bleeding

All I Gotta Do

Folder: 
Miracles

Some Days Life Feels Just Perfect
Other Days It Feels It Ain't Working
When My Faith Is Getting Weak
And I'm Falling On My Knees
But Here I Am, Once Again

 

Cause I Know It's Going To Be Alright
It's Going To Be Bright Again
One More Time I Feel The Pain Running Up
But Because I Know God Is On My Side
All I Gotta Do Is Shake It Off
Because I Know, I Just Know
That God Is Always With Me

 

When The Darkest Hours Come Before Me
When The Sky Turns Darker Than Black
I Know It Kinda Scares Me
And I Know It'll Follow Me
I'm At War With The World
Cause They're Trying To Pull Me Into The Dark
Trying To Crush Me Beneath The Rock
But All I Gotta Do
All I Know I Need To Do
Is Drop On My Knees And Pray

 

Some Say That Being On Your Knees Is Weak
Some Say That Its The Most Vulnerable Position
But I Say Its Knowing Who Holds The Future
Being So Bold In Character
What Makes Him Trust In This Person
What Makes Him Have Courage In This

 

I Don't Know What I Can Tell You
Maybe Its The Things You Experience
The Pain And Sorrow You Feel Growing Up
The Hurt And Stress That Kick You To The Ground
But All I Gotta Do Is Tell You To Not Give Up

 

Don't Give In To What They Say
Sure You May Be Different From Them
Sure You Might Look Different From Them
But You Are Unique Just The Way You Are
Don't Let Them Tell You Otherwise

Scar On My Soul

When Fear Comes Rushing In
And The Knife Comes Spilling Out
Out Through Your Skin
And Onto The Ground
You See The Blood Rushing Out
You Can Feel The Rain Fill In
Can You Feel The Scars That Push Out
That Spans Across The Space

 

It Cut So Deep You Can't Erase
Trying To Not Make It Show
Trying To Not Be Scared
But How Am I Going To Make It

 

My Soul Will Not Crushed
Yes I've Got Broken Wings
And When I'm On My Way Down
And I'm Losing All Hope
Just Grab Me By The Arms
And Rest Me Upon The Hug

 

I've Been Crushed And I've Been Saved
Walking Around This Earth
I Know I Can't Erase The Things I've Done
I Know I Can Make The Best Of This
I Will  Stand My Ground And I'll Get Back Up
But I Still Can't Find A Way

 

Tell Me What I've Done
Write It All Down
Show Me The Mistakes
I'll Never Give Up
You Gave Me A Promise
I Won't Give Up

 

I Know I'm Tired
And I Can't Stand
But Time Will Heal My Soul
These Scars Can't Stop Me For Forever
Because I Will Hold On To This Hope

 

You Gave Me A Promise
You Gave Me The Hope
You Gave Me A Light
You Gave Me Something To Believe
You Called Out To Me
You Reached Out To Me

 

And Even If I'm Closing In
And I'm Losing It
I Will Hold On To You
And I Will Keep Moving Along

Picking Where To Make My Art??

Folder: 
Depression/sadness

Picking a spot on my body

to make my cuts today.

 

There are so many 

places I can choose from,

so many places that I've already cut on.

 

 

Maybe I'll cut on my hand,

maybe on my palm.

 

Maybe on my wrist,

maybe on my arm.

 

Maybe on my stomach,

maybe on my waistline.

 

Maybe on my thigh,

maybe on my legs.

 

Maybe on my ankle, 

maybe on the insides of my thighs....

 

Maybe where my underwear can cover,

 

hell, It's not like I haven't cut there before...

 

 

There are so many places

on my body

that I can take a blade to

and draw my art.

 

One cut here,

another cut there...

 

maybe a big one here,

and a small one there.

 

Cut, cut, cut, cut

my head screams to me,

my hands beg of me,

my blade calls to me.

 

 

I'm picking a place on 

my body,

a spot to make a new cut,

a new piece of art...

 

Where will I pick today?

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

The Title is a rough draft... I'm not totally sure about it... Any ideas would be much appreciated!

