Drugs

"Only You Know Why"

 

 

The shot repeating, enters me again,
But I travel through time,
If only when, I have my eyes closed,
From the prison inside my mind,
 
The hands of time, now completely still,
My sins wrapped in the cog spring,
Crimson dots, still smeared by the window,
Won't let me forget about things,
 
                                             
 Only you, know what hate is made of,
 Only I know that you lied,
 Now while I'm at the bottom,
 Is where I will leave you,
 And only you know why,..continue to deny,
 
They don't come around, here as often,
Now that the air has a tang,
A movie reel showing, exactly how I stopped him,
Wasn't I someone that day?
 
Memories now opaque and faded,
Will you remember me when I'm gone?
A constant search, for an endless place,
Where I just finally might belong, 
 
                                         
 Only you, know what hate is made of,
  Only I know that you lied,
  Now while I'm at the bottom,
  Is where I will leave you,
  And only you know why, a lesson turned to       lies....
 
 
Sunday morning, surrounds me weary, 
Yet, I will still try to hide,
A little mercy, dissolved in the bloodstream,
Regret corroding my life, could've stopped him I,
 
All these things, will not compound you,
For I've paid the tolls with shame,
My hands now grow, so tired and useless,
As they grasp the rain, just to see her once again....
 
     Only you, know what hate is made of,
     Only I know that you lied,
     Now while at the bottom, 
     Is where I will leave you,   
     And only you know why,
 
     The cause of my goodbyes,
     Setting fire to my life,
     So I'm glad you fucking died...
  

I lost her

 

I yearn for you,

But we're, sitting in silence and im just trying to catch a word of your thoughts,

Are you thinking about me?

Do you even still think about me?

Brutal heartbreak, how much can one heart take,

You sleep naked infront of me and my eyes search your body for the scars that I left,

I want to, be inside of you and heal you from within,

I want to,

I want to bend you over and,

I want to, but,

I am not your enemy,

I am not your friend,

I'm everything I couldn't be for you,

And everything that I'm not, within.

 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Forever my Taco

a talk with Mr. Black

a talk with MR Black

*****************

I came across something that got my attention
its name was Herion, I guess I should mention.
I said hello, can you answer a question?
I have friends that just love you
why is that? whats so special that you do?
I waited a minute, to hear its reply
it answered back, because you ask, I wont lie
I give my users a sense of peace
I take from them pain and give them relief.
if you do me, I make things feel right
and I'll never leave you, morning or night!
I'll give you a way to escape your pain
I'll help you hide from lifes game.
Now doesnt that sound like I'm a friend
Remember, I'll stay with you until the end.
I thought for a moment...and said thats sounds fine
But about the stories, I hear all the time
How you ruin lives and take some away?
he just smiled and said... sometimes you pay!
Yes its true, I can ruin your life
but... if you love me like a husband or wife
I'll never leave you, and if you try leaving me
I'll give you such pain, you'll beg me please.
you'll do anything to stop the pain
you'll even sell yourself in my name...
I take from you all you got
and my friend, I wont stop
I'll take any love that you might have
I'll take away your kids, your mom or dad
I take the friends the you go and see
I dont want you thinking, you can live without me
I was shocked by what I heard
he wasnt lying, or being absurd
Then I ask, why would you be like this
it answered back, I can give you bliss.
Just try me, and you will see
I'll give you whatever, inside a dream
you'll do me and then you'll nod
and while your out, you can be robbed
Robbed of all your self respect
robbed of a love you'll one day regret
your self esteem will fade away
and you'll convince yourself its okay
I could not believe what I just heard
Black was true to his word
he didnt lie, or hide his sins
He knew that many would welcome him in.
he had taken some friends, which made me sad
I turned away, disgusted and mad
I thought about a woman I loved before
She had chosen black, and died on the floor
Her needle laying next to her side
the thought of her death mad me want to cry
She gave up our love and loved black instead
because she loved black, she now is dead.

as I turn from him I heard him say

I treat your kids, one of these days

 

©11/05/2016 Paul (ChryWizard)  Posney

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I had to write something about this topic.

