I’ve been toiling over
This monumental decision
But my mind keeps clouding
My weary hearts vision
When will I learn
To do things right,
How am I able
To keep up this fight
How will I know
I’ve made the right decision
When all I can do
Is fuck up with such precision
I feel trapped in this haze
Of trying to make it all right,
But it feels like a losing battle
The harder I fight
I wish I could escape
This darkness and pain,
The more I try thinking
Makes me feel I’m insane
So the time is at hand
To finally choose
Will it be life or death
That sets me free of these blues
No war to fight;
peace time!!!
Missing the days of conquest
and agression
No blood shed here, just
depression
A life spent in wonder
of a purpose
A warror without an enemy
is cursed!!!!
Young boy, young boy, you’re all grown up, I saw you and my heart teared up
Young boy, young boy, something about you changed, young boy, young boy you’ll never be the same
Young boy, young boy, you took me by surprise, young boy, young boy who gave you that black eye?
Young boy, young boy, it’s ok to be afraid, young boy, young boy please, it’s ok
Young boy, young boy, fine I’ll leave you be, young boy, young boy, I’ll finally let you free
Young boy… young boy. Where did you go…? Young boy, young boy, far away from home.
Young boy, young boy, emotion stripped from his face, young boy, young boy, killed in this race
Young boy, young boy, you wailed and you whined, young boy, young boy you have departed and you have died
Young boy, young boy is no longer your name, young boy, young boy, your name is crypt kid all the same.
Crypt kid, crypt kid you’ve left me alone, crypt kid crypt kid, I just wanna go home
Crypt kid, crypt kid, you did this to yourself, crypt kid crypt kid you cried and cried for help
Crypt kid, crypt kid, I was young and was afraid, crypt kid crypt kid, I’m sorry I let you die that way
Crypt kid, crypt kid, I envy your location, crypt kid, crypt kid, let me know your nation
Crypt kid, crypt kid, give me my demise, crypt kid crypt kid, give me a surprise
Crypt kid, crypt kid, is it heaven or is it hell, crypt kid, crypt kid, this bullet from my gun soon will tell
Young boy, crypt kid, here we are at last, crypt kid, young boy, entangled lying flat
Drink the hemlock,
time to die
No more lies to tell,
no more lives to corrupt
By choice it was death,
because life was not a choice.
This voice no longer speaks,
this pen no longer writes
Time to die,
drink the hemlock
Goodbye my friends,
go in peace
Be dealt the cards of fortune
and not of woe
Make the choice in whether or not you wish
to stay above or below
This temporary existence shall pass away
but these words shalll remain forever carved in stone
For all things lead back to the grave
and you are really only prolonging the inevitable conclusion
It is your decision, however,
and Just be sure not to make a big mistake
Once you are gone, there is no coming back
be sure that this is really what you want
Before you descend into the abyss
and cross the river styx
When I sit alone and reminisce I constantly think of what I miss
The years have gone so quick somehow Memories of you,
so distant now Unanswered questions still linger on…. Why did you do it?
Why not confide in someone?
Why didn’t you tell us how bad it had gotten?
Did you think better off dead & forgotten?
I can’t begin to understand your mind-set that day
To make you believe there was no other way
One thing I can say you planned it so well
Happy as always from what folks could tell
The people you were close to and those that you knew
Fell in to shock, couldn’t believe it was true
You had been for drinks with your closest friends
Not one had an inkling that, that it was the end
On that day you went to the shop in the morning
You were seen as yourself, showing no sign of warning
On route to your death, you emptied rides of the money
I thought that was strange I thought it seemed funny
Maybe you planned to come home to us instead
And you realised that you were not better off dead
I thing I think of is how much anguish you were in at the time
And did understand what you were leaving behind…….?
I played the tape you left us behind I must of played it a hundred times
What you said about me, I need you to know
I never did hate you or thought you should go
I was at that age of loathing any rule
Hating restrictions that messed up ‘ what's cool’
I hate to think of you suffering so,
Tormented inside, filled up with woe
My hope is for you that your soul lives on free
And when its my time you will be waiting for me.
Love always Ceri x
Our past that we put ablaze,
Our choices that created ways,
Our heart that stays,
Our brain that will not chase,
The ones we abominate,
But memories never eliminate,
We will always incriminate,
But we will not stop to discriminate,
Our life has been abortive,
We were never supportive,
We all had a different motive,
Hate will always abrupt,
From it we will be corrupt,
The peace will be disrupt,
Our feelings will erupt,
We prepare but we abscond,
We forget our bond,
Even if it was so fond,
To hate we spawn,
And we never respond,
We have the choice to abstain,
But war will always chain,
It will drain even rain,
Burn it up for its gain,
And we lose sight of the lane,
We stain our self for peace we’ve slain.
I stare at my wall
wondering when will my day come
when will I get to be free from this
this torment of being stuck inside
inside my body never getting to see light
the light of love the light of laughter
when will my life find itself
find itself in this journey of life
The long road is just starting
curving every which way
not looking at a end
going on forever and ever
I hope my life can explore all of it
Until the dead end
Sitting
Leg crossed over knee
Gazed fixed
A clock ticks- it echoes and bounces in his head
his hours are numbered
The question is always
'How many are left'
He could stop the endless ticking, silence the mocking of the clock
Plant an idea in his head
The notion of eternity
Blooming with the aid of an
unforgiving bullet
Does he wait until the sand runs out
Or
When the thought of waking-
Another day dawning
Waiting on an unattainable smile-
No longer prevents sleep
He's tired of waiting
Endless
'Will happiness
or the Reaper
arrive at my doorstep first?'
Or perhaps
they are both already there
Knocking
Waiting
Moving in time with the clock on the mantle
"And I must decide who to allow in"