I Don't Have The Words My Heart Wants To Say

Seems Like Its Just Passing By
And I Know It's Just Something To Pass By
I Thought Something Would Be Different By Now
But It Feels Just The Same As Last Year


If I Could Change A Thing
I Don't Think I Would
But I Could Have The Memories Back
I Wouldn't Doubt With Pure Reject
I Wouldn't Reconsider Cause I Wouldn't Want It
All This Time I'm Just Pretending


I Know It's Important To Me
But It Feels Pointless Right Now
Even Though I May Not Understand It
Maybe's I'm Just Thinking Too Much
But Honestly I Just Don't Remember
Why I Even Feel This Way Anymore
Or The Things That Changed My Mind


I Don't Have The Words
I Don't Really Feel Like Saying Anything
But To Feel The Warmth Affection
I Just Can't Believe It
What Are You Waiting For

Cause If You're Waiting On Me
I Don't Have A Clue
On What I Should Aim For

All I Have Is Bits And Pieces Of Things In My Mind
All These Memories I Don't Want To Remember Anymore
But My Mind Reminds Me Of Things I Try To Forget
I Don't Feel Like I Should Care About Anything Anymore


I Walk Down This Path I Feel Like I Should Know Something
But All I Know Is That I'm Dead Inside
Ohh I Scream For Your Name
I Can't Block Any Of This Pain
Because It's All Coming From Inside
It's Eating Me Inside Feels Like An Erupting Outbreak


Feels Like There's No Room For Anything In My Heart
All I Have Is The Fear That Merges Me Into Frightening Timid
All I'm Feeling Is This Tormented Scars That's Driving Me Insane
All I Thinking Is This Distressful Agony That's Torturing Me Like Crazy
Although All I Have Left In My Heart Is Knowing I Just Can't Give Up On God

An Expression Of Love

I am gravely sorry
That you hold pain within you.


We share love,

Whether you choose to accept it
In your reality or not.


I am empathetic towards your pain.


I am not a psychiatrist.
I am not a psychologist.
I do not know how to control your delusions,
Only you know how to do that.


I do know this.

When you can clearly see,
That keeping your mouth shut,
Instead of opening it,
Is hurting far more people
Than it is helping...'s time to open your damn mouth.



05/19/2013 10:04 AM ©

Author's Notes/Comments: 

We all choose our delusions in life.

Screams Of The Exile

If I'm Aiming To Sing For Love
Then Why Am I Always Screaming Out My Lungs Out
I Can't Help It But Scream Out When Life Beats Me Down
When I Can't Feel My Lungs I Always Forget About My True Identity
I Always Need To Keep My Heart Soft And Gentle
Cause I Know I'm Not Filled With Harsh Hatred


But Now I Know I'm Choking
And Then I'm Starting To Bleed
I Know Can't Stop The Race
I'm Feeling It In My Knees
I'm Beginning To Stumble Down


Let Me Breathe Through You
Let Me Feel Your Unconditional Love
Cause This Grip Of Mine Loosens It's Ambition
When I Lose My Impatience
It Takes Over My Attitude
I Lose The Boost Of Progression
And It Declines My Steady March


A Movement I Just Can't Stop
I Can't Turn Back And Fall Over
Because Before I Know It
It'll Be Too Late For Me
But I Know I'm Saved By My Savior
If God Is With Us, Who Can Be Against Us

The cost...

I wish I could explain exactly what and how I feel.
Human beings are stuipid that way.
We're able to feel too many things
Things that feel good and things that feel bad.
Some nights I wish I could be anything else but human.
We don't realize as people, how easy it is to break someone and crush them down to a pile of ash simply because they said something unknowingly...or perhaps lacked to say something that was important to them. 
"It wasn't intentional, i had no idea"
Something like that would be uttered out but that's human nature. Unknowing, clueless creatures.
Reasons beyond what I understand or am capable of knowing why, I may have discovered why I wish to remove my exsistance from this world. It's not that I want to live. It's that i want to live happy without being able to experience the bad things, BAD emotions.
However it can only be a dream.
Happiness is expensive.

I Know You Care About Me


I Know I Put Myself Down
I Know Shame Myself For Being Unique
I Know I've Discredited Myself
I Know I've Neglected My Confidence


But Thanks For Loving Me Anyways
I Know I Don't Deserve This Love
I Sometimes Ignore You
And I Don't Even Talk To You


But Even If The Odds Are Against Me
Thanks For Being There For Me
Thanks For Praying For Me
I Know When The Clouds Pass By
And The Stars Twinkle In The Sky
You're There Somewhere With Me


If We Could Close The Gap Between Us
I'd Say You Shine Brighter Than Me
But When We Clump Up All The Souls In A Group
And The Each Person Collected In A Sphere
I Know Each One Shines Bright In A Different Way


Yes I Know I Haven't Talked To You In A Long Time
I Do Quite Frequently Think About You
Though We May Not Be Connected Anymore
I Sincerely Miss You Deeply


I Know Words May Not Seem Much
It  May Not Mean Much To You
But Honestly In This Moment
I Wish I Could Directly Hug You Right Now


Maybe I've Liked You More Than A Crush
But I Don't Think That Matters Anymore
Things Have Changed And I Can't Think Clearly Anymore
I Know Love Is Fragile And Frankly In This Society
Hearts Are Broken Much More Easily Then Ever


Perhaps It Was Meant To Be
But Since This Salvation Has Saved Me
I Really Can't Claim This Salvation As My Own Achievement
I Think The Reason I Was So Clean From This World
Was Because God Planned It From The Beginning


Without A Doubt I Surely Wouldn't Know About It
To Actually Know Whats Planned Ahead For Me
And The Reasons For The Things That Has Occurred In My Life
I Can Only Know That You Care More About Me Than I Know

