I don't know how to deal with this loss.
And I'm starting to feel really pissed off.
I gave you my love, all of me!
And you threw me away so easily.
My heart is broken, this I know.
Now I wonder, where did you go?
I don't know, maybe I'm just confused.
You never loved me, it was a ruse.
Screw me! Well, I wanted you too.
When we couldn't touch, the distance grew.
I don't know what to do anymore.
So I'm just gonna cry 'til I can't anymore.
O MY GOD! I'M FREAKING SAD!!!!
I'm thinking this healing woman
should be on a break to heal.
Regain her strength.
Regain her integrity.
Regain her mind's strength.
Her heart's clarity.
I'm sorry I can't really talk about it.
It's something I just have to process myself.
I'll be back soon enough.
I won't be able to stop completely, I'm sure.
This heart is just a bit... confused.
I'm losing my balls.
I don't want to cause harm.
But I'm doing so.
I've written some words that I want to post.
But my fear in hurting you stops me.
Yes, I realize that I'm hurting you.
I really am.
And here, on this forum, I'm writing these words.
The whole world is getting them to see.
But they don't know who you are.
Only you do.
Which brings me to another point.
I don't know who you are either.
What can I say.
I love your soul.
I always will.
But I need more than you are willing to give.
F*ck! He sliced me up.
Now I'm drowning in my own damned blood.
Is it really too good to be true?
Probably, is my guess too.
But maybe it isn't, you never know.
Thing is you still have to try.
It's risky business to lay out your heart.
But you'll not know love if you keep it locked up.
So you take the risk, put it all on the line.
And even if your heart gets broke, it's still worth the time.
It hurts you know.
Walking away from someone you love.
Tears are hard to wipe away as they flow.
I love, I can't help it.
And I love him.
But I don't know what to do.
I don't know why I did it.
But my heart wanted... him.
My heart melded with his.
What else can I do?
I must break my own heart.
Cuz I just don't feel right.
Knowing the truth about his life.
I see you with her. Smiling and giving kisses on the nose.
I knew it could never be. But life is blind hope.
After all these years I've realized my heart is futile and my woes, plentiful.
And all I've ever known were inadequate adventures.
But after all these years, I still can't accept that I cannot make you love me as you love her.
Is that of all the things too much to ask; too much to plead with my final dying breath for?
To love and be loved in return; to be a martyr for my own salvation and sanity.
To be driven to debase myself for the sanctity of a lover; a sacred lover defiled by my own desolate heart.
Being loved is martyrdom, but loving in return a sacrifice.