Numb

Numb feels like home, but it soon gets boring
Pinching and pulling get old the reverberating noise
The dull stound of struck metal bars is as soothing as the
Blood letting it causes, searing sharp pulses of pain
Temple throbbing. Its not enough again.

Despair speaks softly now, chiding and goading
Pick at it, pick at it, dig your nails in you whimp
Tuck them under the sinews.
Curiosity grabs hold of my wrist
And the slippery rubbery crimson and blue lines
Squish together and flick apart.

I draw and snap them Like rubber bands,
I squeeze them together And they slip and twist I see
The clear puss run this is the coolest shit! I find delight
My mood improves and I see hope in sight
but I can't touch it yet I'm having too much fun!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Liked this part alone. I feel it's two poems so I'm splitting it to see if something else happens with the write.

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Free-Spirited_Wolf's picture

I know how that is, only it

I know how that is, only it wasn't numbness that was my home...It was pain from cutting and my poetry of course....But yes, cutting myself and feeling that pain and burning sensation, now that was my home. It used to be...Now, it's just poetry.


"Let me hug all your pain away.
Let me kiss the darkness away.
Let me love you and

shine my light through the both of us as one."

SSmoothie's picture

Cutting...

I am so glad you have started to look for another way and poetry is important to help cathartically release many of our demons. I want to reach out to all the self hammers and give them the tools for life to look for another coping mechanism, one of resilience and confidence and self worth. But it in a long dream in a faraway land, hopefully one day more cutters will reach out for help! Hugs congrats for doing so well I am really proud of you! Keep the hope yours with prayers for a beautiful life, SS


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

Free-Spirited_Wolf's picture

I was doing both, the poetry

I was doing both, the poetry and the cutting....But I finally quit cutting and hoping it's for good this time....But, now it's just poetry and no cutting.


"Let me hug all your pain away.
Let me kiss the darkness away.
Let me love you and

shine my light through the both of us as one."