Testimony

 

I don’t want to work for a second life 

I don’t want to gruel over wrong and right

If death took this one life I’m living, all away,

Would I remember a life worth living?

Would the memories stay?

 

Angel of Death, take me away to hell today 

Angel of Death, first stop at heaven, I have something to say,

....

“I lived a life worth living, I do believe. But to whom was I to pray, to earn my entry? And all the loved ones I bereaved, now lost love they won’t receive. If I’m not what you want right now, then just please revive me. I found a life that I loved living and a family. I reciprocate all the love that I’ve been given, and let all my feelings flow free. But I was never directed on my position, tell me what you ask of me? If you are regarded as my intellect, then where is thy decree? I taught myself how to breathe. I taught myself to see. I don’t know what you’re asking of me, not so plain to see.  Being genuine in heart and never hurting a single soul, not even my own. Is that enough belief? I’m given all this autonomy, so life is to my picking, choose any apple from the tree. Choose from the outside so they are ripe at first, decisions in life; made for better or for worse. But seasons change just like the wind and the ripe begin to thin, decisions that are made, never made again. If so much is allotted, why is so much required? If one didn’t ask to be created, why are they sent into a fire? So I say before I go, I don’t know what I don’t know, and as I ascend so low, I just hope to be forgiven. I don’t mean to hate, but the afterlife I’ve come to hate, just open up the gate, I can work according to your vision. I just got lost in all the fray, that life has put my way, if you were put in my way, I could’ve been living in your image. But now my mind is of my own, you’d think a god would let themself be known, now unable to change position. So heaven I bid farewell, as I await a hell, forever left in an existential inquisition. So I leave these pearly gates, as I approach my chosen fate, to god I bid adieu, “To God”, to who?”

 

So Angel of Death take me away, though hell is not the place for me, and heaven is overrated. Leave me in my life, just want to love some kids and a wife, and learn wisdom as I’m aging. I was not informed of all I had to know, and all there was to preach, and to whom I had to pray, and to whom I should beseech. Life should honestly entail an entrance speech.


Heaven is much too far to reach, so I stay standing upon two feet, and as hell lay beneath, I’ll feel the heat upon my feet & look above as heaven blows a cloudy wreath. Then exhale one last breath to mark the life that is now complete, I  wish I could choose the fate that I shall meet. To learn in death of the life guidelines I’m to know, but in life, felt lifelong neglect from my master. Resentment and idleness, fester and grow in a heart so intricate, so intricately sown. Tell me, 

If I’m an idiot, there’s no way that I’m alone. 

I’ve grown tired of questioning & watching the world burn, direct me on what to do. 

To my creator, from your creation, here is my testimony to you. 

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