This drug was almost in the trash along with

cross tops, reds and yellow jackets... however,

it has came back with a vengence.

I have lost 3 friends to this drug, so here

is my take on it....

(Btw. no I dont)

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Daze

What a hot mess all of this has become

I crawl out my aching bed

As it begs me not to slither out the door

Another day of coordinated confusion

Greets my gritty eyes

I listen to music about sex until I arrive at class

And then attempt not to dose off

I looked forward to cigarettes

Drugs and booze

Like I used to look forward to field trips

 

From across the room she's making a face

I've never seen before

Helpless

 

That same homeless man is at the store

Again

This time he asks me for two cigarettes

 

We are too high to be driving

Why are we not slowing down

Something throws me forward 

I wish were home

 

From across the room she asks for two cigarettes

Driving helpless I've never seen before

I wish

 

The store she's making

Helpless asks for home

Again two cigarettes

 

Something throws me

Why are we helpless

Why are we selfish

 

Room the glass trickles down

On my across skin

Bleeding breathing

 

Night falls, I go to sleep

Still shaking

 

 

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"Pain Don't Hurt"

Folder: 
Just a thought!

"Pain don't hurt!"...

    "Screams of the walking dead, poisoned by pain killers"




Author's Notes/Comments: 

"Just a thought"

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Healing

I'm actually starting to feel

After being numb for so long

All these emotions flood in, so real

It's natural but at first it feels so wrong

 

It won't be easy to travel this path

But now I know I'm not alone

The second I start to feel it won't last

I can reach out and pick up the phone

 

Meeting people in the same place

Helping each other get through it

Suddenly there's a smile on my face

Because I realize I can do it

Author's Notes/Comments: 

(October 2014) Wrote this in rehab. Such a good feeling. This is still how I feel today. I CAN do it. :)

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"JUNKIES' LIFE"

Wasting away,

On this island I've made,

Got it made in the shade,

 

Time, 

Is no concern of mine,

Drifting in and outta mind,

Tryin to leave it all behind,

 

In the distance they appear,

Rumbling softly into my ears,

Storm clouds now are getn near,

 

Things arent what they seem to be,

Look down deep inside of me,

Disillusioned in what I now see,

 

But I fret and tatter not,

For my sins in the substance got,

I inhale its fragrant rot,

 

Until the next time I will score,

I hear no thunder evermore,

Stopped the rain before the pour,

This junkies' life that I adorn.....

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Meth.

Wild thrashing, 

Sincere begging,

On my knees, pleading,

For this drug, shaking, feining,

My dying body, withdrawing, bleeding,

My heart, my mind, fighting,

Closed eyes, finally seeing,

Refusing, in believing,

Wanting, no, needing,

To endure this beating,

This feeling, I'm hating,

This life, contemplating,

This light, is fading,

Chin up, like a lady,

Show strength, little weakling,

Loud, yet muffled screaming,

No tears now, no crying,

Only truth here, no lying,

My mind, I'm sacrificing,

To this drug, so enticing,

This lighter, lighting,

This inhale, adrenalizing,

Out from the darkness, no longer hiding,

Clear thoughts, abandoning,

This monster, I'm becoming,

This body, is dying,

My lips, are cracking,

But this is only, the beginning,

This drug, my body is absorbing,

The high, only slightly alarming,

As my body slowly begins, ascending, 

The floating and energy, overhelming, never ending,

Every touch, electrofying,

Feeling strong, overpowering,

But that's what it does, before the decending, 

Before the good begins to start fading,

It's almost weakening, tiring,

I'm just waiting for the speeding,

To come to it's ending,

So I can hold it to my mouth, once more feining,

Light the bowl again, and continue feeding.

 

 

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Molly Delight

The noise all around me

spiraling through my body
the soundtrack of this jubilee
is filled with the glitz and gaudy
 
he wants me to leave
to go be with him
but the kush has me believe
the party helps me swim.
 
Maybe he wont be there
when i come crawling home faded
maybe he can't handle the affair
maybe there's nothing left persuaded.
 
but at the end of the night
i know im completely alive
because i danced with Molly Delight
my weekend revive.
 
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