiness will never be me
Once second we re in love the next you’re taken away from me
Found happiness with someone else
And I m left alone
Like a used rag doll on the shelf
They say everyone supposed to find someone
I guess this time it was your turn
And again my heart comes undone
I am just sitting here hoping that after a while
Of all this pain that comes
With trial after trial
That my heart will be torn to the point
That I cant put it back together again
Then I ll never have to deal with the pain within
I won’t blame you I can’t blame you
But I do feel like a fool
For thinkin I could ever satisfy you
Cuz it always seems like being my best
Is never enough to impress
Anyone anywhere anyhow
Why I even try anymore I just don’t know
For all this pain I got nothing to show
I m sure you don’t wanna hear this now
I ll make sure you never will
Wont take away from what you have now
Just gotta express this for myself
For the sake of my sanity
I just wish you and me could be
but it cant be
cuz I couldn’t make you happy
guess it means I don’t deserve happiness
cuz this time it was at least one
at least one
that can be loved
at least one that finds love
at least one
that can be free
at least one
that can be happy
I m just sayin that its to bad
That the one can never be me

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The Dud

Inferno cased in flesh and cotton scruff,

wallowing in a terminal between above and below.

Not quite a child, not quite a man;

not a thing like the adequate of which he stacked against.

Invented by and fed from the mouth

of those who cared enough to pass him along.

Now he is but a package on a filthy tabletop,

losing sight of carrier and of destination.

Half-a-dozen dyes bring him into vibrancy -

yet the shadow he casts obscures them towards the dark.

With no neck on which to turn, no hands to reach and grasp:

he assumes his fuse has rot or gone missing.

The sounds he could have made, the sights he could have granted,

The smell of his waking aftermath:

All of it lost to his dependency on the damp.

And now that he's here, and that he's settled;

he tries to tempt the passers-by...

So that they will handle him and marvel at his casing,

just before they set him aside as a dud.

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Life

Folder: 
Volume One

~~)(~~
“Life”

Everything I had was striped away
doing everything I can to keep the demon's at bay
hoping, dreaming for a brighter day
fuck the life in which I was gave
a life that cannot be saved
my dreams and goals, crushed and slammed
to this world I am damned
The words I think are never the words I say
hoping, dreaming for a brighter day

The cure I need
the greed you feed
ignoring my plead
on this painful cross I'm crucified
to this world I lied
from this world I hide
the day my heart turned black
was the day I found that rusted knife in my back
Fuck you is what they said
and that day I bled
Nothing is left but the pain
a decaying fragment all the same
rotten to the core
my mind is numb and sore
heaven isn't in my future
just endless amounts of torture
darkness all around
trapped without so much as a sound
to this fate, I am bound

"Darkness here, death is near"

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