Confessions of a nobody


I still think of you,
long for you.

You are cold and uncaring,
don't you see how much you're hurting me?

I held onto you,
the dream of us.

For over a year,
you always said the same thing,
that you loved me, but it wasn't the same.

That it's too late for us,
too late for second chances.

And now, your uncaring words hurt me,
and I cry again, empty tears for you.

We argued then you apologized,
tried to make me understand the bitterness in you.

I'm still reeling from your secret,
the one that I never expected to hear.

"I act like I don't care,
but I still love you."

How can you say those words,
words I'd given up hope on hearing.

Yet it doesn't change anything does it?
it's still too late, it's not enough.

You're with her, seemingly happy,
which is all I ever hoped you would be.

Sometimes I can read you so easily,
can almost guess what you're going to say.

But you're so adamant that nothing gets in,
no one getting close again, my fault.

I hear you say her name,
and I envy her.

You came over one day,
fell asleep in the other room.

I watched you for a moment,
longing to feel your embrace again.

I forced my eyes away,
resigned to my fate.

You are no longer mine,
whether I wish it or not.

You said those words,
and I stared in shock.

How do I explain my thoughts,
explain that I never stopped loving you.

I long for a lasting love,
but what difference does it make now,
when my heart will never be whole to give?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

D/T: my muse

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