My grandmother didn't win the lottery

My grandmother didn't win the lottery
Both of my parents didn't struggle with drugs
When I thought we were happy together
I would give away my ex-wife
to have seen what kind of impact Jack
would've had on my life
I feel everyone dissects Kim's kids unfairly
Both of my parents weren't together long
leaving me to wonder what did I do wrong? 
I didn't truly have a mom and dad
it's a severe understatement to say Kim's choice in men
wasn't truly that bad, they had a lasting impression 
At a young age I learned a valuable lesson
 be very careful who you bring around your babies
Kim's side ran from me so quickly
makes me wonder if I have rabies
Dear cousins, I thought you would help me
In my weakened state when I needed recovery
Instead I was blamed for anything possible
the fact they claim to be family still, I find insoluble
I'm putting something out of it's misery
 that for years has bothered me
Today ends an unfair comparison
while you have more than one
I have one chance at success
That being with my one offspring 
Joshua, my devilishly handsome son
The first amendment is my favorite weapon 
with a loaded pen, I'm a better shot 
than legendary Davey Crockett 
I welcome any  response
Take your time, you'll never be as gifted as me
Go ahead try to give me all you got
 I've had ten times the struggles
plus many dumb decisions and life threatening surgeries
 I've lost years to dedicating time for recovery
many potentially happy years have been lost 
unless you have similar experiences,
you can't imagine the true cost
Being called out for who you are
Is now somehow against the law
Looking back on my past,
I now see something I've been looking past 
while rehashing over my much different upbringing 
I now see this very clearly
Being handed so much money
Elders become a real life money tree
This easy street would've blinded me
Who would I be if I had a father?
I haven't achieved much
a basic level of success I couldn't touch
I should've gone much farther
I have a master's degree in the art of struggle
Looking back, I'm now thankful
My grandmother didn't win the lottery
 
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saiom's picture

  You are perfect We're all

 

You are perfect

We're all here learning different lessons

The world judges by money, external beauty ..

the higher power by whatever name called

judges by our power to love