 

Let me know what you think about it!

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The Feelings Left In Life

I'm Still Holding On
But I'm Breaking Inside Into Pieces
I Feel Like I'm Going No Where In Life
Thats Why I'm Still Praying
But I Don't Know What Else To Do
I Don't Know What Else To Say

 

I'm Not Even Sure I Can Even Smile
Cause In A Entire Life Time Worth Of Happiness
I Don't Have The Slightest Memory
Of Any Of What I Could Have In A Life Time

 

All That I'm After I Just A Happiness Moment Of Laughter
All That Matters Seems To Fade Away
Its Not In Sight, It's Not In Grasp
But I Feel Like I've Lost Something More Than My Mind

 

More Than I Could Have Ever Wanted In My Life
Cause It Feels Like It Drifted Away
I Used To Want More Than Smiles
But Feels Like It Aint Worth Anymore
It Was All Wandering In My Dreams
Even Though Its The Past Life
I Can't Even Find The Words Left To Say

What Can I Say

Its Time To Rise,
But I've Fallen Down
Will You Help Me, Lend Me a Hand
Will You Pick Me Up, And Care For Me

Cause I've Lost Sight Of The Light
I'm Starting To Fall Into Pieces
Cause There Are Times
I Wanna Give Up
Cause There Are Times
I Just Don't Want To Try Anymore

 

But The Grace You've Given
Is Far Beyond What I Can Comprehend
Our Tears Fall Out Of Cries
But What Can I Say When I Need You
There's None Like You

 

Into The Darkness I Fall
But When I Fall
I Rise Up With Greater Strength
Here I Start To Doubt
But When I Hit The Ground
I Know I Won't Break
Because Of What You've Made Me
Stronger Than My Actions

 

You've Turned These Ashes
Into Sparkles Of Color And Sparkles Of Light
Thanks For Caring About Me, When I Was Selfish
Thanks For Healing Me, When I Was Hurting Myself
Oh What Can I Say To Give My Thankfulness
What Can I Do To Give You Praise
To Kneel Down On My Knees
And Praise The Lord For All That He Has Done

Sparkling Light

Folder: 
People

I Don't Know What It Is
But There's Something About You
That's Beyond Words Of Amazing
I'm Sitting Here Thinking About You
You Don't Know How Much I Love You

 

Because It Hit Me Like A Wall
You Surprised Me
It Was Overwhelming
I Saw You With A Bright Smile
You Caught My Eye
I Don't Know Why
But I Can't Explain Otherwise

 

But In A Few Moments
I'm Here With You
My Doubts Fade Away
Because When I'm Holding You
It All Starts To Make Sense
I'm Thinking Will You Be With Me Forever
And Of Course Instantly It Becomes Crystal Clear
Destined Love Known To My Heart

 

Let Me Brush Up Against You
Let Me Hold Your Hand Beside Me
Let Us Sit Below The Stars Tonight
Let's Enjoy This Beautiful Starry Night
To Have Time To Bond With The Love Of My Life

 

My Love Is Burning With Intense Passion
With You Standing Right In Front Of Me
Close Enough To Hold Your Hands
I Blush Bright Like A Tomato
Not Because You Make Me Smile
But Because I'm In Love With You
And I Love You More Than Words
Could Ever Possibly Say Any Day

Glitters Are Passing By

Folder: 
People

Sparks Fly And I'm Trying To Hide
Because There's Someone I Love
No It's Not Just A Feeling
But An Excitement Of Pleasure
Someone Who Sparks Up Your Face
Somebody Who Makes You Smile

 

He Doesn't Just Say You're Beautiful
He Actually Means Every Word
He Makes Your Face Blush Up
He Makes You Feel Comfortable Being Yourself

 

If I Could Have You In My Arms
I Would Hold You So Close
If I Could Have You With Me
I Would Snuggle You Right Up To Me

 

It May Be Raining Outside
But Let's Make The Best Of This Moment
When I'm Snuggling With You
I Feel Like I'm In Love, No
I Am In Love With You
I Can't Shake Off This Feeling
Because It's Real And I Love You
More Than Words Could Possibly Show

 

You Came Into My Life
And You Made Everything
Way Better Than It Is
I May Never See You
But I Pray I Will See You
Maybe Sometime In My Life

 

I Swear I'd Do Anything To Have You
Distance May Separate Us In Life
But I Would Die To Be With You
Maybe It's All Wish Thinking
But I'd To See Your Face
I'd Like To Be With You
If God Determines Us To Be Together
My Lovely Skyler...

