Fool

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My husband

I used to believe I could fly,
that if I kept swinging,
I'd touch the sky.

I used to believe that people were angels,
yet I've met my share of demons,
I understand they can be both and niether.

I used to believe in fairytales,
Prince Charming, knights in armor,
but then I realized they come in disguises,
that most are all lies.

I used to believe in the end of a rainbow,
that each shooting star granted wishes,
then I stopped looking up at the night sky.

I used to believe in forever,
that I'd find the one who'd make me shine,
the one who'd sweep me off my feet.

Loved too many times,
never quite right, something always missing.

Used to believe in a brighter future,
in fate and distiny,
skeptism clouded my heart with ice.

Used to envy a child's eyes,
the innocence and purity,
a precious gift that was raped from me.

Heart has been bruised and broken,
healed and frozen, always given in pieces.

I used to be lost in a maze,
I belonged in the dark,
content among ghosts and graves.

I've lain, stripped bare and bleeding,
wanting it all to end,
hanging onto life by the fingertips.

Used to barely breathing, only existing,
needed to feel anything, even if it wasn't real.

Proof of life, a light in the dark,
hope that the rain would stop falling.

I used to watch the summer storms,
feel the thunder in the air,
was at peace like never before.

Could never accept the life that was mine,
fighting personal demons, invisible temptations,
nightmares that always lurk just out of sight.

Refused to let go of the dream,
of a promise I tried so hard to believe.

Each love song spoke to my heart,
filled with longing, fear and agony,
wondering if it'd ever be my turn.

Tried to stand on weakened legs,
fly with clipped wings, only to crash back to Earth,
vermillion angel, wretch that couldn't be saved.

Always perferred truth to illusion,
reality to dream, clung to that haunting happiness,
romantic at heart, always the fool.

The day I met you it all changed,
the world stopped spinning,
the past didn't matter.

Promises meant nothing,
empty words and sacharine lies,
poisoned kisses from velvet lips.

You speak with your heart and soul,
my breath catches in my throat,
all you do is smile.

You see me as an angel,
precious and beautiful,
but you're the one with the halo,
I just have wings that forgot how to fly.

You are a fire that burns inside of me,
raging out of control,
the flames dance wickedly,
caress with tender kisses.

Always trying to keep my balance,
you knock me off my feet,
you don't even have to try.

What have you done to me?!

You push me to my limits,
encourage me to keep fighting,
don't push or pull, you watch and wait,
a sweet smile on an angelic face.

Always want to pull away,
past fears and insecurities barr my way,
you always make me feel safe.

The walls I spent building,
they dissolve into mist,
don't even need them now.

I used to believe I was unpretty,
ugly and twisted, a scarlet whore,
took forever for that veil to lift.

Accepted my past, the scars and faults,
finally saw the truth,
I'm amazing, beautiful, breathtaking.

Yet I couldn't look in a mirror,
wanted to shed blood,
hated what I saw.

In your eyes I see someone else,
someone who couldn't possibly be me.

You listen to every word I say,
kiss each tear I can't cry,
hold me close without judgement,
you heal all the pain inside.

You are my forever, my happy ever after,
my light in the abyss, the one I never want to lose.

If this isn't real, all a dream,
don't ever wake me.

Pull my strings, I'll dance just for you,
help me believe again, live and feel,
show me the truth, that you're here to stay,
baby I'll be a fool for you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Love you my angel

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