She's Pretty Unique


I've Always Thought It Was Cute
Whenever A Girl Blushed
But In This World
People Are So Critical Of Appearance


Sometimes It Makes Us Insecure
But Really Its Just Personal Opinions
Though We Take Other People's Harsh Judgement
Over Our Own Perspective And We Hurt Inside


But Really People Are Beautiful In Their Own Ways
It Really Is A Bother When People Critically Judge
And Point Out The Bads Of Someone's Face
If They're Not Skinny, They Aren't Attractive
But If They're Fat, They're Unhealthy


It's All A Matter Of Your Views
People Are Really Unique In Their Own Ways
Whether If It Has Pros Or Cons
We Are All The Same In Flesh And Bone Humans


I Like The Diversity Of Personal Assorted Interests
It Goes The Same With Hair Style And Clothing Preference
If Someone Has Curly Hair, It's Swirls Like A Sharp Twister
If Someone Has Straight Hair, It's Majestic Like As Flush Bridge
If Someone Has Wavy Hair, It's Smooth Like The Cool Ocean


No Matter What You Look Like
You're Always Beautiful
If Someone Doesn't Find You Attractive, That's Okay
Because We Are Pretty Unique In Our Own Ways

How Do You Keep Happiness

Various Objects

I Know That It Hurts
About What I Feel
But I Can't See It!
It Feels Like I'm Carrying Lots Of Burdens
Thousands Of Tons Weighing Over My Shoulder


I Think I Know About It
But I Really Don't Know Myself
I Know That I'm Breathing
But I Can't See Whats In Store For Me
If I Can't Feel You
I Know I Have To Trust You God


I Just Pray That You're Walking With Me
Whenever I Face A Difficulty In My Life
I Know I'm Running Away From My Problems
But In My Mind I'm Just Afraid Of The Future
Where I Can't See My Successes
The Triumphs I've Already Made
Since It's Already In The Past
All That Remains Are The Memories


Memories I'm Not Always Fond Of
Ones That Pain Me And Hurt To Think About
Stumbling Across Random Reminisces
Please Don't Remind Me Of The Hurt
It Chokes Me To Recall Such Loneliness


Don't You Dare Shove It In My Face
I Can't Control Or Contain Myself
And I Just Break Loose The Locks
Why O'why Does It Have To Be Like This


Life Didn't Come With A Manual
Never Once Did It Tell Me How To Feel Happy
How Does One Obtain Happiness
And When You Receive A Portion Of It
How Do I Keep It
Can It Be Placed In A Container
How Do You Feel The Happiness Kelt Inside


How Can I Keep A Happy Face On
When All I'm Showing Is Fake Smiles
My Skin Shows No Cuts Or Bruises On Me
It's Because All Of The Hurt, The Cuts, And The Bruises
Are All Sitting Inside Of My Heart
All The Wounds Are Mental And Emotional
I Can't Keep Myself Occupied With Other Things
When You Can't Feel Or See Any Hint Of Pain
It's All Hiding Deep Within Me

I Know How That Feels

I Know How You Feel
When Your Friends Ignore You
They Don't Even Respond To You
When They Have Some Free Time
But You're No Where First On Their List
They're Always Chilling With Their Other Friends


I Know How You Feel
When Your Friends Need Somebody
But They Just Don't Think Of You
They Go On And Ask A Different Friend
It Feels Like You're Not Worth Their Time


I Know How You Feel
When You Give So Much Of Your Time
But It Feels Like It Goes To Waste And Unnoticed
Overlooked The Shoulder And Ignored


I Know How You Feel
When They Don't Need You
But You Know They're Hurting Inside
Cause They're Afraid To Ask For Help
And When You Ask Them If They're Feeling Fine
They Tell You're They're Doing 'okay'
But The Misery Undeniably Shows On Your Face


I Know How You Feel
When You Feel So Worthless
But You're Worth Everything To Me
You The One Who Fixes Me When I'm Down
You Shine So Bright In The Dark
Like A Diamond Hidden In The Mines
But You Don't See That In Yourself, Do You


I Know How You Feel
When You've Feel Like You've Made No Progress
And When You Compare Yourself To Others
The Pain Deepens In Agony And So Much Distress
You Might Not Glow At All In The Day Light
But You Shine Brighter Than Anyone In The Dark
Radiating The Love Higher Than The Sun

Made To Share With Everyone


I Know We're Not Perfect
And We're Aren't Ones To Judge
Sometimes We Make Mistakes
And That's Normal For Everyone
But When We Hurt Those That Judge Us
It Makes Us No Different
Cause We're No Different From Sinners
To The Saints Who Glorify The World


Cause We Are The Ones Who Feel The Suffering

We Are The Ones Who Feel The Guilt
We Are The Ones We Feel The Hurt
We Are The Ones Who Feel The Pain


But We Were Created To Love Others
We Were Created To Be Strong
So We Could Lift Up Others As Well
Though People Will Push You To The Ground
Knock You Off Your Feet And Crush You
You're Stronger Than Burning Steel
You're Swift Like The Drifting Sea


Cause You're So Bright In The Shadow And
You Were Made Shine Like Diamond
Perfect In His View To Boast In His Glory
You May Think You're Not Good Enough
But You're Made Exactly How God Wanted You


Cause He Made Us In His Own Flesh
That We Could Share The Grace Of The Lord
It Ain't No Lie Cause Its All In Full Truth
He Made Us So We Could Share His Love
The Love That Is Unconditional And Unlimited To All


There Ain't No Limits To Who Gets Joy, Delight Or Cheerfulness
It Was So We Could Share The Joy In His Presence
And Out Of His Presence
We Are United As One Spirit
One Heart Whole As One
One Mind Fused As One
One Body Combined As One
And One Soul To Blend As One