# addiction #death #suicide #gun #grieving #ptsd #lovelost life # heart # truth # suffering # death # sadness # pain # weak # story # happiness # empty # mistakes # fate # shakespeare # time # space # lies # difference # deceit # madness

Undecided

I’ve been toiling over

This monumental decision

But my mind keeps clouding

My weary hearts vision

 

When will I learn

To do things right,

How am I able

To keep up this fight

 

How will I know

I’ve made the right decision

When all I can do

Is fuck up with such precision

 

I feel trapped in this haze

Of trying to make it all right,

But it feels like a losing battle

The harder I fight

 

I wish I could escape

This darkness and pain,

The more I try thinking

Makes me feel I’m insane

 

So the time is at hand

To finally choose

Will it be life or death

That sets me free of these blues

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem about depression.

Peace Time

No war to fight;

peace time!!!

 

Missing the days of conquest

and agression

 

No blood shed here, just

depression

 

A life spent in wonder 

of a purpose

 

A warror without an enemy

is cursed!!!!

 

Young boy (Crypt kid)

Young boy, young boy, you’re all grown up, I saw you and my heart teared up

Young boy, young boy, something about you changed, young boy, young boy you’ll never be the same

Young boy, young boy, you took me by surprise, young boy, young boy who gave you that black eye?

Young boy, young boy, it’s ok to be afraid, young boy, young boy please, it’s ok

Young boy, young boy, fine I’ll leave you be, young boy, young boy, I’ll finally let you free

Young boy… young boy. Where did you go…? Young boy, young boy, far away from home.

Young boy, young boy, emotion stripped from his face, young boy, young boy, killed in this race

Young boy, young boy, you wailed and you whined, young boy, young boy you have departed and you have died

 

Young boy, young boy is no longer your name, young boy, young boy, your name is crypt kid all the same.

 

Crypt kid, crypt kid you’ve left me alone, crypt kid crypt kid, I just wanna go home

Crypt kid, crypt kid, you did this to yourself, crypt kid crypt kid you cried and cried for help

Crypt kid, crypt kid, I was young and was afraid, crypt kid crypt kid, I’m sorry I let you die that way

Crypt kid, crypt kid, I envy your location, crypt kid, crypt kid, let me know your nation

Crypt kid, crypt kid, give me my demise, crypt kid crypt kid, give me a surprise

Crypt kid, crypt kid, is it heaven or is it hell, crypt kid, crypt kid, this bullet from my gun soon will tell

 

Young boy, crypt kid, here we are at last, crypt kid, young boy, entangled lying flat

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I saw a boy I haven’t seen in a while, and for some reason I was inspired

The Last Words of a Poet (Final Hour)

Drink the hemlock,

time to die

 

No more lies to tell,

no more lives to corrupt

 

By choice it was death,

because life was not a choice.

 

This voice no longer speaks,

this pen no longer writes

 

Time to die,

drink the hemlock

 

Goodbye my friends,

go in peace

 

Be dealt the cards of fortune

and not of woe

 

Make the choice in whether or not you wish

to stay above or below

 

This temporary existence shall pass away

but these words shalll remain forever carved in stone

 

For all things lead back to the grave

and you are really only prolonging the inevitable conclusion

 

It is your decision, however,

and Just be sure not to make a big mistake

 

Once you are gone, there is no coming back

be sure that this is really what you want

 

Before you descend into the abyss

and cross the river styx

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Don't be vain like Socrates,

Theater is not worth the cost of death.

 

What is done can't be undone.

To Dad xx

When I sit alone and reminisce I constantly think of what I miss

The years have gone so quick somehow Memories of you,

 so distant now Unanswered questions still linger on…. Why did you do it?

Why not confide in someone?

Why didn’t you tell us how bad it had gotten?

Did you think better off dead & forgotten?

I can’t begin to understand your mind-set that day

 To make you believe there was no other way

One thing I can say you planned it so well

 Happy as always from what folks could tell

The people you were close to and those that you knew

 Fell in to shock, couldn’t believe it was true

You had been for drinks with your closest friends

Not one had an inkling that, that it was the end

On that day you went to the shop in the morning

You were seen as yourself, showing no sign of warning

On route to your death, you emptied rides of the money

 I thought that was strange I thought it seemed funny

Maybe you planned to come home to us instead

And you realised that you were not better off dead

I thing I think of is how much anguish you were in at the time

 And did understand what you were leaving behind…….?

I played the tape you left us behind I must of played it a hundred times

What you said about me, I need you to know

I never did hate you or thought you should go

I was at that age of loathing any rule

Hating restrictions that messed up ‘ what's cool’

 I hate to think of you suffering so,

Tormented inside, filled up with woe

My hope is for you that your soul lives on free

And when its my time you will be waiting for me.

Love always Ceri x

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

My dad committed suicide in 2000 this is dedicated to him.

Lost

Folder: 
Subjects

Our past that we put ablaze,
Our choices that created ways,
Our heart that stays,
Our brain that will not chase,
The ones we abominate,
But memories never eliminate,
We will always incriminate,
But we will not stop to discriminate,
Our life has been abortive,
We were never supportive,
We all had a different motive,
Hate will always abrupt,
From it we will be corrupt,
The peace will be disrupt,
Our feelings will erupt,
We prepare but we abscond,
We forget our bond,
Even if it was so fond,
To hate we spawn,
And we never respond,
We have the choice to abstain,
But war will always chain,
It will drain even rain,
Burn it up for its gain,
And we lose sight of the lane,
We stain our self for peace we’ve slain. 

Life lost

Folder: 
Serious

I stare at my wall

wondering when will my day come

when will I get to be free from this

this torment of being stuck inside

inside my body never getting to see light

the light of love the light of laughter

when will my life find itself

find itself in this journey of life

The long road is just starting

curving every which way

not looking at a end

going on forever and ever

I hope my life can explore all of it

Until the dead end

 

Artists Cor(o)ner

Sitting

Leg crossed over knee

Gazed fixed

 

A clock ticks- it echoes and bounces in his head

his hours are numbered 

The question is always

'How many are left'

He could stop the endless ticking, silence the mocking of the clock

 

Plant an idea in his head

The notion of eternity

Blooming with the aid of an

unforgiving bullet

 

Does he wait until the sand runs out

 

Or

 

 

When the thought of waking-

Another day dawning

Waiting on an unattainable smile-

 

No longer prevents sleep

 

He's tired of waiting

Endless

'Will happiness

or the Reaper

arrive at my doorstep first?'

 

Or perhaps

they are both already there

 

Knocking

Waiting

Moving in time with the clock on the mantle

 

"And I must decide who to allow in"