Disappear

Pull me from the gridiron,                                           

I can't stomach another hit to the chest,

What even are you?

Deep inside of me,

Watching every move,

Waiting for a chance to strike,

To make me weak again,

Remind me why I'll never be like them,

Someone take my photograph.

One that's done up pretty,

I want them to see me the "right" way,

So when the nieces and nephews ask,

You can show them and say,

"He would have done great things"

That's all I want,

Someone to remember me,

So I can forget everything,

I want these bricks off of me,

Right when the clouds part all perfect,

My ray of sunshine finally reaching it's graceful fingers to me,

That's when I'll breathe,

I'll exhale real and validated,

Like they do at the end of those grotesque movies,

Where it all works out,

In front of you,

So close to you,

You could touch it if you wanted to,

But never feel it,

I'm going to disappear,

You'll see me in your dreams,

I'll haunt your conversations,

But I'll be away in my secret place,

So that I never feel what it's like,

To be so terribly seen again,

 

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