Holding Back Love

Folder: 
People

That Girl Is Like
A Thrilling Beautiful Silver Mermaid
You Don't Know If Mermaids Are True
But If You've Seen Someone So Beautiful
How Would You Describe Them?

 

Perhaps She Is A Very Kind And Caring Woman
Or She May Be Cheerful And Affectionate Lady
Maybe She Has A Specific Type Of Personality
That Just Thrills Beyond Your Expectations

 

Someone You Just Adore And Love
That One Of A Kind Woman You Dream Of
May It Be Very Unique Or A Compassionate Kind Hearted Girl
Someone You Might Have Known For A Long Time
That You Just Haven't Gotten To Know Enough About Them

 

Maybe If You Take That One Step
Maybe You Could Get To Know Them
A Little Bit More Than You Wanted
More Than You Wanted,
More Than You Could Ever Wanted....

 

I Don't Know, But I May Be Falling For You
Because I'm Hiding What I'm Feeling Here
But I'm Tired Of Holding This Inside My Head
Maybe I'm Falling For You...
Might Be Falling For You...

 

No One Is Around Us
We're Here At The Beach
I'm Scared Of What You May Think
The Sun Is Shining So Bright
It Brightens Your Face
More Radiantly Then Ever
I Don't Know What To Do
But I Think I'm Falling For You
I'm Falling For You...

 

My Heart Keeps Racing
Emotions Keep Spinning Around And Around
I Spend All My Time Thinking About You
I Can't Stop Thinking About It
Because I Know I'm Falling For You...

Supernatural Show Dream: July 27, 2013

WARNING! THIS DREAM IS VERY DISTURBING... READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!
 
Okay here is the dream. First off there is this show called: "Supernatural" over here. It is a show about two guys who fight off demons and try to stop the Apocalypse . At least that's what I have gotten from it... I don't really watch it and I have only seen a few episodes... Anyways here goes the dream: 
 
This dream was about the guys from the tv series, "Supernatural". I don't know their names though so I will just say "guys" or guy" or whatever...
 
 It all started when I walked into this warehouse-like room and saw the guys from supernatural. One was all evil looking and the other one was normal and the normal one suddenly ran up to me and picked me up and ran out the door.
 
 But as he was running with me, before we could get out of the door, I looked over and saw the other guy twitching and his eyes were rolling into the back of his head and they were turning black.
 
 I was freaked out. I remember thinking, "Oh my god, this is it, I am going to die!!!"  It was so intense. When he put me down I realized that I was bleeding..down there... I thought that I had started my period and got really embarrassed and apologized to the guy. 
 
Then, the guy said. "No, you are giving birth to Lilith " I freaked out again.
 
 All of a sudden there was blood everywhere coming from me. I know, gross right? Then through out the whole dream I was fighting off demons with the guy and one of the demons wanted to father my baby.
 
 And the whole time we were fighting off demons I was still giving birth.... I was just walking and running around in labor and bleeding everywhere... 
 
We ended up banishing the demon that wanted to be the father of my baby, too... Among other creepy demons... or what ever.
 
 And also, the whole dream I was still giving birth. Let's just say it was very bloody and gross...
 
 I woke up before I even had the baby, or "Lilith" or whatever!!
 
 It was fucking crazy and intense!! I didn't even tell you the whole dream. There was just too much going on in it to tell it all. I woke up feeling so wierded out, lol. Then I went back to sleep and had another dream that I barely remember... And that's it... Crazy, right???
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