Lying beyond the final gateway,

There surely you can't stay;

Multitude of possible worlds,

Caves and labyrinths beyond doors

Inhabited by nameless devourers.


Ultimate oblivion

With 'Umr at-Tawil!

Most Ancient One!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Mythos poem.

here, wasn't the plan

Here, wasn’t the plan

By JFarrell


Here, wasn’t the plan;

Around the corner was the perfect place,

Scaffolding, no street-lights;

Other than the patrols in hi-vis jackets,

Around the corner was perfect.


So here  I am in the subway

At three in the morning

Rope tied to the railings,

I put the noose over my head

And step off.


And am surprised I can’t breathe

And I so desperately want to


I clutch at my throat,

The rope,

Clawing at it

Wanting to end the pressure

Whole body thrashing





I know I should be grateful to whoever found me

Cut me down and saved my life


I had the courage, I had the guts

And I did it

And it was right


Thank you for saving my life

But I really wished you’d left me there


Author's Notes/Comments: 

yes, i was selfish enough, stupid enough

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By jfarrell


I’m not sad,

It just feels like I am;

I’m not happy,

It just feels like I am;

I’m not…

And we can all see where this is headed.



The bubbles we live in,

Make us feel

What we feel.

20 years in therapy,

All my time spent with people

Telling me I’m ill;

All my time spent with people

Who are ill.



My bubble is the thing that makes me ill.



If my bubble had more of the real world,

Real people;

Real feelings;


My bubble could help me

Want to be a better person.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

trying to break my bubble

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By JFarrell


As I discard the empty wine bottle

And open my 2nd of the day

It is not without a little regret

That I begin to drink


I know this rubbish I drink

Is killing my stomach

Is rotting my teeth

Is (probably) making my depression worse

Is, generally, not good for me




As I finish the 2nd bottle

And go to bed

I will not dream

I will not wake up at 3am

Too scared, too traumatized

To go back to sleep


The oblivion offered by drink

(and drugs, if you’re into that kinda thing)

May be an imperfect remedy

But, it is an imperfect environment we live in

And it works (at a cost)



Author's Notes/Comments: 

this is not an endorsement or encouragement of alcoholism, just because i'm stupid is no reason for you to be :)

Farewell Addiction

We are all addicted to something that is corroding our soul,

Sometimes we are not fully aware of what it is,

So we stare amidst into the wilderness of the unknown,

Until we gain a new perspective of the source of the addiction,

This sickness seizes your arms and pushes you to your knees,

Until you and I find an effective measure of eradicating it from reality.


No longer a victim, caught in its bewildering clutches,

Forever a survior, free of sweltering touches.

I am free of you, don't you see,

No need to linger and await a moment of weakness,

Eviction notice served to you addiction,

Get out of my bed because you no longer live inside my head,

I fought too long to cure this,

And it began with the choice to enlist,


Farewell, addicition,

Collect your pention because no longer will you be paid for your services,

I am stronger then any symptom you force me to endure,

Once tempted, no more, I sing a new song and your not in it,

I am made of titanium, you cannot break me,

The door I lead you to, now leave me be.

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Requiescat in pace


The feeling of rest

After a hard day's work

The weightlessness of relaxation




No reason to fear

No longer any worries

My mind is happily blank

White like new-fallen snow

While I sit by the fireplace

On a Christmas morning



For my spirit is calm

My soul no longer pains me

I'll soon fall asleep

To waking dreams

And an eternity

Of sunrises  



For at the bottom of my heart;

The dregs of my emotions lie

I'd given all to you

And you drank without satisfaction

I filled your glass over and over again

Yet you could not be content


I had nothing left to give

And then, like so many before

I was thrown aside

Cast out like a leper

But the thing about barrels

Is that they can be refilled

And someone wanted me to be filled

They poured their heart and soul into me

They completed me until I overflowed

They granted me a purpose, and a meaning


So now as I look upon you

Inebriated in your unfulfilled grief

Wasted in your past iniquity

I pity you

For we cannot be connoisseurs only

But we must be barrels as well

For we cannot drink alone

But must be drunken from again


Light and Dark

Men of Iron, Men of Smoke

Red hands hidden in their cloak

Helter Skelter in their hearts

Silence people, so they start

End beginnings, death of life

Pleasured pain, calming strife

All their “truth,” is but lies

Hide the demons in their eyes

Propaganda lead the people

Separate the laws and steeple

All who speak against them die

Total darkness soon is nigh

All of those who live are dead


In a white world made of red

Ode to Summer's End

Just For Fun

Let me take you

In your mind's true eye

To blue-green pastures

Ocean-like waves of grass

Flowing gently over hill and dale

The sun gently shining

Partially cloaked behind the clouds

The crickets singing to each other

Fall is soon at hand

But for now we enjoy

Those few last days of summer

And as we lay on the warm earth

We'll daydream at how fast


The year has gone already