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Not Me
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Other I'm lonely, understandably ironic,
it piles against me, this weight of
loneliness, pressure in my head
coming down a hill to a dead end,
quick stop, sudden shock as I realize
too late and all too soon that I'm
meant to be this way...
I'm crazy, running back to him again
reliving these bland conversations
and expressions in my mind,
expressions used too many times
over and over, how many times must
I live this over? ...and I'm still
not quite getting it,
I'm a puppy (haha) he screamed at me
but I still kept crawling back to his
feet...why must you all be the same?
but I can't blame you cuz I'm the one
that's lonely...
I'm smothering and smiling trying to keep my eyes bright and shining, coral colored and teeth glistening, I'm listening to all these love stories and love songs glowing but my face remains dull, my heart is beyond repairing and my words are cheap and tearing me, tiring me,
maddening, lonely, crazy me.
