disappointment secret love friendship pain

Are we still friends?

I thought I seen it in your eyes

I thought I felt it in your embrace

I thought I tasted it in your kiss

I thought I heard it in your laughter

I first tried to ignore it

then I tried to accept it

when all is said and done you opened my heart

took what you wanted and asked β€œare we still friends?”

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It took me by surprise, and it was
entirely my fault.
I was getting too close, and maybe
I was too much.

He knew, and I knew that he knew.
I was transparent,
always have been and always will be.
It's my curse.
I could never, ever hide what I feel.

That he pushed me away
shouldn't have come as a surprise.
But, silly me, it did.
And it hurt terribly...
my eyes still hurt with all the crying that I've done tonight.
And it's not yet over.

It pains me to stay away, but I have no claim on him.
Except friendship.
And when did that ever count?

Love is just so complicated.
Or maybe,
It's just me.

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