Alive

Precious Child

Little Things In My Mind
I Thought I Wasn't Cared For
When I Wrote Down The Wrong Answer
I Scramble To Erase My Problems
But All I See Is Black Smears
Of What I Attempted To Trim Out In My Life

 

When I Fell Down, Nobody Saw Me
When My Knees Grew Weak
I Fell Down Again Due To Anguishing Pain
Suffering Pain Deluged My Mind Into Depression
And When I Thought My Entire Life Went Unnoticed
You Reached Your Hand Down Into My Life

 

When I Slept In Sadness And Sorrow
Your Arms Were There To Shelter Me
When My Closed My Eyes I Couldn't Stop The Tears
Eyes Closed Could Not Stop The Pouring Rain
This Endless Misery Pouring Down Hardship

 

Your Touched My Head Gently
My Eyes Opened To Astonishment
But The Tears Kept Flooding Out
You Used Your Fingers To Wipe Away My Tears
Silently I Lay In In Your Powerful Presence
Your Hand Strokes My Hair Softly
With Eyes Closing Back
The Leftover Tears Drained
And My Eyes Were Clean

 

Laying In Your Presence
My Heart Was At Peace
When I Reached For Your Hand
You Hand Had Disappeared
I Turned To Look Where You Had Went
For Moment I Was Confused And Scared

 

But When I Placed My Hand Near My Chest
You Were Right There With Me
No Longer Did I Need To See You Here With Me
Rather I Felt Your Presence Already Dwelling With Me
In Thankfulness I Continue To Surrender My Life To You

 

Jesus Christ To Have A Relationship With You
Is The Only Relationship I Could Ask For
But To Have Relationship With Companions
Wasn't Always Easy To Manage
But I Can Do Everything

Through Christ Who Gives Me Strength

Beautiful Cuddle

Beautiful Cuddle

A Hug Is So Soft
Its Better Than A Drug
Its Calm And Affectionate
There Are Not Negative Effects

 

It Also Shows You Care About Them
That You Really Love Them
Oh I Just Want To Be Next To You
To Snuggle With You Like a Pillow

 

He Really Cares About You
It Makes You Feel Safe In His Arms
The Physical Intimacy Within
Stroking Your Beautiful Hair
Mmm Your Smile Is So Cute
But When You Blush You're So Adorable
You're Prettier Even Without Make Up
There's No Need To Cover Up Anything
Oh How Great The Love Is
It's Crystal Clear That You Can Be Yourself

 

Someone Whos There For You
Someone Who Doesnt Just Say Words
Because He Loves You
He Really Cares About You
I Wouldn't Want To Be With Anyone Else
You Are All That I Need

Normally I Would Forget That

What Can I Say When I First Saw You
What Could I Do When I Broke My First Try
Do You Ever Think
What I Thought I Knew
Would I Actually Get
What I Didn't Want
Because A Hearts Breaks Fast
Way Faster Than A Rain Drop

 

I Know The Things I Saw
Isn't The Way I Made To Image It
But Its Just Too Much
Just Too Much
I Never Thought Telling You Would Break It
I Miss The Way We Talked
Maybe I Shouldn't Have Told You
I Should've Held It In
Because It Wasn't Meant To Be

 

There's Only So Many Words
I Can Say To Pass The Time
I'm Running Out Of Things To Do
To Get You Off My Mind
I Feel Like I'm Aware
But I'm Actually Blind
I'm Careless And Forgetful

 

I Know There's Nothing Broken
But I Feel Like I've Lost Something
There's None Like No Other
Because Feelings Just Deceive You
I Know I'm Not Meant To Do So
Not Suppose To Pray Based On My Feelings
But Just Give Me A Moment
Because I Don't Know What I Should Do

 

But It My Brain Marks All The Things I Do
I Can't Waste Time Trying To Forget The Past
Because Its Way Back In History
I'm Just Trying To Image What God Wants Me To Be

 

Though I Feel Like I'm Being Pecked Off
Pinched Needle Pokes
Something I Can't Seem To Get Off My Back
But Even If I Knew How To
I Just Wish I Didn't Always Feel This Alone
I Just Want To Be With You Holy Spirit
Please Accompany Me In My Every Day Living Breath
So I Don't Need A Reason For The Things That I Do

 

I Haven't Given Up I Just Feel Tired
This Faith Is Becoming So Weary
I Don't Want To Become Someone I'm Not
Somebody That Doesn't Care About People
Someone Who's Selfish About Themselves
I Just Want To Be Somebody For Someone

Pandora's Box

.............

