Not Me


I'm lonely, understandably ironic,

it piles against me, this weight of

loneliness, pressure in my head

coming down a hill to a dead end,

quick stop, sudden shock as I realize

too late and all too soon that I'm

meant to be this way...

I'm crazy, running back to him again

reliving these bland conversations

and expressions in my mind,

expressions used too many times

over and over, how many times must

I live this over? ...and I'm still

not quite getting it,

I'm a puppy (haha) he screamed at me

but I still kept crawling back to his

feet...why must you all be the same?

but I can't blame you cuz I'm the one

that's lonely...

I'm smothering and smiling trying to keep my eyes bright and shining, coral colored and teeth glistening, I'm listening to all these love stories and love songs glowing but my face remains dull, my heart is beyond repairing and my words are cheap and tearing me, tiring me,

maddening, lonely, crazy me.

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