The world swallowed my hope today
I'm sitting patiently waiting for it to
Pass it and give it back
Not an easy wait as my mind travels
Through dead end mazes in the dark
To live like this is cruel, an unkind fate
But I make my self comfortable in panic
I latch myself to disarray and anxiety
They become my faithful guides
Promised I'll be safe if it cut my cage small
Two paces either side, enough to turn and pace
And enough to huddle, knees to heart
Bars of saftety cold, hard, silent and comforting
Thoughts of dread entertain my neurotic mind
Counting seconds of minutes that make hours stretch days
Numb feels like home, but it soon gets boring
Pinching and pulling get old the reverberating noise
The dull stound of struck metal bars is as soothing as the
Blood letting it causes, searing sharp pulses of pain
Temple throbbing. Its not enough no hope.
Despair speaks softly now, chiding and goading
Pick at it, pick at it, dig your nails in you whimp
Tuck them under the sinews.
Curiosity grabs hold of my wrist
And the slippery rubbery crimson and blue lines
Squish together and flick apart.
I draw and snap them Like rubber bands,
I squeeze them together And they slip and twist I see
The clear puss run this is the coolest shit! I find delight
My mood improves and I see hope in sight
but I can't touch it yet I'm having too much fun!
Still working on it... Maybe later I gotta run...