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i hadn't gone under... they informed me that the procedure would procede... i was elated without showing it... i had no nervous sensation... the sober but numb conscious reality i was experiencing in real time was all too new to me... i can't remember not feeling... feeling something... anything... all things too acutely... sharply... painfully clear is how i would articulate my physical human experience up until this moment.

 

now... on a table... naked... opened up... anesthetized... swabbed... sterilized... being cut pulled and sutured by professionals... educated experienced practitioners of the surgical arts, as it were... trust... its required in the medical industry... or lack of regulation.

 

they had never "worked on" a conscious patient before... there's a first time for everything... i had been chosen... the global Homo sapien population exceeded 15 billion now... the value and meaning of my individual subjective existence never felt less relevant... it was time for a change... a new body... a new look... the brochure promised new thoughts feelings insights perspective and such... i... i..... i........ signed on the dotted line.

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