anguish

Into the Depths of Chaos


I slip into an onyx dream
darker than any decaying thing
From the void trying to fill the void
Like Erebus I too am born of Chaos
-unraveling in a mist of dissonance
The silken noose tightens
I am cast into my own Spellhold-
cursed and forgotten
Pain is a welcomed refuge
Lest the 'stars hide their fires'
I will burn into a blacken ember

The hour of silence beckons
Echidna coils her fiery despair
Round and round, over and over
A mother's love- her beautiful poison
And sinks her fangs while
begging for absolution

I sink below the slithering surface
where nighmares wash away the sadness
There is no peaceful passing
She carves her scars into her child's heart
And only with her blessing does she allow any healing

I slip further into the tangled madness
caught on layers of dissension
The steady beating of despair
is slowly creating a new heir
She shows you the horizon
She tells you it is near
Then she swims in self delusion
all while drowning others with her fear

I close my eyes, I open them wide
Inside a sleepless mind, the quiet
is a beautiful lie
Like it or not I have to choose-
To descend further into a watery grave
or tie the noose 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

**My relationship with my mother can be quite...tumultuous**

Distance

Folder: 
The Love

Those times you used to say

It'll be alright, it'll be okay

And youd make it so I was fine

But now it seems you have no time

 

To watch and see that I am there

Safe and sound, I'm happy here

But now I guess I've become a chore

Something handled no more.

 

What happened to the long nights wishing

That I was in your arms and you were kissing

My on the cold winter nights

Before anything could corrupt our delight

 

What happened to that forever smile

Something you gave me so lonh awhile

That made me feel full of life

Now it seems your smile's a knife.

 

I feel torn... like you've lost your love

And you're only doing the routine enough

To get by another day not alone

While I'm miles away crying at home.

Burderned

Spent most of my life, trapped in the dark

Chasing some sort of light, mindset so stark

I go deep into the darkness, all consumed

But somehow I emerge, hope renewed

It happens every time, like it's a game

Every day wondering, is this my last play

Focused mindset, clouded by negativity

Hoping, praying, for a moment of serendipity

This light that I'm chasing, it seems to fade

The edges of my sanity, they seem so frayed..

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I don't remember writing this. I was looking through a notepad I sometimes write in, saw this and thought I'd upload it. This is the first poem I've uploaded. The art of English is not a great subject for me. All comments welcome, negative and positive.

Sour Puss

Folder: 
human beings

the mind gets filled with decaying debris,

months and years of empty words,

like a cluttered closet never cleaned

 

cobwebs begin to form and spaces fill

dying matter clog the once well lit corridors

with unresolved differences

 

silent inner wars, like tremors 

below the fault line rise,

passions left ignored collide

 

between an empty page and an empty life 

lies her heart that yearns to speak, 

but utters only anguished cries 

 

bitter reminders of more rotted cavities

inside the tightly packed memories

boldly labeled 'forbidden'

 

she lashes out,

and for another moment,

what she has resisted for years is hidden

 

 

 

 

9:08 PM 7/3/2013 

©

 

 

...........

Author's Notes/Comments: 

about repression.

View nightlight1220's Full Portfolio

Think twice~

Overthinking, sinking, falling, crawling.. damned.. 

why am I stuck in this abysmal black quicksand..? are we nothing but a pitiful man..?

I know you don't appreciate this form of expression...

but my life isn't over until i've learned each of the lessons.

 

drained, crippling, cracking & hyperventilating..

pathetic vacant melting disgrace..

I can see the smile wearing off your face..

hot wax spilled into my eyes today..

part of me knows better, then to believe in such a mundane reality.. 

there's much greater sights to see, in my 8 dimensional fantasy.

 

Slit, slice.. need to free myself from this vice. 

we all need to constantly think twice.. I wish you were still around..

wish you could be a healthy piece to my life, but I had to try & make the right choice... 

you bare that empty stare.. like a glare..

were you ever really there..?

View blackrainbow0fhope's Full Portfolio

Oxygen Genocide

when will we learn to discern ego from truth, & justice from what is right or wrong.. 

your skin feels like glass scratching against the surface of my spirit, & who you are is what you shape yourself to be..

but you'll never be a part of what is me.

shaking with some persperation, tied down & untame.

name's without faces...

 

blank plastic figures taking over your home place & shattering what's left of your heart's fragile stained glass case,

cracked & already chipping all over the place.

emotional sea over-riding me. there's never a drought in her desolate, humid mental space.

her own breath she's suffocated by..

further wandering into the forest, dimmer as each one dies.

the air must be experiencing high tide.

oxygen genocide. the smoke get's thicker as time passes you by..

 

climbing ladders, risking your life for status & score.

are we nothing but empty within our core?

destiny must be further out at sea, & these clouds are all that's guiding me.. 

a bit confusing, these doors close behind me..

the shut & slam grows louder each time.

am I walking on a thin line? is there someone there beneath me..?

 

close your eyes, & see further inside.. reality is just a disguise.

if you can refrain, don't let imagery corrupt your mind.

each & every time I come back around from outside the lines, the coloring is always the same.

dull & grey.. not to change...

i'll leave another blood stain on your concrete floor as i'm walking out the door, once again..

I should of never stopped back in.

 

imagine, ponder. your love, paralyzed & controlled by fear.. it doesn't feel like they're really here.

all you thought they were is just a blur, or a phase.

the vibe is in constant change. dampened by the harsh rain.. 

spiritual metamorphosis, brain activity levels to hold sustained.

 

sometimes the screaming within me won't subside.. should I hide?

all I really want is to be one with the sky.

is there only paradise behind the gate's, entering the afterlife..?

Despair

I’m always here for you
When you’ve done something stupid
I always come to you
And enslave you like you deserve
Who are you to do that
Who are you to say that
You are nothing
You are useless
You aren’t special
You’re worthless

Stay under my cloud
As I rain your stupid decisions before your eyes
Why are you so stupid
Why didn’t you see that coming
Why didn’t you change that when you could’ve
You should’ve
Drown in your pitiful life
You cannot escape

Despair
I’ll never let you go
I’ll never let you win
Die little brat
Die

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Tomb

A fury boils inside, not able to retain
Lashed with inhibition, tied with chains
A passion it may be, or the pain of a thousand cries
Lost in the depths of, the most ruthless lies

A rage storms around, my world falls astray
Cast into the realm of, each and every day
A reminder it may be, to the truth inside
The one that is lost, in a monstrous tide

A darkness sweeps along, take with it my smile
Such gloom it has brought, for quite a while
A hoax it may be, some sort of twisted light
Some kind of blissful misery, or some fortunate plight

A trembling overtakes and shatters, what’s left of my pride
Eliminating all hope, in each and every stride
A calling it may be, to the ascension of my will
With the beauty of illumination, my eyes are filled

A love enflames and kindles, the ruins of my soul
Burning with the heat, of the richest charcoal
A redemption it is, from the blight which consumes
Released from the idleness, of this once filled tomb

View sale7rad's Full Portfolio

Trade

What to live for, when your heart just dies
Bearing through empty hours, and painful sighs
Feeling things that bleed underneath
Gripping on to your fists, grinding your teeth

What to breath, when absent is your will to live
When nothing satisfies, and have nothing to give
When you just sink deeper, as thoughts turn vague
And you yelp for life, as you endure the plague

How to see, when lies exist in all forms
When chaos spreads, and rage storms
When doubts prevail, and simplicity fades
When truth and light, with illusions trade