Only

I only wanted to have a love that lasted,

then he fell for you.



I only wanted to keep living,

to get far away from the hell he left me in.



I only wanted a friend,

and then I had you.



I only wanted someone to understand,

but was afraid someone would get too close.



I lied, I told you I hated you,

I only wanted you to leave me to my pain.



I only wanted to stay in my beloved darkness,

to let the pain overwhelm me,

but you tried to pull me out.



I only wanted to be free,

to have someone see me for me,

but then the fear came again.



I only wanted to love again,

but got hurt, as usual.



I only wanted to grieve,

to let him go, but you tried to help.



I'm so sorry, I lashed out at you,

I only wanted you not to care,

I knew I'd hurt you one day, I always do.



I had to make a decision,

one that's tearing my heart in two,

I'm sorry, I only wanted to do the right thing.



I lashed out too deep, pushed you away too far,

I'm sorry, I only wanted to be alone.



I'm trying to make amends,

will you let me?



I know I hurt you, but I love you,

the sister I miss so much,

I only want to be friends again.



I'm sorry I'm not a better friend,

I'm sorry I pushed you away so much.



I only wanted a friend,

if she will ever forgive me.

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