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The Endless Cycle

© 2017 SachikoMochiko

Every mistake, loss, failure or breakdown…it’s your choice whether or not to suffer from it.

“I am a human. Just like you and me. I’m young, 13 years of age, but I already feel old. I have learnt that, whatever situation you are in now, it’s temporary. So, enjoy or endure it to the fullest!

Whether is another human, your passion or yourself, you fall for it.  This poem I wrote is inspired by both my life and my fellow friends who write with me, sharing their stories. There are many different ways to view this poem. I spent many hours choosing how to structure this and the word choice. I wanted to share this to people who can relate and inspire other writers.”

I’m absolutely sick of falling

Falling in love and making the same mistake

Eaten by jealousy

Thinking that it would work 

Even when that person who I sought, 

Catches another

Thinking that they want you

Even if the kindness expressed is just…

Them.

Whenever I fall,

And no one sought me

I fall into a deep, cold abyss

Isolating both heart and body

From this rotting world

Suffocating me and myself

From thinking that I will fall again

But again, I find peace at the bottom…

Sitting just above the bedrock of grief 

Where your screams of heart break 

Is muted by the sea of tears

But I hunger to fall 

To seek for another cradle of arms

After craving for so long

I trick myself

That my heart has moved on

To someone for me

But deep, deep down…

I know it is just a mask

A mask to cover the disheartening pain

And to keep me sane

As I walk amongst the beings

It’s an endless cycle…

A cycle that is deemed to run my world

My kingdom,

My psyche,

My crust,

Like a wheel with a tempting needle 

Waiting to cast me to sleep

As it wheels me away to again start the cycle

Even if my consciousness is aware 

I shrug it off thinking I’m happily a rolling pebble

A rolling pebble that has been dropped

Dropped into a saltwater sea of fish

Where plenty of fish swim to escape

Escape the rotting world above

I’m a pebble after all

I was meant to sink to the bottom

Or be split in half by the fish

But as the hundreds and thousands of centuries

Wear me down

My calloused, guarded heart cracks open

As the pressure of the rotting earth

I. Become. The. Diamond.

It was not long after,

I was extracted from the bedrock of grief

HEATED…

POLISHED…

Until the skin of this pebble

Peels like those onion that brought tears to my eyes

Someone has found the brightest part of me

Someone has found my beauty

Someone has also fallen…like me

In a mere emotion with two sides

Well, congratulations that someone

Because you have found a rare one

Only one here on this earth

My mere gratitude cannot express…

Express how undeniably grateful I am

===

The two of us creates another;

“I’m absolutely sick of falling”,

-SachikoMochiko