What Shall I Do

I never know anymore about what I should do.

The girl who I'm determined to be with for the rest of my life is turning blue.

Blue with sadness, as she feels she can't do anything that she wants.

Even though everyone can see the smile that her own mother flaunts.

Her own mother wanting her to not get better.

So she can be stuck in those four walls forever.

That isn't the life for her, she needs to get out.

Even though at times she wants to scream, break shit and get the fuck out.

She doesn't, she keeps herself calm.

Wanting for everything to be better.

When in her life nothing looked any wetter.

The rainy day as the cloud is stuck above her.

Knowing that she is stuck where she is.

But always wanting to go back to that bliss.

The life she enjoyed once before.

The life that never have gotten her so sore.

Never wanting to see the life that she never wanted.

Even though the smile on her mother becomes more clear as shes flaunted.

Around the house right in front of her own child knowing.

That the smile of her own child's torment is showing.

But here I sit and I feel like I can't do nothing for my wife.

Except to talk to her night after night.

Online as we can't be together.

Since two separate houses with miles apart are keeping her from getting better.

Allot of weight has been put onto my shoulders.

Got a wife with a broken leg, an I've been fatherless for almost a year.

The one year anniversary of the crash is coming up, as I can feel a tear.

Wanting to run down my face but I have the notion needing to be strong.

Since there are so many people around me crumbling is what I'm doing wrong.

I never seem to know wrong from right.

But 99.9% of my feelings cause me to want to write.

- Shane Diamond -

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Essence Scott's picture

hell...all of my feelings cause me to write

Polly Garay's picture

It's poems like this, that help times like these bearable..you are very gifted with beautiful words and a beautiful heart that defines the word empathy. I truely hope that the winds of discontentment, blow you to a place of peace and happiness..please take care..Polly