What a hot mess all of this has become
I crawl out my aching bed
As it begs me not to slither out the door
Another day of coordinated confusion
Greets my gritty eyes
I listen to music about sex until I arrive at class
And then attempt not to dose off
I looked forward to cigarettes
Drugs and booze
Like I used to look forward to field trips
From across the room she's making a face
I've never seen before
Helpless
That same homeless man is at the store
Again
This time he asks me for two cigarettes
We are too high to be driving
Why are we not slowing down
Something throws me forward
I wish were home
From across the room she asks for two cigarettes
Driving helpless I've never seen before
I wish
The store she's making
Helpless asks for home
Again two cigarettes
Something throws me
Why are we helpless
Why are we selfish
Room the glass trickles down
On my across skin
Bleeding breathing
Night falls, I go to sleep
Still shaking