I often think that if I sleep enough that maybe I will dream of you. I find myself laying in bed, reflecting upon my dreams, realizing I haven't experienced your presence, so I lie there, hoping to catch another hour and a half of sleep, to visit all dreamstates in hopes of seeing you. You have poisoned me. I feel like I can't break free. I try so hard to let go of the idea of you, yet I still wake with you on my mind, I still spend the late hours of the night fighting myself to let you go. You made me feel good, but oh so bad, simultaneously. It was toxic. You left a piece of yourself behind inside of my mind. I don't know how to rid my existence of your wrath. I don't know how you do this to me so long after we have spoken. I feel manipulated, I hate it, but I desire you still, to this day, in this moment, and that is why I am here. I wish things turned out differently. Maybe I feel that because I have not yet learned the lesson there is to be, but I often don't care, because I just wish it was you and me, driving endlessly, into the night, carelessly, sharing each other sinfully.

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