 

exhaustion surrounds 

 

permeating her auric feild

 

like a blanket of thick smoke

 

retiring into the darkness of night

 

it is her solace and place of quietude

 

undaunted by earthly storms 

 

the raging fires of voicy havoc

 

 raucous misunderstandings

 

petty misgivings that cloud the path to clarity

 

slowly and calmly anesthetized 

 

by the rise and fall of her chest

 

the inspiration of her breath

 

 far into the depths of unconscious planes

 

dreaming of spatial incongruencies

 

distorted views of the day's events

 

 slip into a place where they make more sense

 

awakened by a sound

 

 a child weeping

 

baby soft skin broken by the remnants 

 

of an ogre's  shame and anguish 

 

after dropping bombs on innocent women and children

 

abandoned by an angel of forgiveness

 

left in the scourge of suffering

 

accompanied by his own flesh and blood babies 

 

 one man's desperation 

 

the cold war has been resurrected

 

a house of horrors comes alive

 

it is up to each one to survive

 

 raw emotion pierces a hole

 

gnawing like lightning through the night

 

 into the core of her soul

 

awakening with cries

 

but after 35 years

 

she is finally alive.

 

 

 

 

 

 

10:07 PM 7/3/2013

©

 

..............

Author's Notes/Comments: 

What war does. it lasts long after it's over.my father beat me 2 months after my mother's sudden death, and I blocked it out for 35 years of my life.

Shining So Bright

Folder: 
People

If I Could See
All The Defects In Me
I'm Sure I Wouldn't Like It
But If I Saw The Imperfection In You
I'd Still Love You Anyways

 

If You Say You're Perfect
I Wouldn't Believe You
In Fact I'd Say You're Lying
But I'd Love You Anyways
I Know Better Than To Love The Things That You're Not
But To Love You For The Things You Are

 

Because When You Shine
You Shine The Brightest
Even If You Feel Like Dull Jewel
And You Feel Like You're Worth Nothing But A Dull Gem
You're A Sparkling Diamond To Me
Cause You're Shining More Than Ever!

 

You Glow Like Radiant Sparkle In The Dark
Oh Even If I Were Blind
My Eyes Would Open Wider Than Loves Arms
If You Could See The Gap In Between
I'd Know It Would Definitely Be Yours And No One Else's

 

The More I Spend Time With You
The More I Fall In Love With You
If I Told You My True Feelings
Maybe You'd Fall In Love Me
But I Know Better Then To Let My Heart Spill Out
If Fate Let By God Made This On Purpose
Then I Wouldn't Want To Spoil And Rush It

 

Because Love Isn't Meant To Be Rushed
Because It's Meant To Be Cherish
It's Meant To Enjoy Every Moment
The Ups And Downs In Each Relationship
The Fights In Couples May Break Them
But Fighting To Stay Connected Together
Is What Makes Them Stronger Together

 

If Lead Me To The Stars
I Would Find You At The End
At The End Of My Rainbow
Only You Would Shine So Bright
Would It Lead Me To Your Beautiful Love

Right Here Beside You

Folder: 
People

If I Could Be Anywhere
I Wouldn't Need To Choose
Cause I'd Want To Be With You
Right Here Beside You

 

Because I Love You More
Than The Number Of Places
I Could Choose From
Love You More Than The Number Of
'I Love You' Phrases In An Entire Life Time

 

I Don't Want To Be Anywhere Else
Other Than Here With You
Because We Could Be Having Fun At The Beach
We Might Be Chilling At The Arcade
Playing Along The River Stream
Biking Around In The Park

 

But I Choose To Just Chill And Cuddle Beside You
Where Ever You Are I'll Be By You
Right Beside You So Close Our Cheeks Brush Against
I See Your Face Blush Like a Bright Tomato
I Smile Back At Your Adorable Cuteness
Because I Choose To Be With You
There's No Where Else I'd Choose

 

We Could Be At Home Listening
To Smooth Cool Jazz
Peaceful Melodic Orchestra
Listening To The Radio
What Ever It May Be
Sitting Outside Watching The Clouds Pass By
May It Be The Night Time
Star Gaze Upon The Beautiful Night

 

It May Be A Beautiful Night
But There's Nothing More Beautiful Than You
Sitting By Your Love Partner
Oh How Your Heart Beat Pumps Faster
Or Pumps Way So On How Close You Are

 

May The Closeness Be So Comfortable
That You Don't Even Want Sex
Because Of The Corruption Of This World

Divorce And Broken Relationships One After Another
And Oh How The Disease Spreads Like a Plague

 

But To Be Snuggling Right By Your Lover
To Feel Close To Each Other All The Time
Oh How Lovely Our Skins Brush Up

 

Kissing You Oh So Gently
Not Too Soft Or Not Too Fast
But To See You Blush Like The Color Scarlet Red
To Run My Fingers Through Your Hair
Oh How Pretty But So Adorable At The Sight Of You

 

Gently On The Lip That Happiness Of Tears Flow Out
To Feel The Pulsing Heartbeat Pound Faster
It's Such A Pleasant Moment To Feel
To Be Here With You
Snuggling Close Beside You

