How Do I Celebrate Valentine's Day?

 

Can’t there be a holiday for the lonely people?

 

People walking around in a daze

 

Makeup running down their cheeks

 

Reflecting on the one who slipped through their needy fingers

 

Or cursing their solitude

 

Wishing no one would have to share their quiet worthlessness

 

No

 

Instead we pile teddy bears onto shelves like shitty food onto cafeteria trays

 

We cram chocolate into heart shaped boxes

 

Packed tightly, claustrophobic

 

Like the air tight monogamy of a committed relationship

 

We buy women expensive lingerie

 

Only to tear it off the minute it’s in front of us

 

We buy overpriced cards so Hallmark

 

Can tell our partner how we really feel

 

And we do it all in the name of love,

 

Or at least whatever we’re calling the social contract conjoining two people

 

Who enjoy talking to each other almost as much as fucking

 

I want a national regrets day

 

Just some sort of terrible liquor on clearance

 

And a note pad where everyone can write down their mistakes

 

Could I finally make my friends jealous as they awe at my expansive scroll?

 

And what about slutty people?

 

Where is their holiday? (If we’re not counting Halloween)

 

Divorced, widowed?

 

I think they deserve a holiday as well.

 

Some people have good reason to avoid relationships

 

Perhaps they had the romance of the century

 

Until an untimely death or illness

 

Maybe he turned out to be a cheater

 

Maybe she turned out to be a he

 

But alas,

 

I get on with my point,

 

Valentine’s Day isn’t the celebration of real love

 

It’s the annual cornballathon ode to our obsessed, idealistic vision of it

 

Love is powerful and incredible

 

But it’s also brutal and gross

 

It has sharp elbows not found on a cuddly teddy bear

 

And when you celebrate love

 

You’re also celebrating jealousy, revenge and despair

 

It may be too darn starry- eyed for one to suggest we stop pretending love is anything you’d be able buy in a store

 

But my non- conformist, abominably angst ridden heart is unrelenting in its pursuit

 

Start enjoying what we really are

 

Not what the commercials say we should be

 

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