Tearful Delight And Happiness

Drip Drop Drip Drop
Slush Splash Slush Splash
Here Comes The Rain
For The Rain Is Pouring Upon Us
Maybe This Time It Calls For Desperate Measures
But Wait What Do I See In My Distance

 

I See You Walking Towards My Way
Why Would Such A Beautiful Girl
Be Walking In The Rain All Alone
Drizzling Of The Tears
Tears Splashes All Over
Sometimes I Feel Like I Hardly Know You

 

You Say You Can't Stand Being At Home Alone
When The Rain Is Flooding Down Like A Ocean
Though It Make Trapped And Scared
Saddened To The Desperate Measures
You Tell Me Whats Wrong
You Tell Me Why You're Here

 

But Suddenly You Come Rushing Into My Arms
Close Tight And Squeeze Me Hard
Why Is This So, What Does This Mean

 

You Tell Me You Hate Being Alone
The Rain Scars Your Skin
The Memories Of The Past Seem To Haunt You
It Makes You Remember Of The Horrible Times
I Don't Know How Terrible It Was
But If You Need Somebody To Accompany You
I'll Definitely Stay Here Forever Till You Say So

 

Here You Are In My Arms
I Don't Move A Muscle
But I Don't Loosen Up
Because I Just Hold You Closer To Me
You Feel Like You're Scared To Death
Like You've Been Abused At Home

 

I Wouldn't Know The Experience
But I Totally Feel Your Pain
I Can't Say Its The Same Kind Of Pain
But I Know That Experience
Knowing Yourself You're Not Safe Here

 

You're Totally Safe With Me
I Can't Stand To Have Friends Hurt
But I Don't Like Seeing My Friends In Pain Either

 

Your Face Comes Close To My Face
I Blush A Bit Because I've Never Felt Romance
Cause I've Never Been In Love Before
You Lips Come Close To Me
I Don't Push You Away
But You Gently Kiss Me
I Affectionately Approve It

 

But Why Do The Tears Fall Out
Are You Happy Cause You're With Me
Or Are You Happy Because You're In Love
Whether I Knew Either Was True
I'm Glad You're Here With Me
And Not Someone Else Who Would Abuse You

Drying Out The Tears In Your Eyes

When The Night Seems Forever Lost
And You Feel Like You've Got Nothing Else Left
When Everyone Else Leaves You Behind
And All That's Left Is The Dust They Leave Behind
The Ones Who Feel Left Out
I Promise That You're Not Alone

 

I Know How It Feels To Experience Such Pain
Cause I've Been Inside Your Shoes
I've Been On That Road Before
I Know The Things You Go There
For I Am Always With You

 

In The Moments Where You Feel Vunerable
The Times You Want To Just Give Up
Please Don't Let Go
Because I'm Right There With You
My Spirit Is Sitting Right Beside You

 

There's No Distance That Can Separate Us
Even If You Feel Like We've Drifted Apart
I Know That's Not The Case
Because I've Been Looking After You
I've Been Praying For You

 

Even With All The Words I Could Tell You
I Couldn't Possibly Tell You
The Amount Of Affection To Show You
How Much I Intensely Love You

 

If You Desperately Need Love
And You're Left Speechless
Just Come Into My Arms
You Don't Need To Say Anything
I Don't Need A Sign From You
Because I Accept You The Way You Are
I May Not Know How You're Feeling
But I Love You Anyways

 

Please Close Your Eyes
Rest Your Head Beside My Shoulder
And I Promise I Won't Let You Go
I May Not Be Able To Erase The Pain
But I Will Definitely Ease Your Heart
To Heal The Scars I Can't See With My Eyes
To Mend The Wounds That's Hurting You
Just Call For My Name
And I'll Be There For You

Descend Your Vision

With This Overflowing Faith
The Way You Set Me Free
Release This Pain Inside Of Me
Seizing My Chest Tighter Than Ever
It Grapples Hold Of My Heart

 

The Force Resides Inside Of Me
Release These Chains That Are Crushing Me
I Becoming Something Better Than You Can Conceive
It's Who I Am Cause I'm Feeling So Free
It's Like I'm Soaring Through The Sky
Like A Tidal Wave Crashing The Ocean

 

Take Me To The Limit
Break The Atmosphere In Half
And Take Me To The Stars
Because All I Am Is
What You're Seeing In The Stars
Cause I'm On My Way To Be Free

 

These Walls Can't Hold Me In
Because The Chains Cannot Limit The Ocean
This Road I'm Riding Will Never Change
Will Fortitude Of Justice Break Through
Or Will The Darkness Overwhelm The Heart

 

Overflows Till My Heart Diffuses Into Universal Love
Something You Can't See With Your Eyes
Something You Can't Touch With Your Hands
Something You Can't Feel With Your Heart
Because When All Else Fails
And Everyone Turns Their Back Against You
Fall On Your Knees And Pray To The Lord